Upon driftwood rubble she carries
All that remains of possession.
Waist high debris floats by her
Without thought of her loss.
Stench of corpse and cost
Captures broken
Dreams undone.
Dowsed in
Storm.
Author notes
This form is nonet. It is syllable specific by line. Syllable count should be 9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1.
Written September 1st, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
-
Hey, a new form to try!
-
this poem was good... the periods thrown in there were alittle distracting... but maybe thats your style.... very unique
i liked it... -
Excellent
Wow...what a poem you have written here...so vivid and so clear and so right about what people went through after Katrina and Rita and Wilma... it is incredible... thought provoking and I loved it...
Dee
-
Hmmm, this one is really beautiful
Quite thought provoking and wonderfully written. Nice form, nice choice of words...I love it. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in my contest. Thanks for following rules.
&love
~Lana
-
oo short and precise but very to the point, its terrible how much pain those people in new orleans are going through, i just wish there was more we could do to help them. its kinda slightly funny that they have so much water around them, but no drinkable....i spose thats how mother nature works though...good write
-
the bodies .. it left a picture in myhead,,good job
-
overall not too bad at all. Your feeling here was a bit odd but it worked here for what it was. Good job with it. you have talent here that you should use much more.
-
Beautiful! It's one of the only poems I really like about the events because it is not cliche or trite sounding. Lovely piece!
-
I think this is a wonderful piece, and a perfect example of a Nonet I especially love the lines:
Waist high debris floats by her
Without thought of her loss.
Just beautiful. Thank you for putting it up on featured for us to read and enjoy! Keep writing, because we all need to read quality poetry like this
-
Nice piece - short, but to the point - the style reads well - there is a flow to the piece that leads the reader along ... thanks for sharing.
-
good
hard to be critical of a poem written of such a current tragedy. i think better poems will come of this hurricane in time. sometimes you have to let the tragedy and grieving process evolve. -
Nicely done!!!! You have captured the tragedy that had occurred so well with this short write. Your attempt was greatly achieved. It was powerful and intense with great feeling. Thanks so much for sharing.
-
fancy
it's cheap to share you voice but it's probably worth a whole lot to some one else. i enjoyed this poem. -
awesome poem
STRENGTH FILLED POEM KEEP PENNING ,I don't know a lot about these forms of poetry, but looks well formed to me
-
The style of writing used here make it that much better. The last line being simply "storm" awed me. This is an excellen t yet sad write. Thank you for sharing it.
-
Thanks so much for the comments. I very much enjoy the challenge of syllable counting poetry. This was a great contest for me since I use most of the contests that I enter for inspiration. I am a little surprised that more people haven't entered already.
Anyhooo. This was quite fun. Thanks for running it. I look forward to more of them. -
I think you did a brilliant job with this. Nonets are not the easiest sometimes, because of the strict syllable count from beginning to end. I have seen many different ways that they have been written through my years. For your first attempt, I think you did a marvelous job indeed.
~ John
PS: Your syllable count was right now.
-
Your right misguided, i did intend waist. Thanks for bringing it to my attention. The word waste does create an interesting play on words, but I think readers would tend to be distracted by the mispelling more than drawn in by the play on words so I will correct it . Thanks so much for your comments
Edited on Sep 03, 6:46 because 'Caffeine deficiency'. -
Wow, it does paint a vivid picture. I'm assuming you meant waist high, and not waste though. Otherwise, I love it! Especially since this is you first attempt at one. Good work, and great job!
-
Thanks so much for the comments. I did originally refer to them as her possesions, but what struck me was that many of those folks lost even the things they had tried to hang on to to prepare for the storm. I opted to reference worldly possesion more so than personal, because everyone there is in the same possition. There is not much possesion to be had for them at the moment.
-
I am new to most of these forms of poetry But understand the working of this form by reading the work.I do think you have captured the feeling well.I am most impressed with this, and enjoyed reading and learning from its form .Good job well done. Best of luck in the contest
-
Good write. I'm not sure if I would try the Nonet but you did a nice job. The syllable count seems right to me. Do you think the second line would sound better "All her possesions that remain" ? I think this has the same syllable count and may make it flow better. Of course I don't want to help too much in case I come up with an entry (haha) but over all excellent imagery.
Adding your comment:
1 - 22 of 22
6 old applause
