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A Dream of Helplessness

 

 

In collaboration with SwtAsWine





Part I: His Perspective:
He, the Immortal



 

Her dreams of helplessness recur again, and beckon me.
Tonight the air is cool on her rising and falling bosom;
the breeze from the open window rustles the curtains,
inviting I, who am of the night, in.

 

I? I am the Immortal
who is drawn nearer to her
night after night, stalking,
my spell to paralyze is at the ready;
it is the scent of her lust and blood that draw me in.

 

She is longing, unfulfilled, and vulnerable,
and she exposes herself to the winds of damnation tonight,
so I carry my death to her...

 

I have sensed her from afar these past nights,
her warm, soft, pulsating veins
full of life, and full of her fear…
Shall I begin with a kiss, or just a small bite?
I shall slowly enjoy her before the Bite which takes her,
and ends my evening of fleeting pleasure
as she crosses the threshold into my world...

 

I enter through her open window;
wisps of shadow, excitement and fear precede me…

 

She is asleep, but aware,
in a transcendental state.

 

A victim of her own inherent desires,
she draws the horror that I am into her slumbering chamber
and weaves a dancing dream of death about us.
Eerily drawn in  
I move slowly, so as not to startle her, 
and familiar,
have I visited her countless times before?

 

She? She is a blossomed fantasy
ready to indulge in I, whom she thinks is unreal,
me, the Vampire of the Night!
I burn my phantom desires into her soul,
and begin to taste and consume her worst fears...

 

The first touch, to me, a burst of electrified pain,
to her, awakening a horrendous insatiable thirst,
and like a deadly heat
her uncertain, deluding heartbeat races
and she pulls me in toward her supple deceit...

 

Ripples of her empty emotions and weariness
I blow away
as our desires rage,
then a drop of blood.
Then another.
Then another.
I sensuously follow them, tasting,
each trickling its way further
down into forbidden realms
reserved for me this night-
this moment,
to bind us
here
for eternity...

 

Her feeling of pleasure obscures her pain
as she is caught in the craving of sensations
of my unearthly, perpetual motions,
she moans…
and she yields her last breath, perhaps atoned,
while I take my final taste of her life in my death...

 

I finally have her. She is now my companion.
We wander through the azure night,
and I have built us an elegant coffin for two.

 

 

 

 




 

Part II: Her Perspective:
She, the Yet Living

 


His arrival is a nightly sin drifting upon these tendrils of cool air,
tantalizingly caressing my essence from afar
with his ephemeral touch…
and my dream of helplessness emerges once more…

 

I stir restlessly,
the rise and fall of my breast quickens,
my senses alight
upon the building storm that precedes his presence
which begins to probe deeper into the recesses of my beguiling mind.

 

He will arrive to steal me away from this world
and to become master of my soul,
it is what I now ache for in my dreary existence.

 

Longing,
ever unfulfilled,
and now vulnerable,
I lay exposed to the winds of damnation.
Secretly I yearned to leave this horrid life,
a desire that has now invited the curse of rebirth,
now an apparition at my window;
he is wanted, yet dreadful, nonetheless.

 

He? The immortal, drawn nearer to me
night after night,
hunting, preying on the scent of my lust and warm blood
that eternally taunts him,
the anticipated taste of me beckons him,
mesmerizing his spectral being
by the spell that is cast
by this female form he so desires.

 


The sound of my pulsating veins alone are deafening,
enthralling him,
serenading his wild feast upon my ever sordid fears.
My breath quickens, enticing his eagerness
with unspoken promises
that will prolong our final ephemeral pleasures.
He will ravenously garnish my flesh with his darkened kisses,
my restraint, already crumbled, will abandon me,
and I will find myself spiraling into his realm…

 

A victim of my own innate desires,
my mind glimpses the horror and loses sanity,
weaving a dancing dream of his death,
in which I willingly oblige;
for I have become his blossoming fantasy,
and in my spell indulging in he whom I think is unreal,
my vampire of the night,
whose phantom desires slowly burn into my soul.

 

The first touch, to him, a burst of electrified lightening,
to me it awakens a horrendous insatiable thirst,
and with a deadly sensation of heat
my uncertain, deluded heartbeats races,
I soon encompass us in my supple deceit...

 

Ripples of my long empty emotions and weariness
are in an instant blown away,
and our desires meet in undulating waves of gratification.
As my life withers and my death is nurtured
he is spurred on by the first drop of my blood.
Then another.
Then another.
Curiously at first, then hungrily
he sensuously follows them,
tasting as each trickles down,
down, closely followed by his immortal tongue
and cold breath…

 


Trying to respond I find myself helpless and weak
under his strong and sensuously enthralling mysticism;
helpless, and he has his way with me.


He has been on my scent for so long
that upon his first taste he became a feral beast.
Nature renders my body defenseless to his passion,
and my mind a void to all but his sensations.
I cannot fight both nature and he.
He has become unstoppable
until his hunger is satisfied.
I am left completely raw and spent
by his supernaturally endowed carnal appetite,
yet I sense that I will be soon victorious...


My feelings of pleasure obscure the pain.
I am caught in the craving numbness
of his unearthly perpetual motion;
then a moan, and I yield my last breath.
He savors his final taste of my life
in his accepted offer of death
that I have finally come to fulfill.

 


I am now his companion, perhaps atoned,
and I have captured him using my womanly wiles.
We wander through the azure night together,
and he has built us an elegant coffin for two.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

The story leaves one wondering who has captured who...

Written August 26th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 41 of 41

  • Malabu
    August 30, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I love these type writings...the sad thing is I'm always unprepared and have no soda or popcorn to dilute the mystery and the blood of love and gore......death with a love notion is something I’m not always readied to read...I hold my breath in anticipations...it soften the blow to my ever-loving heart for the tenderness of loves triumph and not to its resolve...Pretty imaginative and progressive writing....is this a setting for a play? Movie? All in all it was delightful reading.... thanks for sharing...
    Malabu


  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks ~granny~
    I would like to think we inspire and draw forth quite a bit from one another
    Thanks for reading and commenting


  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks Duana
    I couldn't agree more


  • duana
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing. Without the enchanting hypnotic background I think it would have been too long to read- this poem shows how important the background is to any piece and how much it really adds to it.


  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Ms. G! Glad to give you a break away from your group IM's! lol
    wbiro


  • grannyeri gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You two have written an awesome two companion poems here. One written first and the other followed from that. Quite a nice feat. Enjoyed the read.

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Reenie! and long time no contact! When things settle down on my end I'll repay a visit to your works! As for vampires, well, SetAsWine desired one, so I said 'I'll get right to work'!
    wbiro

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Now that is truly a high honor, Ms. Angels! I must come and visit your page to see just who it is who was so enthralled by our yet unrefined piece here!

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    thanks you, zee, for it is always a challenge to draw in a reader with a few good stanzas and then keep them enthralled throughout- I am glad to see we are getting there on this one! Comment appreciated!

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Carissa, to take the reader slowly through every aspect of the encounter, through the heart and psyche, is the goal here, and I'm glad it captured you thus!
    wbiro

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Mr. R, for giving us a new dimension to work on besides length! (saying more!) A famous author said 'If it can be said in fewer words, do it!' More work needed here, perhaps! So your comment is valued!


  • cherche -d -ame
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I agree that it is rather lengthy , but I cannot see that it could have been told in fewr words. The story is a good one ( please note I am not that much into vampire stuff) never the less this kept my interest , and I like the twist to it( both seeming to think that they were the one in control) I wish you the very best in this contest , there is no doubt that a lot of thought and work was put into this write
    Reenie


  • MaryJaneWatson
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    AMAZING!!!

    This is truly incredible. My newspaper editor spent 20 minutes trying to get me out of the trance this put me in.

  • zee1
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I was taken by surprise by the length - its tough to hold my attention so I usually avoid long pieces. This is a well written piece with good imagery - good story.

  • Carissa
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is truly an incredible read. You entrance me with every word. I liked how you repeated phrases with each persons thinking. Generally I lose interest when reading long pieces of work but you captured me throughout the entire write!
    Great Job!! Good luck in the contest~!


  • Bartholomew Mole
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This needed a length-health warning on it. Too long for what it has to say which is not very much at all, really.

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the clear comment, Mr. Dark! Strong as it could have been- now there is something to continue to strive for here!


  • after-dark
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Good write here. A very good post that had feeling and enough of it to keep it strong from start to finish. It worked very well even if not as strong as it could have been.. Regardless it was well written and very good post.

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You have given perhaps the most valuable comment of all- for 'losing the reader's attention' is the last problem to be tackled in any piece- and you have shown that we should not sit back and rest with our editing yet! So an applause for you, Albus!


  • Raazi
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hmmmmmm..........bit long! Lost my attention sometimes.......okay, it was good. Nice imagery and good job otherwise.

  • wbiro gold member
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Ms. Sky! Yes, story, maybe, but it is my intention to have it too 'poetic' for that! (so I still have some work to do!)
    appreciated!


  • PurpleSky
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Dang that was long perhapes putting it under a story catagory would be more apropriate. However this was an awsome write full of wonderful imagry and a great story you told. thanks for sharing and good luck.
    huggles
    ~Lena~

  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks so much for your kind words as this has been one of much debate
    An enjoyable debate I might add
    Once again your words are encouraging and always greatly welcomed and appreciated
    Best wishes always to you
    -G
    Edited on Aug 28, 11:50 p.m. because ''.


  • Touchof1der silver member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    WoW! I stand in awe of the amazing talent that flows the length and width of this page. You two have created a masterpiece of the most exquisite kind. This is simply stunning!! This is going to be one hard act for anyone to follow. You two made a great team. Love you both!! Good luck.
    (`'•.¸(`'•.¸ ¤ ¸.•'´)¸.•'´)
    ~~~Touchof1der~~~
    (, .•'(¸.•'´ ¤ `'•.¸)`'•.¸)


  • wbiro gold member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, Az, back to my vacation- vacation of the heart!
    be back soon!


  • B Chandler
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    And onto this weary Immortal,
    ?I? degree all things
    to be shown some
    kind of iridescent
    cadence;forlorned
    moments just tread
    every so lightly
    across the unbalanced
    chest

    ...hope u win
    Rae
    Edited on Aug 28, 11:29 p.m. because 'add line'.


  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    As her drawn lines of imagery have the same impact

  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    *looks around*
    Like the background
    well the narrowing version gave it more pause as it slowed the reader down making for the female counterpart to be more sensual
    Than again that is just my whistful thinking
    I think either way we have done a smashing job
    Edited on Aug 28, 10:59 p.m. because ''.

  • wbiro gold member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, I am sure not done with this one, I was even wondering about your 'short line' version (less words per line), and why you liked that... I was assuming it was a 'first read' thing, or maybe 'femme' thing... so I'm still not decided about the wide stanzas vs. narrow yet!

  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Our 'Dance of Revision' continues
    So far no toe stepping
    I am most happy with the direction and outcome this has taken on and have posted a revising copy to my own page
    I also created a handy dandy link there to permit easy navigation
    Either way it has been a heck of an enjoyable ride
    Thanks for all you have and will surely continue to inspire
    Edited on Aug 28, 10:25 p.m. because ''.

  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thnaks so much for your vote of 'yea'
    As both Wbiro and I are quite prudent I am sure this will yet undergo countless revising
    Best Wishes
    -G


  • Methodic Breakdown
    August 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    We have a winner!

    Great work on this one, both of you! I could really feel this piece. You used the words on the list very well, and they weren't cramped together, as if you were rushing to get them out of the way. Congratualtions on this work of literary art. I won't be surprised when you win this contest. Great work, and good luck...as if you need it!
    ~Robert


  • wbiro gold member
    August 27, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Note- all above comments were addressed to a version that had the vampire as a 'he'. 'He' is now 'I'!!!!!!

  • wbiro gold member
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Moon, that is a truly high honor, a bravo! from you! Yes, sometimes collaborations can take a piece beyond that which either party is capable of!
    happy collaborating AP dad!


  • Celticmoon
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    applauds

    BRAVO!

    You both have done a fabulous job with this piece.
    I LOVE IT! Two talents combining and together creating a masterpiece....you can't beat that!

    BRAVO!!!!!

    Blessings
    celticmoon


  • wbiro gold member
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes, during our last astral projection you sent them to me, I remember!

  • wbiro gold member
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Porcelain, for continuing to grace my works with your saving expert eye! Yes, build, built, that's what happens during editing when 'tenses' are changed and mind is tired! When things settle down around here I've thought about a date where we go around critiquing poems together... yea, crazy idea, but I'm innovative, and I think we'd be competitive!
    daydreamer!

  • wbiro gold member
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, my SexyAngel! Hope it drew you in! Thanks for the luck, too!
    Gramps, with lots of cheese and chocolate!


  • Porcelain Doll
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Vampires... ah, im obsessed with them -_-' This is just wonderful! It drew me in and held me captive until the very last line... and that's where I found this: "She becomes his companion, wandering through the azure night,
    and they have build an elegant coffin for two." They have built.

    Right then... damn this is amazing o.o I love it... I'm bookmarking it. Write on ^.^
    ~Amy


  • FallingSideways silver member
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    you already know my thoughts

    -G


  • SexyAngel0418
    August 26, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    WOW... This is an awesome poem Gramps!!! Ya'll did a great job on this poem!!! I absolutely love it!!!

    Hugs,
    Beth

    PS Good luck in the contest!!!

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