"I love you so much," he says.
"You are my night and day,
My reason to live."
But does he mean it?
"But I cannot love you."
No!
"But my love," she pleads,
"Pray tell me why it is so?"
Her pretty face is on the
Verge of hot tears.
It was too good to be true,
She knew that much.
If it weren't for this stupid war!
"If you really love me," she says,
"Then you can forget everyone else!"
The tears run freely now.
"Please!"
He looks into her deep blue eyes.
"I cannot love you, I do not like you,"
He explains, rather harshley.
She is one of them, a vampire! he tells himself.
But her voice, that skin, her warmth...
"You do not understand it," he tries again.
"You take lives without question!
How could I possibly love you?"
But I do...a lot, he tells himself.
What is he talking about?
Why does her accuse her of this?
"No, my love, let me explain!" she cries.
"How is my surviving different from what you do?"
Ouch, low blow, point vampire.
"I don't care that the world hates me,
And neither should you!"
She kissed his hands, and has a point.
"But you should. It is your place."
Uh, oh. Wrong thing to say.
"WHAT?! Since when have you cared
What the world thinks of you?
You are a demon, for the love of Mike!!"
Point 2, vampire.
Why does he have to make a big deal
Out of every little thing? she wonders.
"I love you a lot. But I am the only one."
He feels tears, and holds them back.
Why did a vampire have to be so perfect?
"I am a demon, you are a blood-sucker.
We live in two different worlds."
"I don't care! Do I need to spell it?"
She is so mad her face is not blochy.
"Why did you involve yourself in this bloody war?"
Because he had to, to live amongst his people.
Saving a vampire was enough to get him killed.
Loving one would get him tortured first.
"Here, follow me in here."
She followed him into a little cave.
"What are we doing here?" she askes.
It was barely light enough to see clearly.
She grabs his hand, he grabs her butt.
Oh, she thinks. Thats what we are doing here.
So she goes with it, very readily...
He runs his hands all over her silky skin.
He whispers in her ear, "Do you trust me?"
"More than anything," she whispers back.
He holds her very close, kisses her tenderly,
And he lies her down on a flat boulder.
Kissing her, touching her warmly once more,
He pulls out the wooden stake.
She was thuroghly enjoying all of this,
His perfect hands and lips all over her.
She closed her eyes when she hit the cool rock.
And then it came.
He drove a wooden stake through her heart.
She screamed the most blood-curddling scream
That was ever screamed by anything.
She screamed long and hard, waking things that shouldn't.
As death was pouring over her, her regrets racing,
She saw him one last time, regret everywhere.
She saw the caring, the emotion in him.
Her last, dying thought was:
He does love me.
Her scream was unbearable, glad when it finally ended.
He watched silently and sadly as her body went limp.
He had done it, killed who ment most to him.
He knew what he should do, and what he was to do.
She had always wanted to be buried on a hill,
Overlooking wild plains and a welcome sun.
Thats where he would bury her, tho it would cost him.
But he didn't care. His time left was short.
Once she was burried, he returned home.
Retelling his story, he fingered the poison in his pocket.
We will be together soon enough, he thought.
They flogged him and brutally tortured him.
They slowly drew his blood,
Pinched all of his little wounds.
As they were bringing him to the gallows he drank it.
"Now we may be together in peace," he said,
And dropped down dead, infront of everyone.
Author notes
ok, i said it in the brief, and ill say it again: IF YOU R UNDER 13 DONT READ THIS!!!!!!!!
i dont kno if the steak in the heart really kills vampires, but it sounded good. i hope you enjoy my little demented piece.
Written August 27th, 2005
A contest entry
- Vampires and Demons Alike by Dragonhippie.
300 points, ended September 6, 2005, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Amazing and well written
I really like this and thought you did a good job on it and I like how you made in poem form but turned it into a story, that's a unique touch. It was a cool idea. I like how the demon and the vampire didn't look perfect for each other in the beginning but in the end sounded like they belonged with each other and he wanted to make it so and I like how you made the demoon actually care about the vampire's wishes on who and where she was burried. That was pretty cool. My favorite part has to be:
She was thuroghly enjoying all of this,
His perfect hands and lips all over her.
She closed her eyes when she hit the cool rock.
And then it came.
He drove a wooden stake through her heart.
She screamed the most blood-curddling scream
That was ever screamed by anything.
She screamed long and hard, waking things that shouldn't.
As death was pouring over her, her regrets racing,
She saw him one last time, regret everywhere.
She saw the caring, the emotion in him.
Her last, dying thought was:
He does love me.
It starts out as her enjoying herself and feeling pleasure and love, but then you twisted it and changed it to pain but then twisted it again and said that her last thought was that 'he does love her' when in the middle of it, it sounded like he didn't since he had killed her.
Well I enjyed it and I give you an applause for it. Though yes there were spelling errors and other stuff, I can tell you put thought into this and that's what (in my opinion) cancled the mistakes out. Very well done and keep up th great work.
Great job,
*Tears* -
um, im under 13 and i thought this was really REALLY good.
Lia -
ugh, ok, ill fix em as soon as i have enough free time to (just came on 4 my messages:/).
im trying 2 work on my language, they dont teach as much in skool as they used too
.
and ill see what i can do on the color choice
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It's not perfectionism (I notice you spelt that correctly!), just an appreciation of language. Your writing will always improve if you work on spelling - more people will bother with it. So here goes (in order)
harshly
blotchy
asks
thoroughly
blood-curdling
meant
though
I see you're young: please don't take offence, I'm not trying to patronise you. You've obviously got imagination, but language is important too. While I'm on the subject, you might consider looking up Present and Past Tense, and the rules about using them. Dark red on black is very bad for the eyes! Best Wishes. -
ok, i fixed the mistakes u pointed out. happy?
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i do appreciate your commenting on my piece, but excuse the hell out of me for making some spelling mistakes!! i cna fix the tortured and the stake, but any ideas on blood-curteling? yes, i see how perfectionists can find it annoying, thank you.
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Interesting spelling, especially blood-curteling and torchered. Maybe, though, you should check on steak/stake. The first might be eaten rare, the second might pierce a vampiric heart. You see the problem?
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i like this write more
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uh, thnx. glas u likes it.
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this is very good Mrs shinoda awesome work
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wow applaud applaud!!!
great work me liiiike -
he killed her, but he loved her and did it with regret. thats y they wanted 2 hang him.
and, yeah, he wanted 2 nail her, and she wanted 2 be, but if i did that then id have 2 catogorize it erotica, and i couldnt read my own piece!!
the demon killed the vampire, just so ur clear on that.
if u want to b dissen erotica, go bash on ur own pieces! the best fun i had writing it was that whole scene, and it was a fun write.
i deliberatly made it like a story, but in a poem form. it (to me) seemed a lil more poetic and like something ud tell to ur friends around a fire, or in a myth or something.
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BITCH NO I DIDNT!!!!! i didnt get ANY of it from that!!!! what the hell gave you that idea????
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Why did they want to hang him? He killed the vampire. He was a demon, is that it? A strange story. The vampire would have had sex before she killed, I think.
Your are being a little erotic. Shame on you, but I don't mind. I think you had fun. Did you?
This seemed a little more like a story than a poem. Was that your intention?
Andy -
u got it from vampire kisses but it kicks as$
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my love, really, you are too sweet. you give me more credit than i deserve. tho i am glad that you enjoyed it, all the same
and i am no vampire, simply a mortal living in a fantasy
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This my love is greatly loved my many of both worlds You are this lovly vampire and We all adore you.
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Let me say this. You are an amazing writer.
You have a very very very good chance at winning.
Congrats!! -
oooh...i like it. really...different, and it tells a story in a nice free-form poetic manner. well done.
meg.
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