What is this place called life? this lonely thing
which cruelly wipes out dreams that beings bring?
How should we persevere in living, when
all these are doomed, the hopes of beasts and men?
And if we could by some discovery
of warmer passions and philosophy,
ourselves a beacon raise, and thus rise on
to mean more than merely life to anyone,
then though there is no promised kingdom-come,
would we, in lieu, our meager selves become
important to the fate of Humankind?
So soon to die, to be but rushing wind --
with Its last breath, let future mankind sing
"What is this place called life? this lonely thing..."
Author notes
[Sonnet]
Written August 15th, 2005
In a list
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 44 of 44
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yeah... well.. I'm not going to comment on yours or Sol's philosophical arguments...interesting though they are.. however.. the poem. Well I did find it a little sad and it got me down to read it.. but you did invoke an emotion within me and that has to be a compliment to you and your writing because it would be far worse if you couldn't invoke that. Life isn't fair or nice and yes there are a lot of depressing things and its all to do with the whole, there are good things as well and people get all different meanings when they think about it. Your poem was very very good.
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Great job, it's very enthralling.
Thanks for entering the contest!
~AutumnButterfly -
I just found something written by Donne John. He is a poet from.. the 1600's I believe. A catholic minister:
DEVOTIONS UPON EMERGENT OCCASIONS
by John Donne
"... No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. "
unfortunately Donne John as a catholic was blinded by his religion and seemed to believe that non-catholics were not members of mankind. OR that this relationship only exists through the church and via God. Or perhaps we was obligated to make such statements to keep his superiors happy. I'm sure they would notice statements which suggested people cast out of the church are still of vital concern.
"
PERCHANCE he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that. The church is Catholic, universal, so are all her actions; all that she does belongs to all. When she baptizes a child, that action concerns me; for that child is thereby connected to that body which is my head too, and ingrafted into that body whereof I am a member. "
I only bring this up as evidence that even devout catholics need to feel a connection to mankind to find happiness.
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"although for anyone who wants to debate a point dishonestly.. incorrectly extending an analogy beyond its scope is a great way to fool your audience" i guess you are right about this, i didnt think about it in that scope, bad analagy, however i hope it made you understand were i'm coming from, as in my thoughts about the whole subject matter.
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I understand were you are coming from, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I’m really enjoying reading your work and I will definitely be bothering you again in the future. Till next time
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blac-sol: I also only used the song as an analogy to aid in expressing my point. I by no means equate life to a song in all respects... i.e. a song is something listened to by a higher being etc. a song is performed by 1 for another.. etc..etc.
I merely wanted to express that it is sufficient for a single note (if it needs to have a higher purpose) to know that its purpose is the song.
I recently read an article in Scientific American where IMHO the researcher made an invalid assumption that merely because blackholes are analogous to certain things you can do with liquids flowing at the speed of sound, that therefore space itself is analagous to a fluid.
an analogy does not necessarily hold. you can't just presume to extend it indefinitely.
although for anyone who wants to debate a point dishonestly.. incorrectly extending an analogy beyond its scope is a great way to fool your audience. -
Blac-sol. I agree. however, a starving person looks for food, he does not have time to contemplate WHY he looks for food, nor does he have the luxury of fine cuisine. If he doesn't find food right away he dies.
Before man contemplated his higher purpose... man had to become sentient and self aware.
before life itself can comprehend its higher purpose.. perhaps it must become sentient of its own existence... individual people have only scarcely achieved that in themselves. We have only recently even came to grips there there is a thing called CULTURE. 100 years ago it was just "us and the savages".. and everyone thought that.. they believed their own culture was civilized and every other culture was "barbarian" or "savage". The same holds for economics... instead of applying reason to economic problems we apply faith. We are still enveloped by the belief that morality is subjective.. how can we find a purpose if the majority, the vast majority believe that morality is arbitrary and so ultimately meaningless. however we are starting to realize there are vast systems of people called communities and economies and cultures which function beyond the whims of any individual person. are cultures aware?
who knows... I just thought of the question this instant.
All through to cold war we stood on the edge of nuclear holocaust and now we face the threat of global genocide and jihad in the name of primitive superstition.
In any event... as individuals we are doomed. this is certain. If there is no purpose to life itself as a whole... perhaps we may never know. it doesn't particularily matter to what we must do because at least we can know that the continuance and survival of mankind (as life's only hope to colonize other worlds) is a precondition to life ever evolving to the point where it could achieve any purpose at all.
mankind is very ill as a whole... prognosis... unknown.
Is there a higher purpose? initially.. yes: to make sure mankind is around long enough to discover what it is.
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true to some extent
Hi again. I applaud your views and perspective of which you are showing me. You used the analogy of the significance of a note in a song. You are right to SOME extent when you say “there is no point in trying to presume that the note has purpose OUTSIDE of the context of the song” The song IS the purpose of the note, yes, however the song is not just there for the sake of being there, it exits to give some sort of feelings and emotions, that is its purpose, the very characteristics of the notes in the songs are calculated, designed and planned, if you may, to conjure up those feelings through combining with the other notes of different characteristics, so it is true to say that the notes have no purpose outside the song, but their purpose WEAVES the purpose of the song, which, clearly cannot be the song its self, it has to be something more compound, in this case, the feelings and emotions. This is what I am trying to imply, yes we are part of life, but why?, why are we part of life? if all we do and all we ever did was to contribute to life as we know it, then maybe you are right to say we are not serve a higher purpose than life its self, however, such as the way the different characteristics of the note have a purpose to the song so that the song can give feeling and emotion, perhaps our characteristics are to be part of life, but what’s the point of that life why are we going through all this complexity? Just to survive? Possible, or maybe that life in which our purpose arises has a purpose of its own, which, clearly cannot be life, it has to be something more compound. I’m not implying that it’s biblical or some sort of higher being, I wouldn’t know. But there is something more complex than it all. -
Even Adam Smith an 18th century economist, one of the founders of modern economics, realized that "How selfish soever man may be supposed there are evidently some principles in his nature, which interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to him, though he derives nothing from it, except the pleasure of seeing it."
The premise of this poem is that we only exist because of the GOOD done to us by past generations... they only exist because of the GOOD done to them by the ones before. Life only exists because of the good done to it by whatever came before.
There is no way we can pay back our moral obligation to the past except to preserve what we were given, build on it, improve it, and do good to it and bequethe it to the future.
We owe it to the past to do good to the future. That is our purpose. It also happens that individually we are less capable than collectively.. so we owe it to the past to work together to do good to the best of our abilities.
How non-suprising from a scientific standpoint that people NEED to see other people being happy. From a very very simple organism... it is easy to see the biological advantage that a creature, attracted to others of the same species who are apparently experiencing happiness, would possess.
We are the ONLY species which has the philosophical and intellectual sophistication to recognize our purpose. So we have a unique obligation to protect and insure the future of life.
mankind will destroy itself if we don't avoid the obvious pitfalls: exhausting the worlds biosphere, refusing to colonize other planets, refusing to protect the earth from asteroids, refusing to build sufficient safeguards that no disease or WMD can ever possibly wipe us out. Allowing society to fall into another dark age of ignorance where death cults can hasten the 'end of days' or whatever apocolyptic prophesy they strive to cause to occur.
We have a whole lot of work today. We are part of the first generation of human beings who have the science to comprehend the very real possibility that we will as a species be wiped out tommorow or next year or in the next 50 years.
Our ancestors WOULD have done something if they knew, but the truth is THEY WERE IGNORANT SUPERSTITIOUS FOOLS compared to what we are today.
There are quite possibly other threats we can't conceive of because we lack the knowledge. We have a duty amongst other things to seek knowledge. And moreoever to share it so the future possesses it also. And we should be proud if the future generations can look back on us and think that we too were fools, but well intentioned fools.
There is a lot of things that need to be done, if anyone is looking for a purpose to life.
I do not believe we are free to choose our purpose in life. We inherited it. We raise children hoping they will follow in our footsteps.. or that they will do better than us.
very few people have kids hoping their kids will do worse.
there are so many objective reasons we can measure and count and observe TODAY to believe this is much closer to the truth than some zainy manuscripts written in the stone age.
Does a single note in a song lament that it is of finite duration? Would the song be improved if the note could drag on a little longer or a little louder than that the duration and volumn for which it is objectively perfect? The song continues after the note ceases. Each note can contribute or harm the song, but there is no point in trying to presume that the note has purpose OUTSIDE of the context of the song. They have no purpose outside of the song. The song is the purpose of the note.
Likewise, we are part of mankind. We are part of life. There is no cause to speculate that we have a higher purpose than seek to sustain and nurture mankind and life itself. Without either, we are meaningless, the loss of either, renders us meaningless.
We have no reason to believe there is a God which is invisible and undetectable. And we owe nothing to that what we do not know and can not find. Only to what we know and what we can find. We know we are part of life and part of mankind. This is our grand purpose. Perhaps there is more out there. other duties and obligations... we have a duty to try to find those duties and obligations and to try to find better ways to achieve all those ends... hence science and truth are part of our purpose.
so take your pick: science to find answers, art to give us hope and create a feeling of wellbeing continuity, etc so even the dumbest amongst us can be moved emotionally to contribute, labour to help sustain our quest, learning and teaching so the next generation has access to all the advancements we have made and need not start over, exploration to find mankinds next home amongst the stars.
or other things I haven't mentioned...
does someone need another reason to live?
I don't. -
truly like this piece
a lot of people try to find the so called "purpose" in this life, would you say that what you are implying in this poem may very well be this “purpose”, you say we are the product of the people who lived before us, meaning we are here to make it easier for the next generations, thus, continuing our survive I guess I believe that, everything we do, every little action we take, every thought we make is all part of something much more complex than survival, I don’t believe we have free choice, although it might feel like it, I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t believe that every complex little thing we do is for survival, I think there is something more to it, something bigger, I enjoyed reading this, thanks. Untill next time
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Glacian: I believe that poetry is best way to make an argument to those who don't already agree with you from the onset.
"Then tho' there is no promised kingdom come
We could, in lieu, our meager selves become
Important to the fate of this mankind
Tho' now we die and be but a rushing wind
In that breath with which may future mankind sing. "
you can't argue with that.
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There isn't much I could say that others haven't already. This was a very impressive piece. Many people write in this often glaring, though sometimes subtle attempt to SOUND deep by trying to sound dark or philosophical or introspective in a way that makes them just sound like they're trying too damn hard and grasping at air, because they haven't taken the effort to truly think on matters themselves.
This piece here is beautiful, and is the type of writing, if someone ridiculed poetry as being pointless, that I would hand to them to shut them up.
I also enjoyed reading your comments. Examples like this:
"The influences you make on others by your words, your deeds and your art are what is special about your life. And those influences persist forwever. Events you set into motion in life will continue reverbating for as long as mankind continues to exist. Only in the continuation of mankind can we achieve "immortality". A life is only a life unless it goes on to be something more. An infuence on other lives."
...sound almost like things I could find myself saying. I'm glad you can put words to what I often fail to, in poetry and otherwise.
From the sheer volume of positive responses, I see that others like your work as well. This isn't a popularity contest though, I think that your poem simply deserves the praise it has received.
I did notice that several of your rhymes aren't "perfect fits", so to speak, and saw your explanation for some of them (kind and wind). Personally, I think your poem sounds fantastic regardless of the rhyme scheme you employ, and the words suit it - I'm glad that you didn't force-fit words that wouldn't have conveyed your message as effectively. While I'm sure we would probably all prefer to have our rhymes come off as best as possible, doesn't always work that way.
That's when I just say fuck it and make up new words! -
cacklingdragon: this poem specifically disclaims the existence of an afterlife. There is also no grander design implied.
The continuity of mankind as a species and life as a process, is an observation. We can see it. However if we dont care for it and teach others to care for it, there are any number of ways that all life on earth can and will easily come to an end.
Those of us who live only for the afterlife, are a threat to that continuity. We can not rely on anyone's revelation from God to dictate what it morally right. Morality is discoverable just as are the laws of physics. Morality is objective.
And morality is found in nature. It is the set of behavior which will lead to the continuance and spread of life.
We are the descendants of social creatures who valued life and continuity of existence (including culture). This is why thinking about it (and participating in it) feels good. Those of us who cared nothing about future generations, ate their young millions of years ago (i.e. went extinct).
The rest of us derive pleasure from building social structures and existing in rich relationships with fellow human beings.
we both both find spiritual joy as well as accomplish something worthwhile by trying to make the world better, not just for ourselves, but for the future of all mankind. Even if there is no afterlife (and especially if there is no afterlife).
And since I believe there is no afterlife, I believe the only way I will matter in any sense at all is to mean more than merely existing. I must actually try to change the world including the minds of others to something better.
now you know what I believe. -
hmmmm. i've enjoyed this; an incredibly beautiful, intelligent and thoughtful piece. i get from this that you ?believe in people i suppose... the vastness of the interwoven life is what shapes us? i see also a nod to a grander design... hmmm.
it doesn't tell me in an entirety what your own beliefs are however i feel like i do get a good sense of it... i'll probably have to read it again a few times
gorgeous work, thank you for entering and good luck -
lol... kind and wind is what's called an "eye rhyme" just like again and pain and lint and pint. They appear to rhyme and thus trick the eye since they in fact don't technically rhyme in every day speech. You have another eye rhyme as well; on and anyone.
On to your poem. A very good sonnet. I like the smooth iambic rhythm. My lean between optimism and pessimism will have me agreeing with this on days when I have a sense of purpose and disagreeing with this on days when I can not quite see beyond the fog on my glasses.
I like to see sonents written with thought and philosophy instead of the common love themes. Great write. Well done. Best wishes and
s... ~genielassie~
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You think way too much for me. Kudos to you and your knowledge of the poets. I see I could learn a thing or two from you. I really like the Teasdale poem. You have a lot to say. keep penning it, astute student.
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That's an interesting way to think about it all. I never considered that, but it is true.
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the message I'm trying to make is the we are all part of something special and greater than we are, but ultimately dependant on the contribution that each of us make. Mankind.
The influences you make on others by your words, your deeds and your art are what is special about your life. And those influences persist forwever. Events you set into motion in life will continue reverbating for as long as mankind continues to exist. Only in the continuation of mankind can we achieve "immortality". A life is only a life unless it goes on to be something more. An infuence on other lives.
You are right to say that no knowledge we gain in life will help us through death. At death we lose all of our possessions. The only thing which remains is the influences we created for others, whether by being a role model or other means.
You are a product of those who came before. Your culture your ethics and morality are all shaped by those who came before you. They live on through you. thats the moral of this poem anyway.
Cheers! -
*beats head off desk* I hate it when my lack of awakeness causes me to not understand what I am reading. What is like though? What is it for? Why do we live it? What point is there, if any at all? Why were we created? Why are babies born? Why are women able to give birth to children? Why do we continue on, even though there seems to be nothing but death? No knowledge we gain through life will help us through death, so what's the point? This is what I think about when I think about what life is. You poem is thought provoking, even if I don't truly understand it. *sigh*
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Thought Provoking!
An impressive and talented write which makes one very aware of the destruction that we all seem to do so well.Imagery is forceful and word usage powerful. -
amazing
wow. I love it. it's so true. we just kinda float through life, and when it's over, sure the people we knew remember us, but when they're gone, no one will probably ever know who we are. scary thought. you articulated it very well though. amazing.
~Caroline -
Amazing poem. It brough questions to me I had never thought about before. Such as what really is life? Great write. Keep up the great work!
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Great write. I know I often think, "what's the point". Why go through all the pain and sorrow for such little in return sometimes. You did a great job touching on how I feel and I am sure many many others. Keep it up.
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for reasons I wont dispute. "wind" is considered to rhyme with "kind" by poets. this could be because 'Kind' is actually pronouned 'kah - ind'. Don't take my word for it. Look up wind in a rhyming dictionary or look at almost any rhyming poem written by any renowned poet using the word 'wind'.
here is one:
I Am Not Yours
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I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love--put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
-Sara Teasdale
--- oh.. damn.. now people will know that 'rushing wind' is a hats off to Sara Teasdale.
hrmm... strange coincidence that your name is RUSHdelivery.
thanks for your coments. In this case I would use wind even if it was not considered a rhyme. I like the bitter sweetness the sound of wind makes.. in the lines
"Important to the fate of this mankind
Tho' now we die and be but a rushing wind"
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a good question to ask one self..although I did notice you tried rhyming wind with mankind...and they just don't sound similar...I realize the last three letters in the word are the same..but they are pronounced way too differently to rhyme..so I must say I didn't like that part..but the rest was good..keep writing ~Rush
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Very thought provoking love choice of art it also is a fantastic take questions ones existance in this plane we call life. I enjoyed this read.
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I clearly don't have the words to tell you what an important write this piece is.So I'll just conclude BRAVO!~~Suseann
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Very interesting piece. It's very true. The world is tumbling upon itself, and in the end it will be disasterous (like my spelling.)
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A life is a poem.
Whenever you describe the life you will touch its travell in two phases..its one phase is joy and second phase is sadness. The lonelyness reprsents sadness. And if we describe life through the second phase that is through the sadness then the philosophy of its deep arena is automatically touched in which this unverse has a key role to answer certain questions to all the mankind. The thoughts are very deep and very much relevant in terms of its existence too. The flow of the write is very impressive. I really love this marvelous work.prabhudayal khattar -
This is a piece that certainly provides food for thought, and I definately agree with many of the points raised both in this poem, and by the other readers. It is up to all of us to take responsibility for the planet, and ALL those on it.Well said.
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the word "may" is important because the future of mankind is not guaranteed. And that was part of the message.
Mankind MAY sing. or may destroy itself in global genocidal religious war using WMD.
I must still ponder that line. and the 12th for that matter.
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thanks for pointing out the spelling error.
I'm sure about the change you suggested in the 13th line.
However I will ponder it.
excellent comment in any regard.
As for the religious right. I've spent my whole life as an athiest keeping my mouth shut. after september 11, it has become manifestly clear that athiests must speak out and call FAITH for what it is. Primitive superstition and since the invention of WMD's a threat to the very existence of mankind itself.
religious moderates will not and can not defeat religious extremism. religious moderates dont even believe scripture advocates genocide and intolerance which it very clearly DOES.
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teriffic!
Amazing, makes a reader really want to know what is life and it's meaning? I am certain no one really knows in this world. Outstanding job. Thank you for entering! -
Intriguing write. You have a typo here:
Which cruel(l)y wipes out dreams that beings bring?
This is an extremely awkward line:
In that breath with which may future mankind sing.
It would be natural as "with which future mankind sings", but that "may" is really strange there.
I am surprised that the religious right hasn't been buring crosses in your yard.
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A very intellect piece. A gifted soul are you.The discriptive display was truly fabulous. Keep Writing. BrendaKaye
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Wow man, I really enjoyed reading this. You kept the reader interested, and I wanna read more. Keep writing!
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A thought provoking poem which portrays the question of 'why are we here', and then goes on to explain, perhaps, to leave a stepping stone for those who follow? I especially liked the verse:-
"But if we should, by some discovery
Of nobler science or philanthropy,
Ourselves a beacon raise and thus go on
To mean more than mere life to anyone:"
I enjoyed the philosophy behind this poem and the skill with which is was written. Thank you for sharing. -
Life be a thought to the wind. Brushing the touch of natures call. we be born to this circle of natures call but can only survive with the food of life it provide. Emotions and its affects take to the mind things preserved while living. We one day will be ashes burned by the ages and become the particles of life’s wind blowing once again. Very nice instilling writing davidz
Malabu
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ooohhhh....lovely and inspiring...i love the existential tone and message of the whole piece...i love the thought that we can create our meaning for life and yet that meaning is valuable...i love your rhyme...perfect
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Hey, talent at its best. A great poet always seems to find all the beautiful words to use. I like what you have here. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing it as well. By the way, God bless you
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thank you for suggesting I read this. A very thought provoking write. Good luck in your contest.
Mary -
Good free verse is the most difficult for me.
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I would not say it is fair to say form is a given with my work.
Although when I write freeverse poetry I feel like I'm cheating.
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I have to say you took the idea and refined it beautifully. Form is a given with your work. The varied syllable count in the 12th and 13th lines add impact. I also like how you tend to separate your couplet. The content is thought provoking and you bring it full circle with grace.
An excellent sonnet.
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