It was with some conviction that I entered the bathroom looking for a vacant cubical, the orange juice after my lunch seemed like a good idea at the time.
It wasn’t until I was washing my hands that I noticed her sitting there. She was on the floor her back against the wall with her slender arms embracing her shapely legs, which were squeezed against her chest. She was looking up towards me; her knee carried the red mark where her chin had been resting. Her eyes were dry, although the red rings around them gave their recent history away.
I asked her if she was all right and while I didn’t hear a sound in reply, her face lit up spelling comfort with her lips motioning a message leaving me with no reason to worry for her.
I returned her smile and quickly hurried for class as it was English, and ‘Baroness Black Skirt’ already had me on report for being late this week. The last ten minutes of her ranting seemed like an hour thirty. Sitting cross-legged with a rather urgent desire to retrace my steps to the bathroom again, seemed to make the clocks travel painfully slow.
Finally free, I rushed back to the bathroom; she was still there. I’m not sure why, but I sat beside her and without saying a word took her soft, warm hand in mine. We exchanged names as I asked her what was the matter.
She told me today was to be her last day at school; tomorrow she was being taken back to Iran where it had been arranged for her to marry a cousin. All her western talk of a University education, refusing to wear traditional headdress and speaking out of place, had pushed her family too far.
Eventually I excused myself to use the bathroom, but when I returned she was no longer there. I ran outside and looked everywhere for her; she was gone.
Everywhere I go now, I look for SoulmAz. All my success, achievements and liberties, I wish we could share.
Author notes
If anyone has a desire to search for or seek answers. I wrote a sequel to this snapshot - storywrite.com /story/show/31 216# (I guess we all deserve to know what happened. - thank you). 
Written August 19th, 2005
A contest entry
- Short Dramatic Stories by Diamond.
1000 points, ended September 4, 2005, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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Wattle,
Is this a true story? Wow, its really captivating.Idefidently want to know more. Time to follow that link... -
When I reached the end I was thinking about so many more times these situations excist now a days.So many girls growing up in a free country are being forced to marry some man chosen by her parents.
I think of this as a real sad situation...
I am going to read the sequel now.
Good write,
thank you for sharing
XXJeannette
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This is very good - no grammatical innaccuracies that I could find and, as always, your characterisation is wonderful! However, the narrator is a little lacking - a little vague, but perhaps you give her depth in the sequel - I shall find out. 'Baroness Black Skirt' - very clever, I wish we had been as inventive. Our teachers were known by their surnames, except for 'Steve' (a female french teacher), 'the dragon' (another female french teacher) and 'Hitler' (our Headmaster), except for a select few who were known by their first names. Barbie. Xx
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Thank you, 'angelica', you are kind to keep returning to this poor old guy who tries to write scribble.
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very intriguing
Dear wattle, I just read your poem and am anxious to read the rest to see if you found her, it sounds very intriguing and unfortunately it happens far to often in some cultures. You have an amazing talent of drawing your readers in my friend, and at writing stories which I love to read. I'm off now to read more.
Hugs Joan
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Thank you Michelle, I appear to have missed your comment (please forgive me - I do better next time).
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wonderful !
Chance moments such as this are the kind of moments that stay in the memory bank for many a year. They have a mystical quality to them most times. But always still leave you wondering how their lives have turned out.And you do that here. Leaving the reader with that feeling. Wondering how their lives have turned out. Soooo....on that note, I'm on my way to find out! Okay....so I know already, but now it all makes sense and will have to reread so I can make a proper comment.
~Michelle~
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Thank you, 'lostsoul7', you are very kind and much too gentle with his old scribbler.
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excellent
Wattle this is excellent, i'm not really good with reading long stories so i tend to stay away from them but i found this to be not so long for one and second it pretty much got me hooked, now i'm going to read the sequel. Well done on an intriguing story
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Thank you Ms Cutie, you are very kind to offer your time and praise to this poor old fellow from down below (who is sitting here scribbling).
Edited on Dec 17, 3:35 p.m. because ''. -
excellent
Paragraph 2# "siting" should read "sitting"...intriguing story...need to move on now to find the next episode that you have listed
Excellent read as always my friend 
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Thank you 'Seether', you are so kind to this old guy you make telling stories sound respectable.
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We all carry stories with in us, I would love to sit and be able to pour what is within out to share, but I do not have the elloquence to do so. What you have done with everything I have read of yours is magic.
To be able to take something you have seen, felt, dreamed of , make it real, give it heart and gift it so that the person, sitting here reading is litterally caught till the moment you release them, is amazing, part of the magic is they always carry the story with them.
I am enjoying your collections here sporadically but very much.
Thank you for the pleasure. -
Thank you Ms Nocturne, you are most kind. - I wrote a sequel to this. It was by popular request; it's titled 'A Further Moment' - allpoetry.com/Story/1484001 - and won me a gold trophy - (if you have the time to spare, you can discover what happened to the girl(s).)
Edited on Oct 06, 11:58 p.m. because ''. -
very well written..your visual descriptions are quite vivid and written so nicely...wonderful ability, words...and quite moving. I was anticipating something related to drugs - but this was different. That unexpected turn was enjoyable.
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Thank you 'Kethry' (kind southern lady)
Edited on Aug 30, 4:33 p.m. because ''. -
wonderful vignette, classicly written.
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Ms Ava, (the comma is attached to the floor - the write was to be in 350 words, and it is 350 words, any hope of expanding it wasn’t an option). Thank you for continuing to be supportive, and trying to make an old fool better at writing. You are very much appreciated.
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She was on the floor her back against the wall with her slender arms embracing her shapely legs, which were squeezed against her chest.
I think you need a comma after "floor." This sentence almost reads like a run-on. Maybe you could break it down into two sentences.
I like where this is going, but I was left craving more detail. You mention "finally I was free," and the character goes back into the bathroom, but you do not mention the time between those two periods, which I assume this person was in class, but I think a slight mention of how class is finally over would work better.
I enjoyed reading.
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Hi Wattle, I've decided to up the word count to 600 and the date to 09/01/05 should anyone care to elaborate on their story or you can leave it as is. I apologize for the indiscrepancy and hope it's not too much of an inconvenience. Avril
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'Touchof1der,' you will not have to long to wait. Tomorrow (I think) we are going to run a contest to create the answer(s), for you. Why, you might even like to put your take on it also. I personally have two theories on what happened. Thank you, Kimberly, for noticing my scribble. You made an old guy feeling a little useful.
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I never tire reading your stories. This one has the most opposite effect though. i am sitting here wondering, okay wattle... where is the rest? You can't leave us all hanging like this? Too many unanswered questions here!!! Talk about pulling us into your grip and dangling a carrot before us!
What happened to her? Where did she go? Did she run away? Did she go to the man she was destined to marry? Did she hide? Is she somewhere on the streets of North hollywood trying to support herself as a streetwalker? Ack!!! We need to know!! Hyperventilating here wattle....
♥ Kimberly -
Thank you Kunjal, you are always kind (and you are way to hard on yourself).
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GRIPPING
You always get me "wow!"
well, Wow!!!!!!
It was great. Very well written, and far more clearer than mine.
Thank you so much for pointing this one out for me, I was too busy with the "university" work but your gesture encouraged me to write.
Thanks once again. You might want to re-read it.
And as for your write I can't say much.. you always write great stuff and keep up the expectations
~keep writing.
~k -
Thank you Aliana, I’m not sure a new partner would be comfortable with some of my quirks, fancy not being pre-warned.
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Very moving write... can you imagine? I can't. LOL I would pity the poor man that was fixed up to be with me LOL I think I would make his life a living hell until he let me go .
Myself having been married before; even when you have the pick of litter you can get it VERY VERY wrong... so who knows pre-arranged may be better? I couldnt imagine what it would be like to meet the man you are to spend the rest of your life with on the day of your wedding - it would be very freaky.
Good write Wattle
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Thank you kind sir, 'Cyberartist.' I have points to spare (today). You will have 500 words to explain what happened starting when this contest is finalised.
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Thank you 'Queenie', you are so kind. Start writing when this contest finishes I'm going to post a story contest (You have 500 words to explain what happened.)
Edited on Aug 23, 8:31 p.m. because ''. -
I agree with Queenie I'll even chip in points if you need them my only reservation is it could overstep the boundaries of PC I would have been in the bathroom two but
last time I bwas caught in the girls bathroom at school Igot into a lot of trouble so did the young girl as I remeber
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that contest idea sounds like a winner.there are many ways this could go and it would be interesting to see the different avenues that people take.this is a wonderful and dramatic piece.i was there in that bathroom with the two of you and now i'm wondering,where do we go from here?
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You know Wattle, I was thinking of the very same thing, to have another story writing contest using your story to explain what happens in the life of the young woman. That would be awesome but since you put it on the screen first, the ball is in your court and by all means enter as many stories as you wish, hot or cold. Avril
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Thank you Ms Diamond, You are always kind to this poor old guy. I have a (few) plots to explain what happened (both warm and cold). May I be permitted to enter another story in your contest (and you pick, hot or cold)? -- Wait perhaps we/I should make this into a contest and see what may come of her/them? (you pick).
Edited on Aug 21, 4:37 p.m. because ''. -
Dramatically Moving!
Another brilliantly moving as well as dramatic story that can only leave the readers wanting more. What happens to the young lady? Does she move back to her prearranged marriage, or does she run away to lead a new life somewhere else. Will you both ever meet again someday, the plot thickens. WOW! Wattle, Kudos to you for an interesting and thoughtout, constructive story. Don't leave us hanging, you must elaborate on this one someday. Best wishes to you in the contest. Avril
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Thank you Lady Peach, I'll have you know story telling got me into quite a lot of bother when I was younger. It's OK now, no one believes an old fool. (I'm starting to think the follow on to this would make for an interesting contest.)
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Well~writ, my Friend...I, too, was left wondering what happened next...which is probably your intent, eh??? LOL
Well~developed characters in a short span of time...I'd like to see more...soon!!! 
You're quite good at storytelling, wattle...Thanks for lettin' me know... Lady Peach
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Thank you 'my' Ms Barbara, you are always kind to this poor old guy who scribbles out of a desire to be more then a poor old guy.
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Nicely done, and very dramatic Although short, it carries a great plot and theme to it that made me want it to continue.
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Thank you Sheryl, your comments can make an old guy feel a little taller.
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Another wonderful snapshot of life that fully captures all of its meaning for the two characters involved. How do you do it, my friend? An inspiration, as always. Good luck with this!
Sheryl
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Thank you Ms Queen, I think they lived happily ever after. (I have an idea along these lines) - Glad this one didn't find your stomach in knots. -
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Another brilliant tale you tell. This is one you can keep going with, now i want to know where the girl went and what happens next
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Thank you Katy, it's your idea. I modelled it from a story you wrote some time back (that I really liked) - 'her'; 'SoulmAz' is a Persian girl's name meaning 'never wilts' - (you need education - guys don't go for cubicles over an orange juice). - ha - thank you for stopping by, kind Lady.
Edited on Aug 19, 5:57 p.m. because ''. -
This was very good! I like the way you make the reader feel for the main character right away... very fond of him! A very creative idea, Eric!
Love,
Katy
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