I caught a lonesome part
of your wounded heart.
Kept it in my soft lap
to read it like a map.
In the mirror of your blood’s lake
I saw my fading ache.
A love like fresh bread’s smell,
like water from a well.
A blade of grass in your hair,
your smile so fair.
Don’t ask me do I care…
Do you dare?
Author notes
My comment: life with out you
Written August 18th, 2005
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Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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another great poem so much scent here and th final line a question, of course i would dare, but i guess not everyone would, we are all frail and scared of love yes this is true, but we have to be bold at times too - how does it feel top be terribbly near to the truth in sighs? you are there here in this poem
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Yes, sometimes life looks like it is built of questions. Yes, you are right, I am in my poetry.
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Thank you David. I am sorry for your bad feelings. I hope that very soon you will be in much better mood, with better attitude.
~Sonja~ -
I can relate to this, and this poem made me feel horrible because i could relate to it way too much. i'm not really in the mood for a love poem now, but i wish you luck in my contest, and appreciate you entering.
-david- -
Thank you Lana. I am glad that you like it. Thank you for applause and good wishes
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Short and powerful, I really enjoyed this one...Very thought provoking and very well written. Great flow, brilliant rhyming. You did a very good job, good luck in my contest. Thanks for sharing!
Take care
~Lana
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Thanks Nola
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KUDOS!!
wow! this is Excellent!GOODLUCK!!! -
Thank you Immortal . I am glad that you like this poem. Yes, it is pictured with metaphors and some other associations. Thans for good wishes.
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i like this little poem you have written here. i love the metaphor "This love is like fresh bread smell,
like water from the well."........it may not be a metaphor but it sounds like one to me for some odd reason or another. well, good luck in the contest!!! you have a nice little poem here.
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Lovely flow to the words you've chosen, but this was a little too vague and bemusing for me... I think I'm in the mood for the more direct at the moment! Somewhat intriguing though... xx Rach xx
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Thank you stormy
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This is very sweet and beautiful poem. Thank you so much for following the rules good luck in my contest and thank you for entering!
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Thank you dla
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wounderful poem. i love the flow you have going.
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Perfect Sexy Lace!
Very light in style and pretty,romantic delicate and light.The imagery is soft and sensual and the flow is as always jusr right!Good luck in the Contest! -
Thank you zee1. I am glad that you like it.
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This is a good piece, well crafted, has a great flow and expresses love in a creative and beautiful manner - well done. Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you Sappho...
I am glad that you like it
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Every word you use here fits so perfectly.
It seems so happy though. Not that happiness is a bad thing, but I look for sad in this contest.
This is a very beautiful poem, anyway. Great job and good luck! -
Thank you Jim. I am glad that you like it, even my nuances of "creation"
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Thank you Ash... Well, sometime my muse is working overtime, sometimes is a little bit tired, but, all was my poetry.
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Thank you Richard for very nice comment.
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I agree with Richard Sonja, this is light and beautiful. I love the nuances you create inadvertently in your translations. They are many times so sweet.
Jim
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Woo Sonja, good poem, good flow the rhyming wasnt forced and I adored it. You did a great job writing this, I think your poetic skill is improving. the last poem of yours that I read wasnt this good.
-Ash :
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Well, it could be... Thank you for nice comment.
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Thank you
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Pretty Write
Sonja ia a beautiful name and she has inspired you to write a pretty romantic piece and love it where you tell her there is no need for her to question your love.Red lace is sensuous! -
wonderful light hearted write. its like it masks depressing yet is covered by a wave of happiness.
beaitufil -
great
beautiful, i feel inspired reading this piece, good on u -
Thank you. Today you are very fast..
I am glad that you like it.
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Beautiful, simply stunning. Your english my friend is getting to the level of superb. This is a fantastic poem. You are indeed blooming!!!!
Blessed be
~~Serenity~~
Billie Jean
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