as we whispered soft words of love,
soothing lyrics lovers sing
filling our souls with bliss.
Like liquid they flowed
as cellos played
to lengthen
chords of
love.
Mellow was that night under the moon
as we whispered soft words of love,
soothing lyrics lovers sing
filling our souls with bliss.
Like liquid they flowed
as cellos played
to lengthen
chords of
love.
as we whispered soft words of love,
soothing lyrics lovers sing
filling our souls with bliss.
Like liquid they flowed
as cellos played
to lengthen
chords of
love.
Author notes
Nonet
"Bloempjes bloeien blij"
Written August 29th, 2005
In a list
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Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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The imagery and feeling are both nicely and well conveyed. We feel you have effectively expressed what you wanted your readers to feel and experience within this nicely crafted nonet.
We really appreciate your entry into our contest. We both wish you the best of luck in the contest and all of your writing endeavors.
Larry and Liz
Edited on Jun 20, 11:51 because ''. -
a perfect dreamscape
so romantic,so serene
now i am feeling even more lonely
but anyhell,this is a really good write.
i like the atmosphere you weaved into this.
it has a lulling lucid feel to it.
-cheers -
I think you did a good job with this. The content is good, and the flow is consistent.. though in my opinion you should try not to repeat anything in a nonet, it's too short for that. Like you uses "words of love" and in the end "chords of love".. it's different but still I was like when I finished this poem 'didn't I read that last line before?' It just sounds the same.
Good luck in my contest! `Marjan
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Another beautiful poem. I'm learning about all kinds of form poetry tonite! Your words sing. To be honest, I thought of the Little Mermaid, when Sebastian, the Lobster, tries successfully to get everything around the mermaid and her prince to sing a song filled with subtleties.
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Good job with this piece. If I could make one suggestion that I learned in my cinquain class -- that is to do your best to avoid "-ing" words. In this piece, I'm not sure what you would be able to replace it with... so I guess my suggestion is just for your future writes!
~~~~~
Thank you for sharing this piece, and best of luck in the contest! -
Beautiful! Phenomenal! It's wording and description is perfect. I think you did a great job on this poem! Keep up the fantastic work!
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Lovely nonet, the form worked really well for this description and you managed to really bring the scene alive, powerful and bewtiful writing. My only comment, would be that ending the second line "of love" and then using "of, love" at the end, it lost some of the power that the last line could provide... just my opinion but i would maybe change the second line to "we whispered soft words of passion" because this, getting rid of the "an", would keep the syllable count write and then give the last word "love" more power and conclude the poem. thats just my opinion and please dont think im being negative because i really love this poem and can relate, i think its gorgous and you have a lot of talent. so good luck ! dwy-x
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Hmmm, nice flow, great nonet...I like it. It feels as though I can feel the moonlight music in the background of reading this nonet. Great job...you also created a bit of imagery...great job and good luck in the contest. I know that you will do well!
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soothing lyrics lovers sing
I just love the way that rolls off the tongue. This on the whole is so soft and sweet. Having taken my words and created a snapshot; where the imagery is a bit blurred around the edges, but the reader can see it clearly. Dont know if that made sense, but there you go. Thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck to you.
s and ♥
Willow -
Why do you put a font on black so that we need to highlight to read the poem? It is almost as if you really are not interested in anyone reading or commenting. You used all the words to advantage and had a theme that is almost over used. I realize that nonet is not an easy form. I congradulate you on its form.
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aww that is short but so sweet. It is a good read. keep writeing.
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A lovely way to use these ten words. They fit into this so beautifully. Flows nicely and reads well. Good effort!
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wow what a wonderfully wonderfull poem, and i am not saying that just to be semi-cheesy.. i am in love with the words that you have wrote and i love the form of the poem as well..keep it up!
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I really liked the style of this poem, very short and also very pretty. The physical presentation of the words is stylish. Altogether it just works. Good luck in the contest with this.
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Lovley very good! They should let u win this contest!
Keep in touch,
Blackstar16 -
wow i loved it it was extrememly perfect keep it up i enjoyed reading this it was truly excellent i hope you win your contest best of luck
blessed be -
This was a really good poem... I've never heard of a Nonet before, so I'm not really familiar with the pattern. It seemed very personal, and very emotionally driven. Good luck with the contest.
-T -
Great Nonet poet! I was just checking that form out the other day. You did a great job with it! Great write!
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Great
Hey, this is good. I mean, really good. Have to show my ignorance here, and admit that I have no idea what a nonet is. So that has given me something to go and look up
It will keep me out of trouble I suppose
Great work, keep it up!
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wow taht is really good it has a lot of flow and rhythm!! great write!!!!!!!!!!!! keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and good luck in the contest!
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Yeah, wasn't in the mood for a love poem thingy, but this was ok, you might want to change "Like liquid the flowed" to "Like liquid that flowed"
~Laila~ -
good
beautiful wording, i hope you win the contest. i can't think of any better words, and it made a wonderful poem, too. good job. -
lovely...
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This was with out doubts a beautiful write
I so love what you did with the words.
perfect in every way start to finish
best of luck in the contest
Tears -
excellent~
Beautiful Nonet
Also its nice to meet ya I am trying to think of the right words to enter this contest but so far my muse is blank...Do come visit me and good luck in the contest..This is beautiful
Hugs
Susan~~~
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