The sun sprayed her hair with shine.
As she fell to the earth in her encumbrance.
Her soul lifting through the clouds.
Her pain ending in the moment.
The moment her sadness from his love ended her.
In the day of sorrow and cold.
He doesn’t know he must say good-bye.
His mother doesn’t know she is the reason.
She doesn’t know it was her fault.
For when she took him away, she took his love.
One long-distance call,
And his tears shed for the first time.
Finding out like this, knowing it could’ve been stopped.
Cursing his mother and taking his life.
To be with the one that was truly his better side.
For everything, they were alike.
Two weeks to come and two weeks after.
This true love was planted and destroyed.
And their sin was selfish enough,
to condemn them to eternity in Hell.
On the same day, they were buried.
Together as they were meant.
Prayers can’t help them now.
Just as long as they spend their torment together.
Some say love is the greatest thing, to that I say is an opinion.
A contest entry
- Extreme (for 800 points) by mynameisnoone.
800 points, ended December 15, 2005, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by xorandomxo.
600 points, ended March 29, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter All Your Love Writes Here! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended March 8, 2008, 306 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I don't know whether this to me is love, or sadness. I'll get back to you on this. This made me feel kind of delicate and yet very upset at the same time. Mixture, I think, of emotions.
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this was a good poem.
liked the last line.
thanks for entering.
good luck.
unbreakable♥ -
I thought this poem was all right, the last line was a little dissapointing, I think it could have been put more elequently or something. It was decent, it made the point it needed to make. I just wasn't feeling it. It didn't make me think or feel anything. It is just here. It was hard for me to get into it.
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cool
um that is really cool but ya um goosd luck
jessy -
really cool poem, it reminds me of Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe, shows how powerful love can be to some extent, like in Annabel Lee, she died from pnomonia and the guy couldnt live without her, so he sat with her as she died, and died along side of her...i guess he starved himself, but couldnt live without annable lee. its a really awsome poem, you should read it if you havnt already.
i really liked this poem, great for the contest!
good luck:
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wow i really really like this i love just love emotion and that is wat u gave me thanx for entering it was awesome please thou write in ur author nnotes what choice
thanx again awesome poem
aimee
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