Our Love is Like a Madman
Our love is like a madman
on a roller coaster ride.
The ups and downs are killing
our passions deep inside.
How sad but true these words are,
with such agonizing pain.
But I'd give all to rewind,
and go through it all again.
The hope of hearts salvation,
and yet to set it free,
is more than I can wish for,
and cannot come to be.
My heart is caught by your love,
your eyes bewitch my breath.
I'm stuck with you forever
until the realm of death.
But even when in heaven
it has but just begun.
I guess it's God's good humour,
at least He had some fun.
© Jim T. Henriksen
August 23rd, 2005
Author notes
This poem got 2nd place in Albus2's contest "Enter if you dare! ..." 
Written August 23rd, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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Yeah, my wife says I'm good too...
(Back at ya!) Thanks for the comment and the applause, Linda!
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lol its cool
wow that was delayd
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Sorry, I forgot.
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hey even good in romance wow! you are good Jim!! just joking.. this is a lovely piece good rhymn throughout the poem enjoyed it..Linda
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this was very good, I like this one good work alot of thought and well worth it
good luck dont forget a second entery
Mortikie -
Thank you, Yuna, glad you like my poem. I guess there's a bit morbid humor in this.
And thanks for the applause!
Edited on Sep 14, 3:42 because ''. -
This is great! This is so different and I love how you illustrated with a rollercoaster ride with the ups and downs. It certainly makes it more real. Plus the mixture of darkness and light heartedness is amazing and I love it. Great poem!
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Yup, thanks again, Albus!
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Starhiker wrote this poem for my contest....he really did well and got a silver trophy for this.
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Thanks, itsjustme. Great you liked it, even if it was a bit of a different love-poem.
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Thanks for your comment, buffy. I appreciated you calling me a magician!
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Yeah, using the roller coaster bit was clever. Well done. It's nice to hear a new outlook on love, I've always been a sucker for love poems, I must admit. Well done, keep it up.
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Magical
Clever use of words and love the imagery of the roller coaster as this is just what love is ,passionate and taking us to unknown highs and lows.Will we fall off or stay for the ride.And yes out comes the Madness in all of us as loving you more means hating myself less.Mystical and there is always that magician like quality in your poems as if you are conjuring up a new trick to blind the audience with. -
Thanks, Dr P, I appreciate your comment, and your applause!
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nice rhyms and you kept the tempo all the way through not an easy thing, you are definatly talented. I particularly liked comparing love to a rollercoaster because its so true.
Rae V -
Thanks for your lengthy critique, David. I try my best to avoid clichés, and using same rhymes as in my other poems, but sometimes they sneak in anyway. I will try harder in the future.
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Although metred correctly the poems that I have read could actually be smoother in the style you are writing in. They are very cliched in their wording and very straighforward in their structure. You can tend to have one or the other but if you wrap a clich in a formal structure, the chances are you are going to have a poem that sounds the same as every other poem. So while it sounds nice, it also sounds the same. This could have been really special and I would look for not just the unpredictible rhyme, much more importantly I would look how you have chosen your words through the line to elevate it off the page a little more and seperate it from the large ocean of sameness that it is currently floating in.
David
PS this same critique can easily be applied to the other two poems that I read -
Thanks, Di. It's amazing how it sometimes just comes naturally, with rhyme and rythm. Thanks for the interpetation of the poem.
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Appreciate it...
Oh, sorry, my enlish isn't perfect by a far shot... Thanks for the correction, I'll fix it right away. -
Hi, this poem brought two sentiments to me , one, a love that
is wild and wonderful, second that touch of tongue in cheek humour that I found enchanting, lovely flow, great feel, I liked everything about this write,great, hugs Di -
Well, I don't know if you are using a dialect of english I am not accustomed to but "I'd" is short for "I would" in American and Canadian english, and I'm pretty certain UK english as well. According to dictionary.com I find "I'd" as
" 1. Contraction of I had.
2. Contraction of I would.
"
But I'ld does not show up at all.
cheers! -
Thanks, davidz. About the "typo", I'm not sure what you mean... "I'ld" is short for "I would". Anything else?
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Thanks, aslan, but this poem has only won one trophy (so far). The other trophy (first one I got) was for Decree Nisi. Take a look at that one, and tell me your opinion.
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Thanks for the congratulations, Joyce! Too bad you didn't win anything... Here's a rose as compensation.
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"But I'ld give all to rewind"
I think you have a typo in that line. -
Funny. I like poems which make fun of God. The ultimate prankster.
Congrats on the trophy! -
Silver trophy..... good for you!!! if you ever vist my page thats all i know how to win .... lol this is a wonderful poem. I love how you toss in the god humor...that was great....LOL. Reminds me of that song the lyrics are.."I think god has a sick sence of humor and when I die, I expect to find him laughing." at the moment i cant remember what band sings it. anyway wonderful write. oh and Congratulations!
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Awesome, it seems you got two silver trophies for this one then. That just shouts that it's an amazing poem. Congratulations!
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Kudos!!!
Jim, Congratulations on your trophy...it is great. I knew you deserved one for this. I had told you in my previous comment how well written this was and I meant it. Whoooooo hooooo!!!!!
Great job and keep penning...
Joyce
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Wow, two comments on the same poem? Thanks!
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I loved this it was really nice to read and the rythm made it stunning to read!!!!! I loved hoe wyou played with the words in this poem well done!!!!
Maria
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Thank you, lencio, your praise warms my heart. Too bad it didn't win gold trophy though...
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Congratulations on winning the silver. This was what i felt would be in the winning list. Great piece, worthy of a win!
Love and light,
Lencio
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Thank you, suzeecue, for a great comment. Yes, love IS a rollercoaster ride, and if you don't hold a firm grip (on your loved one), the loops may throw you off...
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This is a great poem, I especially like the first stanza where you compare love to a roller coaster ride, because love is exactly that, filled with ups and downs, and every once in a while love throws you a loop lol. Great write
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Lencio, I'm glad Albus2 gets many entries to the contest. I hope this poem wins too! And you're welcome...
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Thanks, Buffy. Your comments are always welcome, and you manage to get the point of my poems almost every time! Lyrical quality? Don't know about that, though... But please tell me, how is it possible for you to promote my poem?
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The entries to this contest are really getting out of hand I must say. This is yet another amazing entry. Truly beautiful and I am sure Albus is going to have a real tough time choosing the winners!
This is straight from the heart as can be seen, and thanks for sharing it,
Love and light,
Lencio
Edited on Aug 24, 2:54 because ''. -
Fabulous!
Witty and romantic ,a clever combination.Yes love is Heaven and Hell in which madmen only may dwell. you have done an awesome job Starhiker,good flowand there is a lyrical quality which is rather beautiful.This will be a strong contender in the Contest! i can only applaud you for the moment as am out of points but will be back to promote this awesomw work.Glad you are back on the scene! -
Thank you, Albus2, I'm honored by your words. I merely tried to make a poem that would win for sure...
LOL!
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Well done!
Really well done. Dunno what to say.....cool flow, nice metaphors and AWESOME lyrics. Too good! -
Thanks, Joyce. Can you imagine ME writing directly in AP, not penning it down and correcting myself countless times first?! Thanks for the applause!
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Excellent work!!!
Jim, Excellent work you have penned here. I especially loved the roller coaster ride. Comparing love to an amusement park ride is perfect. Awesome poem to go along with an awesome contest. Your words flowed throughout this making it a great read that I totally enjoyed. I love the feeling you put into it. I'm a sucker for love, but I consider that a good quality. Best wishes in the contest and thank you so much for sharing this lovely work with us.
Joyce
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Thanks, Becca! Those last lines were in fact what I had most problem getting right, but with your comment, not knowing to laugh or be sad, I know I got just what I aimed for.
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Thanks, Maria, I knew you'ld like it...
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This is really good for just putting all of the categories together. they really all flow nicely. I really enjoyed the last couple of lines:
"But even when in heaven
it has but just begun
I guess it's God's good humor
atleast He had some fun".
I didnt know to be sad or laugh.
anyways you did a great job and keep up the good work!
Becca
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Interesting poem I loved the rhyming and the beat was cool, well done!!!!
Maria
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