Don't Lose Me

This is a message to all people who know me as me.

Didn't you say I was perfect?
Didn't I return the favor?
I never said it would be forever
But I never thought it wouldn't last
I just went along with you
I trusted you.
I'm not as childlike as I make myself out to be.
I'm not as grown up as you think I am.
I'll change this year.
In your absence, will we grow apart?
I wish for contentment
I wish for staying power.
I wish all the fake people would just go away
I wish the ignorant would just shut up.
I wish you would learn.
I hope I can teach you.
I hope all is not lost when things return to normal.
Hope is what I've got.
What have you got?
Maybe you can share it with me.
Maybe I'm not worthy
Maybe I am.
Maybe I deserve a second chance
Or a third.
I want people to stay with me forever
I want forgiveness
I want permission.
I don't always get what I want.
But I usually get what I deserve.
What are my convictions?
What is my punishment?
What will you sentence me to this time?