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Peeking through your window

Missing image



I stand here a shattered shell of a man as I watch you lay there next to him

HIM, a man that does not deserve to be in your very presence

I see your porcelain skin shimmering through the moonlit window

Standing here with my heart completely broken as I watch him as he touches you

Tears now run down my cheeks as I think back to what we could have had

The blood in my veins now runs as cold as ice

How could you fall into his arms like you did and so easily

Did you not realize how much I was in love with you

I become sick to my stomach as I watch him as he enters you

Fog now covers the window as my breath becomes deep

Not immediately aware of the fact that I was touching myself

How I ache for you to be the one stroking it

You pass by my window each and everyday

Sometimes I can time it just right and be coming out of my door

In the hopes to hear you say hello in a friendly passing

But you do not even know that I exist

You never have even glanced in my direction

Even though we have endured many obstacles my love for you continued to grow

The first time that I had seen you, you were walking home from school

I followed you all the way home you did not know that I was even there

You were to busy laughing and joking with your girlfriends

Awe what a beautiful butterfly you were you stood out from the rest

Oh how I wanted you then… I would stand out side of your window and watch you

Images of your faerie wings spread wide open before me

Thoughts of my face being nestled between your young thighs

Sometimes the daydreams were so intense that they made my head whirl

And thought that maybe you would see me standing there as I masturbated

The thought deeply intrigued me so

Though wanting you so badly I kept my distance

But now you have crossed me by giving yourself to him

You will pay… you must pay

No matter what you belong to me

I leave now to make my plans… I will return and make you mine



Author notes


Please let me add before you all think I am mentally disturbed this was written for a contest and that is all! I am not like what is portrayed here at all!

But also I want this to be a gentle yet effective peice of material to make you think of your surroundings at all times... there are a lot of sick and disturbed people out there that do this very thing... always watch out for yourself, do not depend on others to always be there to do it for you! This happened to me as a young girl... who knows how long he watched me before someone caught him!




Written August 22nd, 2005

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 53 of 53
  • Dennis Pickering
    July 23, 2007

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    Glad it was for a contest. Can't say that I hope you won - just too disgusting of a write with disgusting images portrayed.

  • Anthony Myriad
    October 20, 2005
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    I know this feeling and really did see it in your words. So penetrating a write. Tony.

  • misticmoonlite gold member
    October 19, 2005
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    wow this was so entense,great job you deserved gold! keep doing the great works and you will be on top my friend ..keep penning, Linda


  • simply-lovely
    September 23, 2005
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    I read every poem in my contest and yours seemed to stick out. For some reason it was the one i was looking for. You made it seem like I was right there watching and feeling the things the man was feeling. I read that you are a massage therapist.. When i get out of high school that is what I am going to collage for. well i just wanted to say congrats on winning first place.!


  • Kukana gold member
    September 6, 2005
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    Thank you vbstar4 for the wonderful comment... thinking of making it into a story (further down the road...)

    S~


  • vbstar4
    September 6, 2005
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    Wow this was amazing, you really made me feel like I was there watching the entire thing unfold. You expressed his emotions so well, and even though you made this man a psychotic, you also created a gentle side ... A brilliant write. Now all you need is a part 2 so we know if the girl survives... Thanks for the comment on my poem. Best of luck in the contest.
    -Jen-


  • Kukana gold member
    September 1, 2005
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    Thank you Immortal Flesh... sick but intriguing to wonder what they are thinking or what makes them think in this way... what started them in motion... thank you for reading commenting and applauding

    S~


  • Immortal Flesh
    September 1, 2005
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    oh please....a contest? HA yea sure...
    hey whats wrong with being mental? I see nothing wrong with it.
    Thats why i keep coming back to this asylum. You get free shock treatments from the sexy nurses and I get these happy pills n stuff. Anyway, Don't worry about anything!! I won't tell anyone that your padded room is right next to mine shhh its our secret.......hey,....is this text going to be public? oh cripes!!!
    Um,....hehehe....I make joke!!! hahaha .....um,....
    Anyway,
    This is definitely in the dark category. and you are right, it can be a story as you suggested. The mind of these stalkers, or even serial killers is a place of intrigue indeed. and yes I know they are sick, and its evil, but, Their motives and how they came to be is very interesting. this is why I read alot of crime books, its my favorite reading material.
    It sounds to me, like you have done some research, because let me tell ya, you have painted quite a dark picture here.
    I give this demented serial minded poetic write a fat applause!!


  • Kukana gold member
    August 31, 2005
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    Thank you dark Soul I appreciate the time you took to read and comment on my poem as well!

    S~
    Edited on Sep 05, 8:41 p.m. because ''.


  • Scorpions Kiss
    August 31, 2005
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    this is outstanding i loved it its very powerful good luck


  • Feel So Numb
    August 26, 2005
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    this is deffinatly an awsome poem.wonderful job.


  • August 25, 2005
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    i thought that was you.


  • Kukana gold member
    August 24, 2005
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    Thank you so much for taking the time to read, comment and applaud this poem... though it is not really anyone cup of tea a topic I thought needed to be addressed...

    Thanks again your comments mean a lot to me

    S~

  • Mickie27
    August 24, 2005
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    This was kind of strange and scary all at the same time it was an excellent written piece though and very deep with thoughts and feelings. This is just so amazing to read and though I wouldn't normally choose to read this the intensity of this poem amazed me. Your talent just shines right through.


  • Kukana gold member
    August 24, 2005
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    I am so glad that this got under your skin... I just wanted for people to be more aware of their surroundings at all times... thank you for reading, the applaud and comment...

    S~


  • insecure princess
    August 24, 2005
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    AMAZING!

    You have GREAT talent.
    You made him sound SO real, you had me on the end of my computer chair (and I admti, checking my window every 2 seconds, I am glad I have some one here with me tonight!)

    Keep up the WONDERFUL work!!!

    Good luck in the contest!!!

    ~ ~:jade:~ ~


  • Kukana gold member
    August 24, 2005
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    Thank you Jennifer for reading my poem and commenting! Yes this is exactly what Mr. V warns about... so many think that it will never happen to them but it does no one and I mean NO ONE is safe from this kind of behavior. Thanks again and be safe!

    S~


  • Kukana gold member
    August 24, 2005
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    Thank you for coming by to read and leave such an awesome comment on my poem! I really means a lot to me!

    S~


  • Kukana gold member
    August 24, 2005
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    Thank you Tree Hitter for coming to read my poem / story and for leaving a great comment. I think that it leaves you with a sense of the creeps but will make you more aware of what is out there.

    S~


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Thank you for reading my work and leaving such a supporting comment... I really appreciate you giving me the time to do so!

    S~

  • Fionawords
    August 23, 2005
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    this reminds me of phantom of the opera. Not that the Phantom ever actually did this, just the possessive nature of the voice of the poem and everything. I think you did a great job in telling this story, and the fact that people are saying it's creepy and disturbing only serves to prove that you are excellent at manipulating the emotions of your audience. great work.


  • jenelda silver member
    August 23, 2005
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    well, this was pretty scary and it had me enthralled, you really made him sound real, and she is unaware of being stalked, OMG I know this happens all the time and it is scary, I'm glad you explained it was just for a contest and that you're not like that. this is the type of thing Mr V tries to warn the group about. There really are a lot of sick people out there. Very, very, well written. You have amazing talent,
    Jennifer


  • Malabu
    August 23, 2005
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    this is such a great writing....however I see no beauty in it...just the beauty of the writing.....It supposed to reflect beauty and sad....this is just a well you know...sad sorta demonistic thought....loved it just the same....
    Malabu


  • ceXee
    August 23, 2005
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    it wasnt really disterbing to me, alot of men fantasize but those who are like that should try harder to get what they want and not wade in the waters. gl in he contest!


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Wow! I really liked your comment WOW... sorry couldn't help my self... hehehehe

    Thanks for commenting and reading my work I really appreciate it and will return the favor!

    S~


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Thanks Rob for reading, commenting and giving me some support! It is not easy to write such a peice without many misunderstanding the true meaning...

    S~

  • Kadaj
    August 23, 2005
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    great

    this poem is AWESOME, great imagery, even if it is disturbed and creepy...i like it.sound like a really demented stalker..."no matter what you belong to me", that was great.


  • LadyUnique silver member
    August 23, 2005
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    this is definitely chilling because it's so realistic. it's like you've gotten into the head of a stalker?potential killer showing how the thought process is warped. a bit graphic perhaps... for this poem it's almost necessary to be realistic. good job on this!
    ladies... close your windows at night... even on the 22nd floor... there are telescopes out there


  • Flightless Raven
    August 23, 2005
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    This was quite an entrhalling piece.. the drivenness of the character in this work was almost scarey, but when you are as insane as me, nothing much is scary anymore..... keep up the good work.... i might read some more later.


  • Dances With Trees
    August 23, 2005
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    Amazing!

    WOW!! This story was so interesting!! Not many people write about this kind of thing so this poem is definately unique!! I think that you wrote this piece beautifully! You didn't drone on and on, it kept my attention the whole way through!! Incredible job!! The best of luck to you in the contest, even though I am sure you will win!!
    Lisa

  • cafe0lait
    August 23, 2005
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    When I saw the title of the poem I thought it would be more provocative and sexy. It is a good poem but it is some what frightful. Maybe that is the response you wanted. If so, it is excellent. Aside from that...it is very well written


  • Sylvyrwyng gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Am not sure whether to be afraid or aroused. This is an excellently written poem with some VERY dark aspects to it. It makes me wonder what exactly was on your mind when you wrote it. Scary but great!

  • dEaRaMbELLiNa
    August 23, 2005
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    This is a good piece, it almost seems as if it really did happen to you... I guess you mean for the narrator to be a villain, but you've done a nice job of making the reader feel slightly sympathetic towards him as well, towards the pain he feels within his disturbed mind. Great write!


  • Jadestone Doll
    August 23, 2005
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    omg this piece sounds so naughty and forbidden. I mean even though the main character in this poem is hurt by this woman being with someone else, he still continues to watch and pleasure his own self. What a concept


  • xSallyxDollx
    August 23, 2005
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    Holy shit this is disturbing!! If the contest is for creepiness you win!! But serioulsy all things aside this is a really good poem and good luck in the contest!


  • WhatShouldUsBe
    August 23, 2005
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    WOW! That was brilliant! I mean it was like a baseline for a physco homicide movie! I mean it had great imagery I could see everything dancing through my mind just as your words danced across the page! Like I mean WOW! I don't know a better word for this then WOW! I mean this is wow byond all wows possible! You did a brilliant absolutley brilliant job! WOW! OK before I just burst out in a string of WOWS I should go! This was a wonderful piece and I congratulaute it on it and hope it did well in the contest! Keeo on writing these wonderful beautiful exceelent poems!!!!!


  • ab intra
    August 23, 2005
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    A+!

    This is a great poem! I see that you've entered this piece into a contest. Well, looking ta your work, it DEFINITELY fits in the 'Beautiful and Dark Imagery' category. Good job, and good luck in that contest! I'd say you've got pretty good chances!!!
    ~Rob


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Awe nice comment now if you would re-read the ending he takes the fantasing to the next step as he states:

    I leave now to make my plans… I will return and make you mine

    Now this is where it could be taken to that next level as you talked about in your comment...

    Great comment and thanks so much for reading!!!!

    S~


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    This was really good and more than a bit creepy. I have been in that place before, not the peeping tom part, but the general emotion of the piece. Real nice work and the picture add to the general feel of the poem as well. Great Job. -Al

  • rvh1956
    August 23, 2005
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    Good but controversial

    The poem was good and I think what the message within was an all consuming desire to be completed by someone. Also the reaction to the 'perverse behaviour' was a bit much there is a difference between perverted and sociopathic behaviour. Note here that there was never any actual physical contact and the subject was mostly fantasizing, whereas a sociopath would probably have ended up abducting and making the other person fulfill the fantasy. Wishing something were so and acting on it are 2 different things and voyuerism and autoeroticism in and of themself aren't truly perverted just not accepted as the norm.

    Think I need to read more of these please tell me how to get there.


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    yes indeed suseann it does make you stop and think... now if my bedroom curtains are just a little bit open I make sure that they are closed tight... it is a deeply creepy feeling to know you have been watched... thank you for tha applause and commenting!

    Always~

    S~

  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Thank you so much for reading this peice and for the comment

    S~

  • misticmoonlite gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    good job

    THIS IS DEEEEP!! thanks for sharing this great write with us! AP friend Linda


  • Fearless Leader
    August 23, 2005
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    Gawsh, leave her Johnny, o leave her!

  • rozz669
    August 23, 2005
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    this was brutally and honestly amazing- awesome!


  • suseann
    August 23, 2005
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    If as a young woman or girl you had this person .no pervert who was found out and caught.It would indeed make your mind race through what devious thoughts went through the perverts mind.Someone like that,is not to be pityed,but removed from society for mental treatment.And kept isolated for the rest of their demented life.Great story.~~~Suseann


  • epitaph-macabre
    August 23, 2005
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    lease let me add before you all think I am mentally disturbed lol i love the side note. i think you did very good appearing disturbed.


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    Thank you for reading and commenting... yes very disturbing but it is doing what I had set out for it to do... maybe through this poem you will take note of who may be watching and when and to look around to see if anyone happens to be following you... a story to make you think

    S~

  • Esperanza
    August 23, 2005
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    At first I was really disturbed, and then I read your replies to the comments and I felt better. This really is a great poem. You really have talent. Nice descriptive. Great write good luck in the contest.
    (...OH...now I get the picture). Nice picture at the top by the way.


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    This was written just for the contest and believe me that is all! Growing up we had a peeping tom that looked into my room and was caught (thank goodness) yes I agree very sick... gave me the creeps writing it... thanks for reading and commenting

    S~


  • August 23, 2005
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    Well written but disturbing

    As a girl I find that incredibly sick. Following someone around and touching yourself does NOT make them want to screw you. You're a good poet and I respect your writing, but I found that poem seriously disturbing. Good style of writing, but that is sort of a sick way to admire someone.


  • Kukana gold member
    August 23, 2005
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    thank you fallen-angel-fern this is a great contest and a wonderful challenge... good luck to you judging this there are so many great enteries... thank you for reading and commenting on my poem it means a lot

    S~


  • d a f f o d i l
    August 23, 2005
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    arghhhhhh this was definaly dark! arghhhhhhhh! lol the is was really deep and yet really sad too i like the balance of beauty with darkness...well done and good luck. thanks for entering.

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