Dancing with daggers,
cutting edge so keen.
Forbidden pleasures,
in abstracts of mean.
Dancing with daggers,
cut away at the past.
The final sonata,
a farewell to grasp.
Dancing with daggers,
droplets alluring stain.
An end to his pleasure,
a rest, to her pain.
Dancing with daggers,
empires crumble down.
For honor of Lucretia,
in death it was found.
Dancing with daggers,
the smile on her face.
A master's rendition,
her memory did trace.
Author notes
Rembrandt. Lucretia. 1664. Oil on canvas. The National Gallery of Art, Washington, DC, USA
The Rape of Lucretia (2:725-852). This is a story from ancient Rome: while her husband is away, the virtuous Lucretia is raped by Sextus, the son of the King Tarqunius the Proud. In order to save her honor Lucretia takes her own life, but not before revealing the reason of the suicide in a letter to her father and husband. On her tomb her family gave an oath to avenge her death. As a result a rebellion took place against the tyrant Tarquinius. The revolt led to the fall of the king's power of Rome and foundation of the Roman Republic.
Written August 18th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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Such amazingly powerful words. I love this. The repetion is captivating. I love it, I love it, love it.
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the repeating lines really show the meaning of the poem... nice write, well done!
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You know, I am sitting here tonight alternating between writing and reading and this piece is stunning. The verses succinct and perfect and the repetitive line chilling while at the same time inciting a dark passion - really well done.
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this was a really good write. it was a good write on someone in history. you did good looking up background info. and thanks for posting it in your author's comment box to give us a mini-history lesson. good write. and good diction and syntax.
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I know nothing of the event that caused this poem to be written, but you have made it very interesting, and it certainly would explain the picture. Well done.
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WOW, good job!!!!
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this is amazing i love it. its deep and...really good lol. awesome write, keep up the good job!
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i loved this, especially coming from a historical event, and i'm so glad you put that in the comment box, i think that makes it so much more complete, to see where you were inspired for the poem, to tell her tale.
SH -
I do believe you have a winner with this piece....you have made the picture and poem work together perfectly....a story you have told fitting the picture and the write together.....the talent is beyond words.....I think the others before me did all the justice needed for your outstanding gift of poetry write...ejoyed the read and glad that you shared.
TUI
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Wow, incredible write, I enjoyed especially that you were actually informed of the topic, and that you so well put emotions to a piece of history. That always makes it so much more enjoyable.
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amazing, good luck
This is amazing you deserve so many more applauses than i can possibly give! I am begging for more, you captured the essence of this portrait. I thought juliet when i saw it, but dancing with daggers, is brilliant, and full of a graceful imagery and perfection. Amazing right. -
i have to agree whole heartedly with Mollys comments. i do like the repetition in each stanza. very well written, nice flow to the poem as well.
bobby -
Fantastic
"A picture is worth a thousand words" - is that not the common cliche? But I love what you wrote, don't get me wrong.
You can see it in her eyes and what you put there, below her was perfect. I know this piece and I agree with what you have written.
It's unfortunate when things end up like this.
Hope it does well. -
great..
this is fantastic.. so much effort put forth..best wishes for winning..Linda -
This was really a wonderful write, so medieval and renissance feeling. A great story. You have written this so very well and it was intense and fantastic. Great write and thanks for sharing it.
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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what can i say about this write other than.....DAMNNNNNNNNN hope u win
Rae -
speechless...utterly speechless ...bravo!
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Muddy!!! I'm shocked & dismayed...& roflmao 
hehehe 
I love ya, Scribe...you crack me up...a true Gift, being able to make someone laugh...'specially a moody ol' poemy thing like me...LOL 
♥ 
Wanderer
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I did carve a nude once...she was an incense holder, nuff said
laffin -
'...Dancing with daggers,
cut away at the past.
The final sonata,
a farewell to grasp...'
Whoaaaaa... Incredible piece, Muddy!!! Bravo, Scribe...I agree with the comment that you do with words what Rembrandt did with paint...kinda funny, considering you are a painter, eh??? 'Course, your pictures are poems, so I guess it makes sense...LOL Sooo, Muddy...do ya sculpt, too??? If not, you should...so very well done, my Friend...An impressive penning...Good luck in the contest, Scribe... ♥ Wanderer
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I am also in awe on this one brilliant penning
And I love the about poem
Truly an expceptional write and of winning material
bravo to you .. Me muddy King
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Yay you did your research! lol brownie points for you!
and now for the poem:
Well I am appauled...it was HORRIBLE, its a disgrace to have it in my contest! JUST KIDDING! lol its the complete opposite of what I said above! It's fantastic...just great! I am also fond that you have not named this poem dancing with daggers...good job lol But this poem flowed wonderfully! just everything about it is so great! What Rembrandt did with paint, you do with words. I am just in awe...so I'm going to stop so I don't ramble on and on like i usually do lol So best of luck in this contest (trust me you dont need it lol) and i would like to thank you for entering this beautiful piece!
~Dezy -
Whoa!! Muddy!!!! What a wonderful job you did here. This is a masterpiece within itself. Fantastic job on this and good luck to you in the contest. (and thanks for the bit of history).
~Lyrical
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Angel dust is not enough
Ode to Muddyking's stain on the cloth
By God, I bow
before your writing now
I congradultate your kind
attention and relevant rhyme.
quick crit- AT Alishtari -
Absolutely excellent, you truly repainted this picture in words. This poem was powerful, haunting and breathe taking to say the least. You have true poetic flare and a writers sensitivity that really helped bring this poem to life. Very nice work keep it up.
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Delicate damsel's dagger delivers downfall.Dam, but your good at this!~~Suseann
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i like this alot it tels a GREAT story! its truly wonderful...the flow and ryhming is also wonderfully done great work ...keep it up
x0x <3 Casey x0x -
You captured the story very well in your poem, although I was not previously aware of the history, thank you for putting it in your comments. I like to know where people have found their inspiration for a particular piece.
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Great rhyme and well versed
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Very good excellent speed and really like the insperation for this poem. Really different!
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FUCKING BEAUtIFUL! It was very unique and imaginitive, it flowed wonderfully and it kept my attention. GReta work
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Awesome! That was absolutely fabulous! It was beautiful and had wonderful uplifting yet saddening imagery! The flow is quick paced and makes your heart beat faster just as a dance with daggers would be and do! I really hopeyou do/did well in this contest! Have a great day and keep writing strong!
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Hi, great, this put it in a poetic nutshell, great feel rhyme,flow for me a winner, but justice often is a fickle lady, all the best my friend you have my applause, hugs Di
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Your research is easily portrayed in the painting as is the pain of hopelessness. You should be commended for you thorough work, a trophy would be nice too.
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This brings back some dark memories for me. Only my dagger was in the shape of a revolver, and the dance was a bit more intimate.
Very well written.
~J -
Muddy , this is a masterpiece, I truly enjoyed reading this, it certainly went with the picture, best of luck in the contest my friend!
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Muddy this is awesome.. Im not familiar with the history of the painting myself. But your poem captures the mood well.
Red
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