Do you want to go to the zoo?
To watch caged animals act cuckoo
I bet we’ll see an elephant and zebra
Dancing the cha cha cha
Let’s go to the city zoo
I hope we’ll see a giraffe and a lion too
They’ll be parading around all happy
Concealing the fact that imprisonment is rather crappy
Grab your children and rush to the zoo
Watch them smile at a hopping kangaroo
Don’t let them stand to close to the cage
We really don’t need to enrage
These deranged animals
Before they lynch your mammal
Do you still want to go to the zoo?
I do, some genuine fun is long overdue
Author notes
Hmm this was kinda my first attempt to write a humor poem. I hope you like it and think it is a bit funny LOL.
Critiques are so welcome
Love D.L.
Written August 3rd, 2005
A contest entry
- Cynical? Why wait, have a snicker. by Byepolar bare.
600 points, ended March 2, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Such a unique poem with a message, wonderful job. I loved it.
-
haha. I am reminded of Simon and Garfunkel's "at the zoo" by the title...this one is just as funny, but a little bit darker. Is that what you were intending?
-
-
I did not intend for a dark poem when I started it, it just ended up that way.
Love D.L.
-
-
lol nice
i love how you switch the veiws from what socity sees to what reality is and how it does so closely stare them in the face but they are blind huh? must be. nice right it made me laugh. good write.
-
i enjoyed the read
This was a good piece. I can kind of see a little bit of cynicism in this. A little bit of flow seemed to be compromised, but that was okay in and of itself. -
I can see the humour in this, very subtle done, well written with a lot of thought.
-
I think this was a brilliantly written and I laughed while reading it..you did an awsome job on this poem and the back ground made me laugh my ass off even harder.thank you for letting me read you work..
-
Thanks for teh comment. I like contradictions. The background was meant to be depressed compared to the poem, but thanks for the suggestion anyway.
-
I think its quite good for a first try! Only suggestion I have is maybe change the background, its a bit depressing for a happy poem
Just a suggestion though. This is really sweet, it brings back memories from when I was younger...I used to love the zoo and would love it everytime we went. My favourite part has to be (I dont usually do this 
):
"They’ll be parading around all happy
Concealing the fact that imprisonment is rather crappy"
That one made me smile! Thanks for the laughs & grins. You did a nice job on this one. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing!
Take care
~Lana
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
