whenever I'm with you,
I am whole,
I'm truly living
when I talk with you-
the rest of my days
go by so slowly,
I'm in some sort of dead state...
I need you to live,
I need you to breathe,
I need to look in your eyes
and feel...
I'm so numb
I cant feel myself,
I'm so numb I cant remember..
you make me real again,
you make me smile,
laugh and truly mean it,
there's no pretending when I'm with you,
no more mask, no more lies....
I'm whole,
and I am pure,
I forget all my mistakes
in your shadow,
I don't mourn over what Ive done,
only love myself
more than Ive ever before.
when I'm with you I feel beautiful,
just a few of the things I thank you for...
and yet, I know it cant be...
you will never love me.
I look in the mirror and cry,
knowing that I'm still myself.
I'm still dirty,
I'm still tainted,
all my wrongdoings are still there.
you didn't magically erase them,
and my 'realness' is still there.
numbness hasn't crept back in,
so today I taste my tears,
that's all I'm left with,
the reality of my fears.
Author notes
Inspired by Evanescence's "Taking Over Me"
Written August 15th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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*Hangs head*
I'm sorry Alia. I was far too mean.
*falls on knees*
Please, please forgive me? -
This was very sad. You were very descriptive and used some imagery. I agree with grannyeri...it could use some help with the grammar(apostrophes) if there is no reason for them being left out! Otherwise, keep up the great work! I love evanescence's music! LOL! I wish you the best!
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A sad poem, but very telling. Is there a reason you don't put apostrophes in the top part, but do in the bottom?
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Poetry, huh. The sentiment is there and the feeling comes from you, but this reads like a journal entry
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Excellent
Wow this beautifully written so intense. Excellent show of words, flowed nicely. Wonderful job! Keep up the good work. Take care, ~Angel~ -
beautifully done. a great read. true art inspires emotions, and this definitely inspired me.
toast -
Great Great Great write! I especially liked these lines:
---------------
I'm in some sort of dead state...
I need you to live,
I need you to breathe,
I need to look in your eyes
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Also I don't know why but this poem was sorta "chilling" when I read it...werid..anyway great write!
~That Lyrics Guy~
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wow. that was AMAZING! i loved it soo much. i think that this was very well written, couldn't have been any better. great job, i really enjoyed reading this.
~dust~ -
A wonderful poem about something that soo many girls (and guys I guess) can relate to. its so easy to give up everything, and so devestating when the one thing left is gone. And yet it seems feeling pain is better than numbness.
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Love need not look at you with eyes of nothing but reverence. It bring you to a new light.... make you glow without the energy of the sun. You become the suns shine...Your heart need not be regretful of things past. Only learned experiences of what's to come. You need not the glory of another? For this significant other will be the need and want of you. Turn all your fears of shames discovered to a journey of wonderments of heightened glory. Wishful thoughts become your reality. When held in the arms of graceful love adorned.
Malabu -
very good
It was lenghty but the ending ws worth it. -
This was a sad write
I could feel it through each verse
These lines really hit home with me
so today I taste my tears,
that's all I'm left with,
the reality of my fears.
very telling lines..
FrozenTears
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I am sorry, Alia.
I agree with you very much so meg!! Now if the relationship was Agape-love foundation, they I think the line 'Whenever I am with I am whole' would be fine. But since the poem is not about God and Agape love i.e. 'You will never love me' the former line is not right.
I am grieved for you, Alia. Grieved. You should not be so unhappy. -
hmm, I see your point, Meg, thankyou. thankyou Precarious One!
love,
Alli -
"Whenever I am with you I'm whole"?? which implies and incompletion without? That is not LOVE, hun; that is Co-Dependency.
My true love does not "complete" me nor make me "whole" - he "complements" me (note with an 'e' not an 'i' as in compliments) Complements means to make even better - as a good wine complements a delectible dinner .... I am fully complete on my own - just perfectly enhanced with my husband! -
Full of emotion, and I can relate. Great job.
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