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Grim Repast - Sonnet #30

Missing image

 

Instinctive drones, these men you have lured on,
That sipped your beauty like a bitter wine.
And now when tender arms no more entwine,
Are you the one that whispers, "now, be gone?"

 

So what of this debris your love has wrought
That clutters pathways that the brave have trod?
Is now your beck and call a calloused nod,
And is their anguished pleading all for naught?

 

In darkened shadows that your life has cast,
They gather there, those hurt and bleeding souls.
The conscience that you somehow cast aside
Devoured them, a dark and grim repast.
All those who played your conjured lover’s roles,
Those willful ones you’ve found you can’t abide.

Author notes

Kind of dark for a sonnet but what the heck! And Petrarchan's aren't my favorite but thought I'd try this one using that form. Had the idea for the spider after I wrote it - didn't use the word in the poem, but perhaps it's the way the female black widow operates. Just a thought. All comments and criticisms welcome.
Written August 25th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • jacbgd2 gold member
    July 29, 2008

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    BRAVO!!!  BRAVO!!!! BRAVO!!! This was lovely read with a very vivid picture painting through words!!!!! I enjoyed this read very much!!!!!!!!!


  • Anfractuous
    January 25, 2008
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    Lovely. Great inspiration for my assignment.


  • devils muse
    September 7, 2005
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    very beautifull(i would write more but it is very late)


  • Mephitic ID Synergy gold member
    August 31, 2005
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    That's an interesting picture you paint. She is contemptious of the men she is able to attract, so in a stroke of irony she is as entrapped as they are, in a cycle of unsatisfactory lovers. The picture of the black widow is somewhat fitting, but then I'm not sure that it is her nature to do this, as it is for the black widow, as much as it is her fate for the choices she has made in how she loves.

    Mike


  • Paranoid Disaster
    August 31, 2005
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    I really enjoyed this, a lot. Very powerful description.


  • Sanya
    August 30, 2005
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    excellent

    You seem to be the modern day Shakespeare. Indeed you have surpassed his sonnets. Great job!! It is extremely difficult to write a poem on such a theme as spiders. You work has truly inspired me as a begginer in the field of poetry. I simply loved the rhyme scheme and your words are really effective and powerful.
    I just used to write poems about common happenings and things- about which most do but you have given me the insight to go beyond.........
    excellent!!
    Thank you!!

  • Bronwen Eckstein
    August 30, 2005
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    Perfect

    Perfect sonnet. It's clear that one can write poetry on anything, if one's good enough. Surprising theme, but effective.


  • AureateCorona
    August 28, 2005
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    i feel like i've just had deja vu... like i've read this before... from you... this same poem... and i said the same thing... about how its a little darker than your usual sonnets... have i read this before?.... hmmm... :-/

  • AureateCorona
    August 28, 2005
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    woah daddy... i like this a lot... it is rather darker than what you normoal sonnet about but it is beautiful and powerful... it has a presence like humidity at night... dark and thick and warm... its so heavy that i think i held my breath for the whole last stanza... you did superbly!

  • bigzepplin
    August 28, 2005
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    wow i like writings like this... very cool.. very deep.. good job... bravo.


  • Aurielle
    August 27, 2005
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    wow realy good talented


  • SexyAngel0418
    August 26, 2005
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    WOW... This is an awesome poem Grampa!!! You did a great job on this one!!! I really like it!!! It is definately dark but I love spiders!!! LOL

    Hugs,
    Beth


  • abernaith
    August 25, 2005
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    You raise the standard of sonnets for me really high, and I am glad that I can draw inspiration from these amazing works. I have yet to write my first sonnet, and yet, reading yours, I am driven to strive for excellence and nothing less. I am thankful for this, and will have it no other way. Thank you


  • M.A.King
    August 25, 2005
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    Ah, you got me with this one! I love dark content for sonnets. This eerie subject was unexpected and wonderfully enticing. Fantastic images. And your form and meter are always skillfully worked. A striking piece.


  • B Chandler
    August 25, 2005
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    in all honesty ive never thought that ud be the type to do a dark write but can clearly see that ur a better writer than i am but its the learning that comes out on top hey perhaps u might like to try a style from one of my columns..whos to say. anyways the structure of this is well excuted and now i sit envious of u
    keep up the good work
    Rae


  • SuZyCuE
    August 25, 2005
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    This is a little dark compared to your usual poems, but as usal it is great. Who ever thought the black widow would be a topic of a sonnet lol But as usual your poem is incredible. Shows your talent reaches beyond the usual happy, love poems. An expert in all topics


  • Gatlianne
    August 25, 2005
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    right on, right on

1 - 17 of 17