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Dead Eyes

You betrayed me, and screwed me over
Left me in my pile of filth
You once had care in your heart
But now you look back with dead eyes
You look back with hate I have never seen
Making comments so obscene
Then someone betrayed you
And you did not know what to do
You came to me with tears on your face
Now your hate has been erased
I locked onto you and shook my head
As my heart turns black, and I sigh
I look back at you with dead eyes

Author notes


Written August 26th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • AlysaIsMyNmeURMyGme
    August 31, 2005
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    I really like this and you are a pretty good writer my friend. Your work shows so much feeling! Keep up the great work.

    xoxo~

    !~Alyssa!~

  • rabidgnomes
    August 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    short and sweet

    deep emotional meaning. I especially like the way the poem found it's beat, sort of felt it's way into the reader, slowly but confidently. great write, but it needs to be longer. maybe add some more? your choice. keep up the good work.
    rabid

  • opheliared
    August 30, 2005
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    I can feel the emotion the pain and the hurt. And then the lack of it. Great job!

    <3 ophelia.


  • Your Hine Us
    August 30, 2005
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    Dead eyes wow what power words you used,very good poem and yet it was so sad too .


  • ShatteredSilverStar
    August 30, 2005
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    it sounds like a man once loved you but then took you for granted and was nothing short of being mean as shit. in turn making you feel hopeless and worthless. i have been in a realtionship like that before and the best thing to do is run before it's too late.

  • Rolzwalt
    August 28, 2005
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    Interesting tale of karma. I like its honesty and openness. Its very well written too! Good job.

  • maliaka
    August 28, 2005
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    I like this. It's obviously straight from your heart and very honest.

  • xdontxlabelxmex
    August 28, 2005
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    That poem kicks ass, Keep up the good work!! <3kayla<3

  • Veyri
    August 28, 2005
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    Awesome. Short but powerful, and I would hate to be on the recieving end of this.


  • Raazi
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was a really nice one. Lots of emotions in here. You have written this really well. "Dead Eyes"......awesome. I suggest that you puctuate it as well. I loved these lines-
    Now your hate has been erased
    I locked onto you and shook my head
    As my heart turns black, and I sigh
    I look back at you with dead eyes


  • DrowningInSolitude
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very powerful write !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Very amazing job !!!!!!!!! I loved it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep it up !!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ~Britt~


  • Unique-Rebel85
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was truely an amazing right .. if this is personal .. I know exactly how you feel .. i had a b/f that basically made me the way I am today .. I have no feelings .. or at least the ones I do I try my best to deny and it works .. great job .. deeply felt


  • grannyeri gold member
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Sounds like this is contagious. Keep away - are you saying. A good title for the poem, Well written.

1 - 13 of 13