she works, framed by his crisp shirts
hanging behind her – reminders of both
his mastery and her servitude
she has poked-up cinders gone dry -
trying to stoke a fire that only burns low
at its best, and always smokes
she grinds the ingredients for making his favorite
cold mint tea – seeking to appease the angles of displeasure
she always sees on his face these days, since old age has mangled hers
she pushes around the bruised and aromatic leaves she has
gathered and finely ground in her bowl –
unholy urges to add foxglove florets to the mix
have been mastered, yet again
the old woman prepares his tisane
from the crushed ingredients she holds –
beholds a glimmering of truth deep
within the roiling water as it boils
she has soiled her best dress and apron
with her years of efforts on his behalf,
knowing they’d never be enough.
Author notes
Inspired by the picture and shewolfnative's contest requirements. Thanks for the inspiration.
Written August 19th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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this is extreme in its self contained malevolence and patience combined. a very feminine poem - which of us hasn't wanted to add the ground glass or digitalis at some time or another??!!
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Excellent!
Wow, this is one of the best poems I have read on this forum. I really love the way you showed me the story, not just told me about it. Well done! -
Good
Now I didn't read 'angles of displeasure' as a typo - I thought it was brilliant, real clever and, for me, one of the best parts of the poem. It's such a 'different' way of looking at it or rather expressing it. For me this was one of the most striking illusions. Just shows that whatever we write is nothing until read or misread; once it's out there it's the reader who creates or recreates. Great poem, sorry about the waffle. -
I see a typo in L2 S3, angles should be angels I suppose. I like some of descriptions, images and allusions, but then it is too telly telly at this stage...
D -
Thanks
This is wonderful ... great narrative of the pic & very well crafted ... a pleasure to read -
This is very sad. This is a wonderfully written poem. This poem has a very nice flow. great write!
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This is my second read of this piece which read more like a prose than free versed poetry but I am very old school. Your choice of words leaves little for the imagination with the picture so vividly portrayed by your wording. You must have the artist eye for you saw what I was blind to. Bravo, to you!
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AWESOME,I will say no more
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mabye one more promo will take this over the top
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Richard, thank you so very much for the wondrously kind words and the applause and the sponsorship that earned my poem so many readings! I am humbled by your praise. Sometimes, I work very hard at a poem, and sometimes - when the wind is blowing from the east...just so...and the stars align just perfectly - a poem is born almost effortlessly. This was one of those easy births. I thank Shewolfnative for that. Her inspiration seemed to have touched off the pyre perfectly.
I will, however, congratulate myself on my choice of friends. I have a wonderful talent for picking the most amazing folks, donchano. Now, that's a real accomplishment!
Thank you. You made my day....when I really needed it, too.
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Wow, this is really a picture painted of how my grandfather's generation ran being from a small farming community in rural canada. I have observed the pain a woman goes through in this kind of situation and it lessens my manhood. A beautiful depiction of a horrible tragedy. -
This is really good. I love the topic. It's so refreshing to read something different. Beautiful. Keep it up!
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it is sad how sometimes someone's work is unapprieciated..but I'm sure that is not going to be the case with this poem..for I apprieciated it in all it's glory..keep it up ~Rush
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wonderful write
its a very beautiful write.very sad but so beautiful at the same time. lovely. -
very beautiful poem...it is a splendid write i must say...good job on this and keep up the good work..
y2shaggy -
oh wow.......out of words
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Good heavens how can one compare to Astrals review?
All I know is I looked up tisane praying she was gonna off him , seriously was disappointed when I found out it's a medicine brew.. Bless her soul you wrote such a rapt story or poem I am still there.. Take Care, Catressa
Edited on Aug 22, 5:47 p.m. because ''. -
Well, i am back to savor the wonder i find here. Stunning.
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brilliant, simply brilliant
I adore the poem, so earthily simple and yet very sophisticated as it provides an exceptional view; as if voyeuristically peaking thru an open window. Soft rhymes, internal soundings and brilliant assonance carry the well structured images onto the mind’s canvas.
First Stanza:
line1: framed, held in, isolated by the tasks, his tasks
line2: behind, the past, reminding. I love the rhyme sequence of “behind her” “reminder.”
line3: excellent contrast, and the “er” soundings of “mastery” “her” and “servitude”
Second Stanza
lines4-6 The fire, the passion, all but gone. And wonderful “O” sounds and rhymes beautiful when read aloud.
Third Stanza
line1: the “grind” an oppressive word, reinforcing the animalistic nature of the woman’s bondage as in how a tethered beast might grind grain.
line 2-3: Wonderful how you equate wrinkles to “angles of displeasure” I remember so many of the Hitchcock movies and the visual use of angles to heighten the emotion within a scene, much like you have done here.
Fourth Stanza
Found this to be an innovative twist with the incorporation and use of the desire to kill the oppressor.
Fifth Stanza
this is by far my favorite and most picturesque. With her holding and beholding, grasping
and gazing into the reflective water’s surface as if by some alchemical method divines the truth of her captivity.
Within the confines of “his crisp shirts” “cinders gone dry” “cold mint tea” “ground in her bowl” and “her best dress and apron” i think this would/should have taken gold in shewolfnative’s Contest: Musing On Masters. I thoroughly enjoyed the poem, and feel that this is by far one of the best poems you’ve penned; worthy of accolade and acclaim. Well, maybe an applause and a short promotion
Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
Edited on Aug 22, 4:13 p.m. because 'spell czech'. -
The quote, "She must love him a lot," comes to mind as I read this, and see the the thankless task perfomed perhaps as much out of habit for someone else's comfort as any other reason. But I couldn't help smiling over the "unholy urges to add foxglove florets to the mix!" Scary that I relate to this so much.
Your penned artistry is so insightful--captures every nuance of the painting and her inward demeanor, beauty lost.
Edited on Aug 19, 11:02 p.m. because ''. -
excellent
An excellent poem of a very sad situation. I know a few ladies in this position now. Nothing really more than cleaners who sleep with the head of the household.
Beautifully written
John -
after reading your words,i began to wonder if maybe you painted the picture.they seem to be such a perfect pair.your words convey the thoughts the old lady have on her face.it is a story of acceptance in one's position but it is so much more.it is the telling of one's lifetime and how the acceptance has affected them.as usual your wordage and the structure of your work is amazing.this is a masterpiece in more ways than one.
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So much sings in this for me. It's more than a bond, more than an acceptance of place, it seems to me some odd balance of this for a that, perhaps a purpose, which if absent would leave a void of use.. ( there I go being convoluted again lol )..
Looking at the image, your words seem to blend with the colors, the paint, tones and shade, of a life set to able a life, whether I understand or I don't.. why we do what we do.. when we do..
beautifully done.. you are a poet.. ( but you already know I think that.. )
~~Lisa/whims -
Great
excelent. very good write. -
Wonderful write . I love that picture. There were some wonderful writes in that contest.
~Dee -
OMG....you win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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