I am...

Criss --

When we were born, we were truely a wanted child. The difficulties that you will face, will not determine who you are, but make you a stronger person. I dont want to change my past... or your future, but I want to help you cope with some of the things that are going to test your strength and your ability to move past certain experiences. I want to help spare with you some of the pain I have been through and hopefully, you can learn from my mistakes.

Dad will leave, please try to remember, that this is not your fault. I know that it is going to hurt, especially since he has never given us the love we needed from him, but please do not hold that anger in your heart, release the pain. If you dont, your heart will suffer for many many years, just to come to the conclusion when you are 19, that you have to let go of the pain, for yourself, so that you can open your heart back up to love.

The time after he leaves, will be difficult. But mom will make sure you are taken care of, trust her fully and be good for her, okay?

You will fall in love with a wonderful man named Terald, a few months short of your 5 year anniversary, he will leave. He is not going to tell you why or even tell you he is leaving, one day you will wake up and he will be gone. Please, dont call him or write to him. You will only make your pain deeper. Take away from your relationship with him, all the good things he taught you. The strength he always said you had. He will have helped you develop into a stronger person, a person who believes in herself and there is no subsitution for that. Dont let the pain of him leaving consume you, be strong in yourself as an individual.

You are going to go through a terrible ordeal, that I am not going to mention. I think that by doing so, it might change your actions that day, and even though, you will hurt physically and emotionally, I think it is something that we cant change. You will shortly after be blessed with a daughter. Love her everyday that she is with you, I can not say that she is with me today.

But the most important thing I have for you, is to love yourself. Stand up for what you believe in and always stand your ground. Don’t be too proud to admit when you are wrong, and always take the proper actions to correct the wrong you have emposed. Decide what you want and go for it. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are not worthy, believe in yourself and others will believe in you. You are beautiful, you are strong, you must hold onto your values and let no one tell you, that you are anything different, than what you know you are.

Always believe in the power of love, compassion, kindness and helping others who are less fortunate. I know how hard it is for you to walk away, but please, learn early when is the appropriate time and place to  do so.

Love with all of your heart, accept change for its face value and never stop dreaming. Accept yourself for who you are. Always search for your enter beauty and never give up.

You will find a true love, and this person, will help to make you complete. (no names, I dont want you dating every tom, dick or harry, just follow your heart, it will lead you to the person you are meant to be with forever)

I hope that this letter to you, will help us, as we grow, to test our limits and never stop reaching for the stars. Remember always, "I am", be yourself and most importantly love yourself.

with love,

You