Dear Mandy,
Beware my child
for there are things that you must know
there are problems around every corner
and everywhere you go.
When you've only reached
the age of six
watch out for the babysitter
he'll want to show you his dick.
He'll rape you and molest you
and there is nothing you can do
you'll try to tell your parents
im sorry, but they won't believe you.
By the time that you
have turned sixteen
you'll think that suicide
sounds like a dream.
You'll be upset
and sad all the time
and then you'll start cutting
wishing you weren't alive.
Just before
you turn seventeen
you will be stalked
by the guy down the street.
He'll keep calling
and wanting you to go there
and he'll walk into your room
while you're dressing and stare.
Beware my child
you shouldn't be treated this way
i was messed with and torn up
you should laugh, sing, and play.
Love,
Amanda
Author notes
this is a letter to my younger self, telling them to be careful and what is to come if they follow my footsteps
Written August 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Write a poem/letter to your younger self... by Daniela Violin.
300 points, ended August 23, 2005, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Buried Treasure Chest- ( CONTEST ) by Acidanthra.
800 points, ended October 27, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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its great! ::hug:: its an assome way to get that out and it came out so sad and dark. like a note written that you wish you recieved when you were younger.
lylas
Sarah -
GREAT!
OMG!! i love this! it's so sad! i feel SO bad for you!! this is SO well written, i love the letter form! great write!! keep up the good work!!
xox
Silently Screaming -
Beautiful, in a dark, morbid way.
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wow, very dark and powerful, an excellent write. keep up the good work
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heartfelt
this experience could be anyones..I know it takes courage to write like this -
wow, such powerful messages and it says a lot about what you have been through in your lifetime. Stay Strong Sis
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as sad as it was, it was really good. its upsetting that its all true, and that your parents didnt believe you. good job
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wow. that was great. it was extremly honest and told about things that really happen all the time. i like to see that.
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realism at its finest keep up the good work but i will say what drew me in about this write was that it was like ur future self stepped back and had a conversation with the wee u
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im trying to figure out a way to dye my hair, but i dont know how to do it with out her stoping me,
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I KNOW!! mymom freaked when I dyed my hair
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im the same way, im in love with anything black, i drive my mom crazy with it!!! BLACK IS AWESOME!!!
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lol he has no idea how much I've changed, before you know all that happened I was his little girl, now I'm in love with black, black hair, clothes everything. He has no idea
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thats true, i wouldnt want to give him that kinda of satisfaction either
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yeah, I get through it though. And when I get the idea I realize that it's just not worth it. I'm not giving him the satisfaction of knowing he won
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im really sorry that happened to you and your sister, thats a horrible thing to go through, im surprised sometimes that i havent killed myself yet
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That really sucks, and don't worry that they didn't like it, I loved it! wow....sorry that happened to you! If I worte a letter to myself I would end of killing myself, my childhood wasn't that great either, my dad molested my sister and had been in jail since I was 7, but still I loved the poem!
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thanks for you commenting, and im sorry to say that this is all true. it was for a contest, we had to write to our younger selves telling them what they will have to go through and what they should watch out for. unfortunatly, the host of the contest, didnt like it, but o well, but yea everything that happened in that letter in true. im still 17, so the most recent one, only happened a couple of months ago
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This wa amazing, and sorry to ask this, but did this all really happen? I really liked this, I couldn't imagine half the things my letter would say to myself.....but I loved it none the less. You did a great job and good luck in the contest! Keep your chin up, cutting isn't the way....
Andrea -
this is an awesome write i must say. love the ending, its so true. you are very talented cause you got me to read the whole poem, which i never do usually. well done and keep up the good write.
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Umm, I found this pretty flat and unemotive. Also there are words missing in some places.
"and there nothing you can do" (missing "is")
"while you dressing and stares" (missing "are")
"you will stalked" (missing "be")
Next time remember to edit your work before posting. Thanks for entering and good luck!
Edited on Aug 23, 11:00 because ''. -
Bravo
This is a lot better than the first draft. The emotions are much more vibrant and the poem keeps you attached through to the end. Well done and bravo on this enhanced write. -
wow that was really emotional and good and I loved the ending! Good job that was amazing
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Mandy,
Alright I have to agree with Kill Me Quick. This is a lot better than the first. More eye catching, more emotion that captures the reader, and more imagery within every line. You added deeper images and more description to your lines. Also, you made it rhyme. Your ending I have to say was astonishing, the lines fit together so perfectly, and the whole meaning all together was astonishing. I feel you've accomplished a lot more with this write than the first time around. Good job hun, I loved it immensely. -Heather -
even better than before
Ok this is better than the first! i love the way you write you are soo talented i am gonna applaud again cos this deserves it!
Beware my child
you shouldn't be treated this way
i was messed with and torn up
you should laugh, sing, and play.
thats the best ending i have ever read... well done!
Oh and you have me on your authors page
hehe i am honoured put one of my works on there and i will do the same on mine of your work probably this one actually cos i love it soooo much
great write auntie!
Love Ya Zoe xxx
xxx
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i was wondering if you would reread it for me, i changed it around, so i want to know what you think now... please
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thanks for your comment, i know i have to fix it, its needs a lot of help. it needs more emotion, but i have a really bad writers block and nothing is comming to me, if you have any ideas, let me know. love ya hun
DM -
Amanda,
I thought that this was an amazing write, I've seen these contest around where you write a letter to yourself to tell them how things will be. Or how to cope with things and to warn them about hardships that will come along the way. They always seem like they are so hard to write, something that takes a lot out of you to put down on paper and share with the world.
You did an amazing job, like usual hun. It was deep (not as deep as it could of been) but still deep and told the truth from your soul. It's hard when you go through things as a young child and don't really know how to cope with it. If only these letters could actually be sent back to the past and warn us before it happened to save all of our heartache and despair. Great job hun, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Keep writing, -Heather -
awww hun thats dark i hope u r ok now i have been through the same and its made us stronger (im a skitz so us is me)
Anyhow i liked this really cool well done
Love ya loads auntie mandy
You lil neice
Zoe xxx xxx
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Not very impressive
This was. . . different. However, I didn't really feel much emotion coming from this piece, and you misspelled "seduced." All in all, I commend you for creating something different, but it just didn't hold me and make me want to really read it.
With a sword of hope and a pen of darkness,
Sir Dakkon
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