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Partial Eclipse - Sonnet #XI

Missing image

Sonnet XI

 

a wreath sonnet

 

It stood there moon detected in the sky;
a sky not interrupted by a cloud
what cloud could even think it could deny,
as would deny momentum if allowed?
Allowed are we to gather on approach
a menacing approach it was to be,
beware, so many people still encroach
people taller, wider, openly!
How openly aware are we in groups,
in groups a rampant part of selfishness
partakes by shifting heads and lowly stoops
to stoop so low would miss it nonetheless.
How nonetheless has asked morality,
to mask it slight with partiality.

Author notes

Written January 3rd, 2003

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • strawberrie2005
    February 6, 2006
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    Thanks for entering my poem contest...
    ....


  • strawberrie2005
    February 6, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering my poem....


  • Siren
    February 2, 2006
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    My word...I can't even remember the last time I have read a poem that really captivated me. As many poems as I have critiqued, I surely cannot recall the last this well written. You used such magnificent word choices and delved deep into the scene. I really don't know what else to say other than bravo!!! You are the perfect example of what writing is all about. Please, continue writing.


  • NoWayJo
    February 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    you wrote this beautifully and in sonnet form too. I've never managed to wrote of the forms, much less rhymed forms without it sounding silly, but you really did well in this poem. it picks up images which you bring the very senses of the readers...and I think I know already whose soon-to-be gold-trophy winning poem the contest leader's gonna pick to show her boyfriend!

    best wishes to you in the contest!

    Jo

  • Rejected Romantic
    October 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Imagery was excellent. Im hungry Well done and good luck in my contest


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    October 16, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh and such a sonnet it is. Well done, my friend!


  • Discordia Lamented
    September 1, 2005
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    Ewwwww raunchy!! Me likes. Now...what else is on the menu?

    DL~


  • sevas-tra
    August 29, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    very very well written. so seductive & romantic all at the same time.
    great write.


  • Cream22
    June 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful and lustful

    lol Ill be the cream for this one lol sorry I know I am married but I felt that poem was writen for me anyway thank you, you are very kind aswell


  • Simply Ashley
    May 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write....

    ashley


  • Blazing White Wolf
    May 24, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    another incredible pen my friend just beautiful
    love and light
    blaze


  • d a f f o d i l
    May 24, 2005
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    another beautiful write hunny xxxxx


  • E A Collins
    May 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Tasty

    A sumptious meal of images served on a luscious pile of words. This tender mouthful is a wicked delight. Very nioce write, and good luck in the contest.


  • Silent change
    May 23, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    a dream that is blending the fragrance of love
    with the sweet of adventure in our heaven above.---This is my favorite part, a beautiful piece well done!


  • arsenicinmypepsi
    May 20, 2005
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    This is amazing. I love the comparisons you used. Beautiful imagery. Great write.

  • Ankita DG
    May 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful descriptive language that has brought out the sheer beauty of this piece.
    WONDERFUL!! The constant but gradual flow of the poem is very comfortable and nice.
    Great poem! Keep writing!
    Best of luck for the contest...
    Ankita


  • -MeganCranke-
    May 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This was a wonderful piece, I'm very glad you entered into my contest. Best of luck in the running!

    Also, this comment wasn't very good, but I want you to know that I really do like it. You are a very tallented writer.

    Always,
    Meg

  • nolonger
    May 19, 2005
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    This is a beautiful poem . One of my favorites, I have read it many times before, But scince I was being a " secret admirer"
    I commented very few times. I love the way your write, Everything is beautiful and mapped out with perfection. Everything flows as gently as the slowest sweetest piano music.


  • luckynsincere
    April 23, 2005
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    WOW! This was GREAT!! I loved your word choices, It was romantic and seductive. Very well written. Made for a beautiful read! thanks so much for entering...

    Melanie


  • zt
    December 7, 2004
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    A good attempt at a sonnet, this. Some of your iambs were not spot on, but it was still a fun read. I liked the metaphor of the fruit for love and you did a good job with the rhyme. Pleased to have read it.


  • February 6, 2003
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    Wow.... that was extremely beautiful! This poem has just lightened my day. I believe that you will be my favorite poet from now on! Talk to you later!
    *~Brooke~*


  • froglover80
    February 5, 2003
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    WOW, I dont know what else to say, but WOW, you have an amazing way with words...the verbage used, the explicit discriptions, the warmth and feel of it all...it flowed smooth, and you have excellent meter here...I am so glad that I stopped by to read..thank you so much for getting me here ~~Jenn

  • BloodRoses
    January 3, 2003
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    don't touch it!

    that painted a gorgeous picture in my head. the illusions that occur when i read your work are amazing!


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    January 3, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    Oh, m'gosh. Your work causes me to hold my breath. So very beautiful. A DREAM of a Metaphor. Class A language. Tight, polished.


    P.S. I think you'd like ' Left of Eden' which I contributed to a challenge by a very good writer. Anyhow. It sounds like our surreal dress-ups come from the same silk factory! (Grin)
    Sonnet is outstanding. Ok. I'll stop now. LOL....Blessings, CookieZeal
    Edited by CookieZeal on right now.


  • January 3, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    don't touch it!

    oustanding... the best poetry i have read for a long time i think... some of the pictures are stunning, so subtle and delicate but completely blow away 'small time tiaras' - argh, HOW much do I wish I'd written that line???

  • FrangibleEuphony
    January 3, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    wow... i love the words that you use... and yay!! i'm the first comment! sorry... got all excited about that. heehee. i cant wait to see more of your poems.

1 - 26 of 26