Golden beams tickle the eyelids,
As the morning wakes me up;
A shy smile greets the moment (and)
I think of you;
Memories waltz in,
To the tunes Of ‘Us’-
The past, the present and the future;
The smile, shy no more,
Sparkles on the cheeks (and)
Dances in the eyes…
Light and free,
The spirit floats,
Up to the clouds;
Where you and I,
Children once more,
Build ‘cloud-castles’;
Jump crazily,
With joy so pure,
On the fluffy ones;
Flop down,
Laughing together,
On the soft ones;
Wild with exhilaration,
Riding the summer breeze,
Parachuting back,
To home sweet home;
The warmth of you,
Against me; (and)
The passion of our love
Enveloping,
Each moment;
While the rain,
Drenches a lazy afternoon;
Sitting together,
On sparkly soft rain-washed greens;
Wording ideas, desires,
Hopes and ambitions;
Letting our minds play together,
Their own sweet games;
As the fire-red sun,
Meets a crystal blue-green ocean;
Amidst the silence,
Interrupted,
With the distant roars of the ocean,
As waves gently caress the sandy shore,
Before touching the rocky cliffs,
With carnal aggression,
While a full moon looks on;
The silver beams,
Tickle the eyelids,
As a starry night soothes me;
A shy smile greets the moment (and)
I snuggle closer,
Into the warmth of your arms;
Memories waltz in,
To the tunes Of ‘Us’-
The past, the present and the future;
The smile, shy no more,
Sparkles on the cheeks (and)
I fall asleep still smiling…
Author notes
Hey.
Jst sumin dat I dreamt of one night.
Defines love for me in a way.
I know its 2 long bt jst cudnt stop writing it down...hope you enjoy reading it.
Written September 2nd, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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Very beautiful.
Just happened upon this in my travels, and so glad I did.
It takes me back to a freer time, and a more innocent one.
Thanks for the inspiration.
Really nice work.
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I can't help but comment again to tell you that you've really inspired me... the last time I left a message here my muse was well intact... although I come back and realize it's left me. Perhaps I'll be able to write a half decent poem because of the inspiration you've given me
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Hi!
yea, sure You can put it up on your author's page.
Sorry for the late reply, I had been busy for a while.
Thanks, m glad u enjoyed it.
Luv n good luck
Pia. -
Thank You everyone for the wonderful comments and applause!!!
I am glad I could share this with you all!!!
Lemme know if the title works or if its better untitled?
Thanks once again
Loadsa luv n good luck
Pia. -
great write!!!!
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Exceptionally Good
Beautiful and uplifting. I would like to have a day like that
Excellent imagery and mezmerising word flow. Yes, a long poem, but didn't seem like it at all !!! Thanks for a pleasant read. Don't know the words that would adequately describe it, but I'll give it a shot
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well done!
This was an excellent piece! Glad that I found it before it closed. I like to think I have a way with titles
This piece flowed really well. It had great rhythm, and the emotion was expressed wonderfully! I especially like the opening and closing... very tactful!
Grea write! I go to enter your contest!
Best wishes always
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omig this is BEAUTIFUL!!!! it is genuinely the most breathtaking written work i have read in the past year, at least. wow. i found this poem because of that contest you set up ((great way to promote ur poetry LOL)) and i'm so glad i read it. however i may be as stumped on a title as you have been. because poems like this sometimes aren't SUPPOSED to have titles. because that would mean you were labeling it, putting it in a box, and limiting it in some way. you can't DEFINE poetry like this. it just happens. but for the sake of the contest i'll try to think of a name anyway. gosh. awesome job!!!!!!
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wow...very good..even with no title...
How I wish I had that kind of dream too...
Thanks for inspiring me to write about a dream...I had a very good one last thursday and I still can't stop thinking about it.
Keep up the writes! and don't forget to have fun!
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I enjoyed this poem its just long enough and its a great love poem
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Beautiful poem, "Blink Thy Eye To See Love", I loved the entire poem it was amazing! Farewell, Lost Crow Child
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AWSOME
Great job this poem defitly ROX -
!♪
lemme give you some applause too
Sweet poem -
Good
Nice piece of work, I think i have the title... -
I LOVE IT!!! Im goint to enter your contest!
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BRAVO! you really made me believe this story. it is obvious you really feel this one. i think the length was good. worthy of applause
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tactile
oh no no no - it's not too long - it's not long enough. this was 'the business' as we say in London. i want to read and read and read - title for me is 'never enough and wanting more'. mmmmm x chilli -
excellent
hey I love this. "A Waltz through the Memories of your mind'
Swirling memories that warm the heart.
Hugs
Jan -
Oh...this is wonderful...your imagery takes the reader on a very personal journey.
Sam
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This is a beautiful write, shame I didn't see the contest before. I'd have titled it "Peace Within a Heartbeat". Thanks for sharing. La x
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This rocks...and now I have to enter. Beautifully written piece. I love the form of this.
Peace Muddy -
One title in varied versions kept coming to mind..
"Sheltered Within The All Of You"
Reenie
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I love the softness and gentleness of this write, it seems as there is no title that I can think of to give it justice,
Reenie
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i'd call it Charles
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Very Good
A very interesting intruduction to a beautiful poem I am glad to read your poem you have a wonderful flow sustained with imagination. I would name it THE TUNE OF US I do not need points but I am glad to read your work is a very musical in its beauty. -
Beautiful
hi,
this is an awesome write...this is not just a love poem but something heavenly..ur thoughts, i should say, are a bit different. I just enjoyed this piece...One of the best love poems I have ever heard.
the repetition is lovely.
You have wonderfully mixed the beauty of love with that of heaven...
i liked the second stanza.
the imagery of cloud-castles is simply great.
wonderful write.
Parth.
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Awww, this is beautiful... I love it... words can't describe. I hope I can do this poem justice with finding a title. This is such a beautiful piece, could I put it on my author page? Complete credit would be given to you...
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This is an amazing write!!!I love it!!!Your contest is a good idea and I hope you find the right title for this poem!!!
Bunches of Love and Happiness
Ashley/et -
This is so soothing and has a lovely cadence.
I too enjoyed the repetition you chose to this poem, it gave even a better feel to the poem. well done!
sr
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This is such a vividly captivating write! Very well written and so beautifully detailed! I truly enjoyed the read! ~~ ~~
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Thank You so much everyone for the warmth and appreciation!!
I am glad you enjoyed reading this poem.
But I am a little perplexed as to what the title should be.
Maybe you can help me out.
luv n good luck
Pia. -
quiet an interesting piece, I like the repitition, I do that often in my work..it does explain that unexplainable thing called love,very well...
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Beautiful write
Love this bit
Light and free,
The spirit floats,
Up to the clouds;
Where you and I,
Children once more,
Build ‘cloud-castles’;
Jump crazily,
With joy so pure,
Well done lovely read -
oh my gosh, I love the imagery, i couldn't stop reading it! Great job on this its excellent! Oh, and thanx for comment on Reflection
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Awww. I think this is a great poem. I like that it describes each moments so prettily, with that kind of description i can tell there is love involved. And that's always a mahvelous thing. I like the bit about clouds, they're so awesome. And you described it quite well.. Great job
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This is a beautiful poem! While it was long, you kept my attention throughout! I especially like how you repeated the first stanza in the last. To me, I can see a person recounting that first day she/he met his/her perfect love and at the end of the story, that person is brought back to the present.
Beautiful imagery. Thank you for sharing! -
wow Brilliant write; true love is such a beautiful thing. Sometimes poetry needs to be long--You kept it interesting, so length wasn't really a problem. Wonderful wonderful job! Keep up the fantastic work, and good luck in the contest!
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Tis bootiful! Ah! Young wuve in boom!Just joshin you of course.It was kinda lenthly,but good!~~Suseann Now let me ponder a bit.Ops!was suppose to insert title here? Guess so,sorry.(You Complete The We of Us).
Edited on Sep 02, 1:18 because 'added title'.
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