Days grow longer as this gets harder
Bags and luggage clutter our house
Leaving our home because you’re a dreamer
You want the whole world, I won't barter
The For Sale sign still hangs outside
Days grow longer as this gets harder
You are my world and that makes me stronger
Holding your weight like airy pounds
Leaving our home because you’re a dreamer
Follow your dreams and I'll be your solider
Tell me all your needs, I won't frown
Days grow longer as this gets harder
Going to Cali to be an actor
Soon you'll drawl in big movie crowds
Leaving our home because your a dreamer
Just remember I'm your lover
And I'll stand with you till the sun drowns
Days grow longer and this gets harder
Leaving our home because you’re a dreamer
Author notes
Another one for my Rhyme class. This poem is in Villanelle form.
Written August 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
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Ah! Good job with the villanelle. They are much harder to do than people realize. The tale here is interesting. Often people must choose between their hearts yearning and complacency. I think it's probably best to follow your dreams even if they don't work out the way you think they will. At least you won't be caught up in the "what could have beens" later in life.
The voice in the poem seems a bit more reserved in action, and a bit afraid of change. This is normal. Yet, she follows her lover and stands by him. This is admirable.
Nice tale.
peace-
Toltec warrior -
villanelle's are extremely hard to write, if i'm not mistaken. i should applaude that feat alone, but i won't go by just that because i really enjoyed this tale you've woven so vividly.
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outstanding
hello poet ...you have excellent choice in word use...this has a great flow to it and the reader gets good imagery...love dream poems...well done my friend...larry -
Who ever ends up with you would be a lucky man. I still like the way you write your poems and good job.
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outstanding, right on target
remines me of all the times. when i was young. and we left maybe because our folks where dreamers. and i've dreamt a few times myself. but never had that one stand beside me til the sun went down. very good neice.
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Yes, dreaming is often what it takes to make things happen...my motto is 'take time to dream....for dreams are the reality of our future'. Without them....and a plan.... we may not get far. However there's a time for dreaming and a time for doing, we need to capture the balance.
A good write, Leanna, I know there's a name for this form of poetry but can't remember what it is...I'm terrible with form types, except maybe for freeform and haiku....I know.. I should make a point of learning and retaining this information. You did very well with this one.
In the first line of the second stanza, do you mean 'barter' instead of 'baurder'? and in the last line of the second to last stanza, you left the 'r' off of dreamer.
Love and
Grandma
Edited on Aug 21, 11:56 because ''.
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