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Waves

Stood on the cliffs at Saltburn
Looking out over the sea.
Bringing my gaze ever closer
As the waves come rolling to me.

Remorselessly the waves are rolling
And making a wonderful sound.
Rising so slow and then falling
As they march towards solid ground.

The waters majestically rising
As the waves roll relentlessly on.
Raising themselves ever higher
Until they o'er balance and are gone.

It's the waves that're gone not the water,
That continues on its way.
In a million tiny bubbles
And a soft and sparkling spray.

Watching this marvel of nature
Repeated remorselessly.
Helps me believe that ancient adage;
The best things in life are free.

 

Author notes

Watching and listening to the sea is amazingly therapeutic and a lot cheaper than a psychiatrist
Written August 17th, 2005

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for reading and writing.
    A computer teacher friend of mine used to have the motto
    KISS [Keep It Simple Stupid] Sounded good to me.
    Jim S

  • Gonzo
    August 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    A very nice end to this one O Bearded one. You write in very plain terms and keep things simple....no use trying to confuse ppl in to likeing a poem eh? Keep up the work.... (im enjoying poems that ryhme who knew i could do it)
    ~Castania

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for reading and writing.
    Jim S
  • Alan Charles Bishop
    August 18, 2005
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    Excellent poem i like the the way it was presented and will read a few more looking for funny ones. Anywho hope you will look at a few of my poem's, but if you do please keep a open mind cos i wrote alot of my poem's as a young lad with my head in the clouds, and feeling alot of pain from my up bringing or lack of one,it put some weird feelings into them.anyway you seem a realy good poet and i wellcome any feedback's as i may be publishing a book of poem's called Love, Life And Comedy and would like your Exspert apinion .BISHOP P,S if there are any spelling mistake's in this mesage please forgive me as i am highly dislexic.

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You are too kind Quill but I thank you for it.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    The I would present no problem.
    Remorselessly is more problematical. I toyed with relentlessly first off but went with remorselessly because of the passionless (or compassionless) way they move. Either would fit my cadence and provide the aliteration. I could be swayed either way.
    I'll have to try them both on a live audience.
    Thanks for making me re-examine this.
    TTFN
    Jim S

  • Quill
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Sir you are a wonderful poet

  • KevinDunn
    August 18, 2005
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    A very pleasant poem. Thank you for sharing it! (Could the metre stand the first line beginning "I stood on the cliffs ..." - perhaps the first time I've ever advised someone to insert the perpendicular pronoun rather than remove it!!!)

    Also, is "remorselessly" the right word? Remorse seems to have nothing to to with the case. I can't think of a better one off-hand, but I think there is one. Remember Kipling's "McAndrew's Hym" - "Predestination in the stride/ of yon connecting-rod."

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your words Zola. I am glad you liked this it is one of my own favourites.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you Impatiens you have used the mot-juste. A reverie is exactly what it was when this came to me.
    I was stood on the pier at Saltburn with waves rolling beneath my feet watching them roll onto the cliffs a short distance away. A glorious moment which I try to recreate every time I'm in the area.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for your words and your inspiration P-on-S.
    I will have to try and get a handle on that idea and also the feeling AFTER a storm which I think can be one of the best times. Yes, you've given me food for thought and I am grateful.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
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    Thank you for those kind words Inkbringer. I hope my other stuff can live upto them.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for reading and writing.
    I'm glad you liked this, I think it is one of my better efforts and it's the one I try to beat with new work.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
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    Thanks for the kind words Malabu.
    I agree. There can be something of the religious about the ocean without the crowds.
    I hope you decide to share your writings. The memory will still stay as a sacred part of you but you may help others to see your vision.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for stopping by Molly D. I'm glad you liked it.
    Jim S

  • zola
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Just reminds me of the many hours I spent staring out into the sea. You really captured it well...I miss the ocean and the warmth of being in a tropical climate. Good write! Everything was very well written, I cannot critique your style as it works well here.
  • poet on skis
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i really like it. exalent rhymes! The immagery is also perfect. I like your endding. This reminds me of a Hiku (simple and about nature) but a lot lot lot longer. way to go! i would like to read what you have to say about the air right befor a thunder storm.

  • umlaut
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Watching this marvel of nature
    Repeated remorselessly.
    I can believe that ancient adage;
    The best things in life are free.

    That is simply amazing. i love it. it's just so good, just so... just so GOOD!!! i love it!! it's so awesome. i'll read more by you... keep writing!!

    inkbringer

  • Salt of Earth
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem. I really enjoyed the flow of it, and the rhyme was nice too. I love the beach, I would go to it every day if I could, and I agree with your last line:

    "The best things in life are free."

    I think this is a beautiful piece. Probably mostly because i just love he water (have been born on an island, and i can't help but just love the ocean and all the creatures in it. oh, except sharks. lol. Great job, i loved it.

  • Malabu
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I look at the ocean with all its majesty.
    waves endlessly tumble to the shoreline
    cleans the sands of all imperfections
    fills the air with salted mist
    ahh the gracious soak begun
    filling the sand with its moistness
    wiping its heart so clean
    I love the ocean and beaches...its a church to me be...most of my writings of oceans and beaches...I keep inside of me.....one day I will share them with the world....sacred they be no more. for all the things I cherish most.....remain unearthed of my oceans floor...ok well rhymes. you got me going here...lovely write and touches me with gentle melodies of roving waves in my mind...wonderful write...
    Malabu
  • Molly Densmore silver member
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was very beautiful and lovely. Great descriptions to enhance the imagery of this write. They were vivid and clear as I read. Wonderfully done and written so well. I really liked this and thought it was wonderful, thanks for sharing it.

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks. I'm glad you liked it.
    Thanks for your applause too.
    Jim S
  • RockStarAngel7
    August 17, 2005
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    That was a beautiful poem, my dear! Truths such as this should be made known to the world. Too many people just do not realize.

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    One of the joys of the UK is that on an Island like ours I am never more than 90 minutes from the sea.
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 17, 2005
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    Thanks Jason.
    Actually I wanted to do this as prose but every way I tried it sounded trite or overly ponderous.
    I like this as it gave me a chance to get in a bit of aliteration and I could match the rhythm to the vision of the waves. I'm glad you think it was OK.
    Jim S

  • ceXee
    August 17, 2005
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    wow jim this is truely amazing! you like stole my breath away its so captivating. i really felt like i was at the beach....o how i long to go back . wonderful job and yes the best things in life are free

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the comment RavenChick
    Jim S

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Hi Robin,
    Yes a little bit unwieldy. I tried 'til instead of until but it didn't sound right. I didn't really notice line 14 because I give an extended pause between lines 13 and 14 which carries me on nicely.
    If you can see a way round wich still keeps the lilt I would appreciate it.
    I've just got back from Saltburn folk festival which was what made me dredge this up out of the scran bag.
    Jim S

  • August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ah, another good write. But I see you took it a little lighter on the rhyme this time Jim. You picked the perfect background for this piece. Keep up the good work and yes indeed Jim the best things in life are free. Have a blessed day.
  • RavenChick07
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Pretty I like it, it really paints a picture in your mind which is what I like. Keep it up.
  • montez gold member
    August 17, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Nice thoughts Jim, and very profound.
    I was watching a young couple recently walking their dogs when I had similar feelings. I'm too busy driving around and working to have a dog at the moment, and I envied them the pleasure those little darlings enjoyed, and gave.
    Sorry to point out that there are a couple of lines I consider clumsy which spoil the flow IMO (12 and 14 - the former being a syllable too long, and the latter, one too short)
    Good luck.
    Regards,
    Robin.
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