And now a special dedication on a very special day.
Annie are you listening to what I have to say.
Your husband he has written from somewhere over-seas.
And the words he has written are ones that will please.
He's safe and he's happy, near the end of his tour.
He's looking forward to seeing his lovely bride once more.
And to celebrate your Birthday this is the tune he wants for you.
The one you sung together before he joined the boys in Navy blue.
Annie hears the words and the music in the air.
Coming from the radio by her lonely rocking chair.
The memory still clear though her eyes are growing dim.
And she tries to forget that she hasn't plugged it in.
Author notes
Written August 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Me A Poem by CarolDesjarlais.
300 points, ended August 23, 2005, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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I'd forgotten this one
Thanks for reminding me. I'm glad you liked it.
Jim -
Very Poignant
Like this one VERY much. Reminds me of my beloved grandmother. -
Thanks as always for checking my work. Glad you liked it.
Jim S -
I wish I had wrote this , a wonderful touching write , a brilliant story captured in a few short lines.
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Thanks for taking the time to read and write. Your comments are much appreciated.
Jim S -
Thanks for that glowing tribute. The organiser had different ideas though.
So be it.
As for the punctuation I see where the confusion lies. I believe in the convention that if you're writing 'literary' English, it's permissible to omit the question mark after a rhetorical question.
As this was "over the radio" it has to be rhetorical because the announcer couldn't expect an answer.
Hey I teach maths I can't be expected to know good English as well.
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Okay, well after all it is your poem, but the thing that bothered me mostly was the beginning where you put a period instead of a question mark...that's all. I really did love this poem though, and I thought that you would win! I was shocked when you didn't.
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Great Job
Hey I didn't see this one in the contest, I just read it for the first time, it is very good! I would have commented had I seen it, glad you Im'd me, glad to have found another whose work I enjoy, I am a rhymer too! -
Thanks Rose.
Jim S -
Thanks for your comment Legend.
Yes, I too decided that she knew what she was doing. Sometimes it's good to live in a different world for a while.
Jim S -
Thanks for reading and writing Slip. We'll have to disagree about the punctuation because it is as I think it should be for the way I say it in my head. I know I could have put quotation marks for speech but I feel you were meaning something else.
Who knows, maybe that's why I didn't win. But I still like it.
Anyway thanks for the comment it is nice to know what people dislike as well as what they like.
Jim S -
memories is the richness of ones soul. good luck.
Rose -
Jim this is another poem I dearly love.Love needs not the music, it produces its own.Me thinks Annie knows this and so leaves out the plug Great job ,and yes I loved the finish even though i see things with Annies' eyes
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Oh, that was so sad and wonderful. I mean, at the end, I really got goosebumps reading it. Very well done, and very, very, touching. The only thing I would say is to fix the puncuation, because the continuous lines took away from the shock and beauty of this poem. Great, fantastically sad write and good luck.
~Slip~ -
Thanks for your comments Jason. They are appreciated.
Jim S -
Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you liked it.
Jim S -
shewolfnative is right. This is a very good piece and draw the reader right to the endfor the final twist. Keep it up Jim. Good luck in your contest and have a blessed day.
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Oh, what a great write. This is very good and draws the reader right to the end for the final twist.
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Thanks for your comments.
Jim S -
Old memories.....how they haunt us all the time.
Sometimes the ghosts of old lovers past still hold their former strength and can hurt us if we are not careful.
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