I'm coming my little princess
your time is at an end.
You have no where to go
all your friends are dead.
I slit all their throats,
and hung them out to dry
with blood on their clothes
and tears in their eyes.
I'm coming my little princess
for your prince will not arrive,
he's laying on his bathroom floor
fighting to stay alive.
He told me not to hurt you
but take his life instead,
Before i could promise anything,
he was already dead.
I'm here my little princess,
your time is at an end.
You have no place to go,
and you too will be dead.
I'll slit your throat
and leave you on the floor.
By the time they find you,
your life will be no more.
Author notes
"So Long and Good Night"
Written August 25th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Dark World by Shadow Rule.
300 points, ended February 24, 2006, 31 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Terrify me..... by SignifyingNothing.
750 points, ended March 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me All You've Got (Winner Takes All) by hey charlie.
300 points, ended May 3, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TwIsTeD by InMyFlames.
650 points, ended October 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Xx~A Twist In Rhyme~xX by Raven of Iniquity.
900 points, ended July 2, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Ahahaha!!!
I think I just fell in love with this piece! This was something that...I don't know it just blew my mind. This is definitely what I'm looking for. Something that was written to perfection. I thank you eternally for this entry and wish you good luck.
"I'm coming my little princess
for your prince will not arrive,
he's laying on his bathroom floor
fighting to stay alive."
And this...these lines...brilliant!
Good luck my friend,
~Raven -
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thank you for your awesome comment. i really dont know what inspired this piece. i just remember freaking myself out with my own words....talk about creepy...muwhahahahah.....!!!!!!
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"I slit all their throats,
and hung them out to dry
with blood on their clothes
and tears in their eyes."
amazing lol i love the crudness
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AAHHHHHH! You are now my hero! This had to be one of the coolest poems I've ever read in my life. Thanks for entering and rocking my contest.
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Wow what a dark piece! At first I thought you were going to write of your daughter but I was mistaken! And didn't expect the end great job write on!
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As Dead Star said, definitely no fairy tale! Somehow the nice background goes well with the poem, and makes it even more horrific! I liked the rhyme scheme, and the emotional impact was very real in this poem. It was one of the better 'killer' poems I received in this contest.
Nice job and thanks for entering! -
......scary..... but i still like this! kinda like how you made the princess die as well, that way theres no fairy tale!
lylas
abused
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thank you very much for your wonderful comment. i really appriciate it. i would love to be on your favorites list. ill add you to mine and i will certainly look into your work. thanks again, i dont think ive ever gotten a comment like that before. usually there is something wrong with the poem or they dont like it. i get some who like it, but not many. especially this one. i scare everybody with it. i acutally won a contest with this poem and im very proud of it. i cant thank you enough for you wonderful comment. it really means a lot to me.
Disturbedmess
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you know some of these times i will have come across a piece of somebodys work just like yours and it just blows me right away..it is incandescent..it is radiant...ignore whatever comments people may give you and really try and develop yours talents because you have a gift..beleive me you have a gift...and it needs to be norished much like a small article of plant life....much like a small infant freshly brone from his mothers breast will need to be nurtured..you are that child....and what a splendid grownup you shall make of yourself ohhhh yess you will be one of the finest poets in the whole of western world i bask in your very honour and radiance......could i be permitted to bask more and more perhaps by placing you my very special upon my list of incredible favourites...yes? no.....? who is to say maybe i am the one that will converse with you sometimes and maybe sometimes you will converse with me who knows and who will ever knoe today or tommorow or even next ta ta to you my special cherished dearylop
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WoW...that in one of the most cynical dark things I have ever read. Good job!
Good luck in the contest, as if you will need it.
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ARGH SCARY!!*hides under table*
that was great...im not really into scary poems...but this was excellent
luv
rACHEy -
That is amazing. REALLY amazing. I know i don't come on much any more but you're still one of my favourite poets on the site. I love your style. Keep writing like this its brilliant.
xxxxx -
WOW... This poem was wicked awesome
I LOVE IT!!!! this was an amazingly dark write well done
my favorite part was:
"He told me not to hurt you
but take his life instead,
Before i could promise anything,
he was already dead."
well that sucks for him dosent it i think this is such an amazing write because it is full of so much dark emotion just acheing to come out
well again this was an amazing write
keep up the good work
vampiry julianna
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creatively tempting
simple perfection ..it makes me want to continue to try and write a bit darker..inspirational!!!!!
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very beautiful in its own dark way and very taunting i loved these lines "I'm here my little princess,
your time is at an end."they were very powerfull it flowed together well good write
- a lost and forgotton muse
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wow, a very taunting and scary poem. I especially liked the part about the little prince begging for the life of his princess, it made the poem almost sweet in a haunting way.
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very good
This is really sad, but I liked it.x-nOtyourStaR-o that your rhymes are perfect and that the background does add a kind of twist to the write. very well writen! -
damn....
this should be a fairytale story lol -
I thought that this was an amazing write hun, and I loved your background it's so twisted with the write that it makes it just that much darker. Your rhymes were perfectly chosen as well as every line. You added so much visual affects allowing the reader to picture scene happening. I imagined a guy walking around with a knife looking for the girl that's running trying to get away (all the killers just seem to walk lol) and he corners her and then slits her throat. Astonishing job hun, I hope you place!! Keep writing, -Heather
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ooh, i liked this, it rhymed and it was so good..very very nice job. not much i can say except bravo!
<3shelby -
very good, I like the darkness
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you could prolly do that to me to, but dont worry i wouldnt try to kill you, at least not yet
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lol, anyone could ocme in my room and kill me, I can sleep through everything, so it won't be that hard!
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hmmm, ill find a way
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lol that's alright....hmmmmm....yes I see your point I have to sleep sometime, I'll sleep with one eye open!
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i could be right behind watching your every move, stalking you, you have to sleep sometimes, sorry, j/k haha
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lol well I see....maybe I should start watchimg for you! You are welcome by the way for the applauses. And don't worry about the points I have nothing to use them for, and it seemed like you needed them!
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hey, you never know!!! muwhahahaha!!! j/k, hopefully ill do good in the contest, so far ive scared everyone who has read it. so thats good.thank you so much for commented, i really appriciate it and all the applauses. best of luck to you in my contest
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wow....awesome! If your were my killer I would definetley be scared lol, wait...MAYBE YOU ARE MY KILLER!!!!!!!!! lol sorry j/k andyway I really liked it and you were very descriptive, good luck in the contest!
Andrea -
thank you so much for you comment and applause, i love you so much lil zoe
love
aunt mandy -
wow
wow! this was... creepy it gave me shivers! wow! i amactually like scared! by a poem! thats really good i like especially the stanza about the prince fighting to stay alive i loved that bit twas wicked!
Great write aunt mandy love u loads
Ur lil neice ME!
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