I feel it sometimes in the small of the evening,
After a days work not unlike the last one,
The urge to be someplace other than alone.
I take pride in my singleness of purpose,
I hold the partial strings of others lives,
Yet I sometimes need to rest those strings.
I could seek out another from the halls of my life,
Perchance, such has already been the case,
But now, the occasion calls for a difference.
A shadow with a different tinge of the lonely,
A breeze blown from a new direction... faintly,
A touch from an unvisited dimension of my being.
A true closeness without the banal,
A head on my shoulder and nothing else,
A woman in need of very little...
... and wanting so very much.
The profound warmth from which no one need leave.
And to which you will always be drawn.
A hug without kisses, yet so much sweeter.
I am waiting.
Author notes
This is my first attempt at this style. I hope you like it.
Written August 17th, 2005
A contest entry
- Round 1 of Many by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended November 15, 2006, 44 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i just got over a relationship by shortnsweet039.
500 points, ended January 6, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something Beautiful by Best-to-the-Fall.
380 points, ended December 18, 2006, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - la la la love! by j-ay rose.
535 points, ended March 8, 2007, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I need ideas for country song titles! by PentiBabe.
550 points, ended March 16, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I wanna feel like im close to something real by Zannah.
700 points, ended January 1, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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A hug without kisses:
In other currently running contests: yes. ):
Creativity: 7/10
Concept: 9/10
Language: 10/10
Overall Effect: 10/10
Final Grading: 36/40
Notes: nice, but double entered.
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I like this. I like that it can go in more than one direction, it can be seen as something other than romantic love, which shows me that you have spent time to think about what you were saying. Well done and thank you for entering my contest.
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You've done a great job penning this piece. Solid emotional points and a lovely flow. Well done! Best of luck in the contest.
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ahh waiting. sometimes i feel like i'm the only one in the world who is waiting for the amazing part to happen. it's good to know i'm not alone. and i do like this. very much.
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Ah, this was your first attempt at free verse. If it was free verse, you shouldn't have had to rhyme, so whoever was in charge of that contest wasn't to knowledge equiped with free verse poetry. I think it's a lovely piece and well done for a free verse.
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This was my first attempt at free verse. I became annoyed when this piece won bronze because I'd been told that I should not have gone outside what I was "good" at. It was said that if I had made it rhyme, it might have been gold.
I do what I wish. Finis,
EH. -
Your poem is 20 lines long. Max was 20 and min was 5. You followed those rules, however, you state in your author comments that this poem is your first attempt at this style.. I need to know what style. Don't worry, though, you're still allowed in the contest.
Without knowing what form this poem is, I can't give a full critique.
All I can really say is that I love the meaning and feeling you put into it. Great job.
35
MusicalWings -
We found this to be an utterly sweet write! Thank you for sharing!
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Ahh such a great write..thank you for entering .. good luck!
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Darn I should have got here sooner. When you do sentimental poetry you really win, hands down. This sunk right through me to my bones.. I think it's because it's so much closer/more intimate, more warm and friendly than the other sentimental poems of yours that I've read. A hug is so different from a kiss, and comforting. That's what this poem was, comforting, but with a bit of a cliffhanger at the end, not quite a full stop.. I guess you'll be looking fr the kisses but maybe the reason why I could feel this so much is because hugs go through every age group.. kisses signify a relationship of different sorts... I love the honestly of it.
Oh and (as you may have noticed) I'm not really one to experiment with writing poetry in different styles/structures, or then sticking with them, (and I'm always impressed with your ability/willingness to do so) so I'm a bit ignorant as to the style you were attempting but the whole poem sounded spot on to me.
And congrats on the well deserved bronze!
Edited on Sep 07, 1:28 p.m. because 'Missed a bit'. -
This seems sad, or perhaps its just me being all sentamentalish and being able to somewhat relate. Theres not really much I can say on this one. There is nothing I would change about it, but whats style are you attempting to do?
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A hug without kisses, yet so much sweeter.
-I love the intimacy of this line, it just sums up what being with a lover should feel like. Please feel free to read any/all of my own posted posted throughout this site.-Curtis Meyer -
I enjoyed you write it rally gave me tingles in my neck. Get that hug girl.
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Wow this piece is profound. So subtle and sweet. Looks like you have a winner here. Good luck with your contest and have a blessed day
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I do like the style and the poem. I can relate. I too am 'waiting.' There are time when the urge to be some other place then alone is overwhelming.
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i really liked this style of poetry. i think you have aleready perfected it! great write-nice reading.
bobby -
Superb Job
WOW this is very good I like it. Your words are very vivid and strong here,your also very talented. I so hope to read more of your fine writes,and thank you for sharing this with my family and I. Keep up the amazing job you do
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This is no mere attempt. This is a fully successful attempt! It's beautiful and the words flow together very well. This style seems much to difficult for me though, haha. Great job at being so wonderful at it. Good luck in the contest.
-x- -
This is very nicely done in a style I need to learn. Good luck in the contest.
Jim -
awwww! this just feels like pure love to me. To be encircled in delight, just for the sake of being there, warmly enfolded and nothing else. It exudes a very special harmony, and I think you did a marvelous job penning it!
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wow i really liked this is was really sweet
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A hug, with or without the kisses would be a glorious thing. You've penned beautifully once again. Keep the new styles coming, I'm enjoying them
Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing. La x 
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Elegant,surreal; and earthy all at once.
Tears flowing. tonight of all nighrs, youhave touched my soul, the highest compliment , I can give. This is enough to make me quit writing and just read, you have just qualified as a poetic chick magnet, ah, envy, ROLF hugs, ann -
Wow....The feeling of lonlieness is something I think we all have experienced and it really isn't a fun thing to go through....I really liked the way you wrote this though....The flow was really nice but I'm sorry that you're going through that....Thanks for sharing
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I hope that you have someone dear to you that can read this and know what you mean. And I hope she appreciates as much as I do. Actually, more.
The concept of seeing a side of someone that they rarely show, or prehaps rarely acknowledge is very appealing, especially wo women I think.
It's a very sweet little poem. The kind that would make me blush if someone wrote it to me. Lovely. -
This is so beautiful! You must have thought long about writing this...unless you went along from one word to the next. Well, my hugs won't be followed by kisses for a long time..Well, you chose wonderful words to structure this poem, and I hope that I can read more of your works in the future!
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Your first attempt have proven to be quite charming and appealing. You have certainly touched on all the soft, vulnerable spots that. Good luck in the contest.
♥ Kimberly -
Very well-Written, I had to stop and read it over and over again to get a true meaning of what was happening. Keep up the good work.
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there is a big difference between need and want, and yet sometimes, the difference is a very fine line. This is a very great write. The title and poem are well together and the way the poem is structured is just great... It makes the reader stop, slow down and just take the words in just a little more carefuly just to really relize whats going on.
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Wow this is truly beautiful. I have certainly felt this way but to satisfy my need seems a little more complicated. This is a truly creative write, innovative and special. It was the title which caught my eye, it is good but the poem is soooo much better. Good luck in the contest, this is a very worthy piece of writing.
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Awwww, this is so sweet.
A woman in need of very little...
... and wanting so very much.
Those two lines really got me. That is exactly how I feel right now. This a very beautiul, and well penned poem. Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest! Best wishes to you in it.
Midnight
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