Once, a long time ago,
In a land so far away,
A dream, a dream, of love,
Maybe not so long ago
And maybe not so far away.
Maybe there were no dragons
For the knight in shining armor
To slay and save the maiden from.
Or maybe there was a dragon,
But that maiden, she slayed him herself.
Upon the back of a golden steed
She galloped off into sunsets warm,
Her sword shining at her side.
And maybe there was a time and place
For you and me to be as one,
Sitting on the steps going down
Breathing in the morning air.
The sky was dark, the crowds had thinned,
But the two of us were awake and alive.
Maybe there was a time and a place,
Maybe there was a dream, a dream,
A time when conversation was lively,
A time when we couldn't get enough.
Never a touch, a hug, or a kiss,
But always an understanding, one soul.
Maybe there was a time when you were the knight
And you brought down the dragon to land at my feet.
But now I ride off on a golden steed,
My sword shining at my side
And a thousand dragons dead at my hand,
Leaving you there with your armor tarnished
And your ego smaller than a tear of my eye.
Author notes
Not sure where this came from... it just came.
Written August 20th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Free Verse Slaves by BeautifulChaos.
400 points, ended October 2, 2005, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
I enjoyed this. I love how you had the woman coming out stronger than the man in the end, when we're supposed to be so used to the man "rescuing" us. Great write. Good luck.
-Becky -
Nice!!! Girl power all the way! I like how she slays the dragon herself and rides off into the sunset as the knight stands there, a day late and a dollar short in tarnished armor.
I'd do something to separate the "a dream"s in the line "A dream a dream, of love," so that the reader doesn't think you've mistyped or are stuttering. Perhaps a comma is in order?
The major thing I have to say is that although your message and tone and all that jazz aren't "cookie cutter", you do use some cookie cutter phrases, like "knight in shining armor" and "crowds had thinned". But perhaps you meant to do that to emphasize the fact that you are breaking the cliche.
Great write, big sis!!!
Kyla -
AMAZING! I'm like...speechless, which is WEIIIIRD for me, the last line is really awesome it just blue me away.
I can tell it "just came" because it wasn't forced, it just flowed, and it wasn't cookie cutter perfect which made it wonderful to read. This is so..wow. Keep writing!
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