Oh, love they say is king of kings and triumph is his crown
Earth fades in flames before his wings; the sun and moon bow down
This I knew would never do, because heaven's far too high
And when we parted late last night that's why I did not cry
Wading through the tangled thoughts of my wine soaked heart
Will the King be satisfied, or will I come apart?
Never has the will of man endured more doubt and strain
Will Lady Pain earn her name, or does the King still reign?
Gravitating to a sun that surely burns my wings
Like Icarus, ambitiousness has taught my heart to sing
The Lady laughs in mirthless peals, The King steps from his throne
Despite my fears and all my tears, I'll turn my heart to stone
Author notes
Written August 31st, 2005
A contest entry
- ENTER YOUR VERY BEST Part1 by Kasheera.
500 points, ended October 2, 2005, 31 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is just amazing, great use of emotions, and just flawless!, keep up the wonderful job, and I wish you the best of luck
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I like the beautiful and interesting words you've chosen, and the idea of kings and queens is a powerful image.
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forgot this....
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I would never get into the technical stuff, that is just not my thing at all, If I can read it without going HUH? then I think the writer did a great job. Here I as a lay person found the rhyme to flow very well and the choice of wording especially Will Lady Pain earn her name, or does the King still reign?
delicious!!! -
This is an interestingly written piece and requires thought. There are some very beautiful expression here: "...because heaven's..." and "...wine soaked heart" were certainly my favorites.
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Wonderful flow and meter - rhyme to this poem. Not that easy to do and you have given it your all. Great to read.
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*Roars with applause* you freakin owned it!! -robo-
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Ambitiousness is for meter and rhyme. If it were ambition, the proper word in terms of english syntax, the poem would lose the internal rhyme with Icarus and the iambic septameter that flows through the body of the poem. Thank you for watching out for me though.
Edited on Sep 01, 9:46 because 'used a wrong term'. -
i love the way you tie in icarus...a great metaphor of freedom, with closing yourself off...nice turn around that is still very much like a mind works. is ambitiousness for meter or something, i think ambition weould strengthen this poem that has few weaknesses.
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1 - 9 of 9
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