I stand by nearly whitewashed walls
And listen to their mockery
They simply cannot look this way
And see the beauty that may be.
Creeping insulted in the void,
And listening to blasphemy,
Can they not see the man inside -
The man whose heart may still yet bleed?
I stand by bloodstaind hands are theirs
And listen to their murdering
They kill me with their seething glance
Determined not to let me be.
Standing somber in the crowd,
And like the wall, they can't see me
I'm screaming in my lost dark mind
Like drums of time, pounding, pounding
I stand by dirty blackened walls,
The charred remains of travesty
And like the nearly whitewashed walls,
I fade simply to charred nothing
Author notes
For the Contest: I am simply protesting. I think it was originally inspired by transsexual problems in school, but it could be about anything!
-Arias' Son
Written August 24th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I really like this. And I notice it was written the day before my birthday, haha. Just thought I'd throw that out there ; ).
But I reallyl agree with what you've written. My interpretation is that somebody (maybe you, maybe not)has been criticized or made fun of because of their sexual orientation. Or lack therof. And I am so much for human rights for everybody. There isn't a thing in this poem I wouldn't change.
I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
Peace and love
------Connor
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Well, more gender identity. Thank you for commenting!
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I just reread my comment. I said "There's not a thing in this poem I wouldn't change". I said that wrong. I meant "There's not a thing I WOULD change". haha, sorry about that.
And yes, I understand it now.
It's still a beautiful poem, nontheless.
Peace and love
-------Connor
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Oh. Well it does rhyme. It rhymes every other line beginning with the second.
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its not a good or bad thing, just in your author comments you say that it does, and i was confused by it thats all
Illiterate Iguana -
Is it not seeming to rhyme a good or bad thing?
-EA -
I haven't noticed any rhyming. The poem for me sounded like you fall into the background what ever it may be (Just to be sad I have to mention a lizard) like a chameleon. You use of language I found was a little eccentric. Nice work I really love your descriptions and images.
Illiterate Iguana
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Thanks for entering my contest. Really great write. I love expression NEARLY WHITEWASHED WALLS!! really great write.
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Congratulations on winning bronze with this poem.
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There was great flow in the words here. I really like it. Also, It fits the choice all the better because there are countless "groups" of people getting judged and hurt. Great job!
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Mankinds fascination with the trappings of power will often make them oblivious or ignorant of anything which they do not need for their own world of false living, something which is not chic will not interest them, people will ignore charity unless it is chic to give to that particular one, we live on fals hopes and false ideals which is why charities use actors, pop stars and other 'personalities' to promote their work as they know people will give not because of the work done by the charity but because their idol says it is a good place to give a little of what you earn, they will see the news coverage of this disaster or that disaster but ignore it until it is the in thing to give. well done. Thank you for entering the contest I really appreciate it.
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This was really sad. But it had the truth in it and that you don't find too often in poems. You summed this up well with the last couple of lines and overall this was very well written. Everyone has felt like this in one point of their lives and you really left me wondering.....
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Now thats not much of a critical comment now is it Poetress? Try saying WHY you dont like it, instead of that its just you. Im not meaning to sound nasty... See where it says "A critical review is invited" ?
Anyways.. now to the criticality... Im not really sure what to say. Its good, its got rhythm and its definately got meaning, but its seems like its missing something.. I cant place it.
Edited on Aug 31 because 'Typos'. -
iight
I see wot Elphess is talking bout but i still don't rlly like it....dats just me though -
Hm. I love reading poetry aloud. It makes it more real. Thank you for the commet. I actually have time to return the favor for once.
-Arias' Son -
Fantastic
Whoa.
This is really intense and I know I'm probably not coming away from this with the intended view, but I love what you wrote. And I'm not a sugar-coater either. The way you wrote this piece and for some reason the rhythm that I felt while reading it aloud (because I'm a geek and that's what I do at 3 am) really worked.
I liked the title too. It brings to me the thought that nothing can be purly white in all manners of that sense.
Excellent job on this one. I hope others enjoy it as much as I did.
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