driving home in the solitude,
in the clouded aftermath of you-
uninviting pavement curves slowly into endless miles,
the road’s black body is as enigmatic as it is eternal.
stars above have let loose all their gilded promises.
their pale, lumen light-
fractured
in the emptiness of night,
and i’m beginning to believe there are
moments in darkness
no one can leave behind.
the hours are drifting restlessly
like ashes falling from your cigarettes.
the grey, ember-less minutes--debris collecting on my sleeve,
and i will drive along this highway until i find an ending to you,
i will drive until i’ve paid the price for letting you go.
Author notes
i've not been writing much, so here is an attempt.
Written August 25th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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It's unfortunate that you no longer come to AllPoetry. It's hard to find good poets to read and I think you are one. If you ever return and post anything, send me a link to it, I'll gladly read it...if I am still on AP, lol
There is this sadness and melancholy but in the end, an understanding of what has happened and a knowledge that the price, while steep, maybe had to be paid, even if there is a depth of regret in it. -
this is very calming and i loved to read it. romantic as well.
-Cassie -
I really like this. You have a lot of good, creative images and wordplay, and the emotion is strong. I may be inspired to write, and if so I will enter your contest. I'm glad to read whether I enter or not.
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A grand attempt! This is filled with melancholy sentiments. Your use of the road as a metaphor is stellar. You've described a long ride with great clarity. Very nicely written indeed. A sad but lovely concrete poem.
Renee
Edited on Sep 03, 9:38 p.m. because 'corrected spelling!
'.
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I randomly decided to read some of your work, because your name intrigued me. (I'm assuming it's from the book) Anyway... this was very emotional, very vivid, and very honest. It made me remember times in my life where letting go had it's benefits... but was difficult nonetheless. My favorite lines are:
the hours are drifting restlessly
like ashes falling from your cigarettes.
the grey, ember-less minutes--debris collecting on my sleeve"
Simply beautiful. I'll have to read more of your work. Great job.
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this is one of my absolute favorites I have read by you. I adored every word, every line, just all of it from start to finish.
the imagery painted by your word choices was quite enjoyable.
beautifully done and expressed,
Lea -
Touching
Do we ever really let someone go?..or do they just fade from memory..I enjoyed this quiet comparison between the blackness of night to the darkness of loss. Nicely written
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Keenly Expressive.
I like this poem. (It reminds me of a movie I am very very fond of, but not in the way the poem's message is meant.) Anyway, I thought this was a fine-wrought piece. I am not particularly inclined to pieces with 'undisciplined text', but I must say you pulled yours off very very well. The position of the text actually contributes to the fragmented nature of the words. The couplets have rich, rich emotions crammed into them. Its a wonder how heavy the speaker's heart is, to be able to relate his profound sadness to very simple objects: the stars, the road and cigarettes. I love how you've employed those particular objects--they're more than "backgrounders" when I read them. Sure they can be significant in their own light, esp. stars, but I think you've gone and made them something special in your poem.
On a lighter note, I kind of felt that whoever is driving in that poem must have extreme self-control not to be crashing his car on the side of the road. O.o -
Seems very sad. I've done this though.Driven I mean to clear something or someone from my thoughts.I feel you expressed you thoughts well in the piece.~~Suseann
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