Sloth's Deceitful Grin
Sonnet VII
Melancholy, steeped inside portrayal
hopelessly retained where trapped inside
abysmal days, are years long much denied
where steadily they backtrack to a crawl.
From there, the darkest mysteries suffice
to notably less worthy ones that formed;
destroying most, the charities less warmed
and having lost the best things life made nice.
from inside looking out the bleak released
is thus caved in, whilst others looking in,
Can see, what changed in sloth’s deceitful grin
was living life like death, and now deceased.
how idleness conceives to closing eyes,
when making it the master of diguise.
Sonnet VIII
An idle's worth too close for comfort for,
shall dream pretentious longing for a fool,
to whom acknowledged-wise it rather cruel
she hide that sin from him as did before.
I ask you, hast there further been concern,
for afterthought to chief pursue what love,
aghast, hath I determined she remove
the only clothing, nakedness shall spurn.
How sloth and intervention shall oppose;
concede to follow suit, that idleness
wilt love the indignation further less
than any least forbidden why, she chose.
Then what is love if love for the return,
of effort; can but not be tested; Learn!
Author notes
Written January 3rd, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I can defintaly identify with this one. I think alot of people ahve moments where what they say falls upo deaf ears, and it is a feeling that what was said , well bluntly, the person that spok then might as well be a ghost trying to communicate. Well done
love you
angel
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thank you! thats beautiful
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I know what heartbreak is. You think your dating "the one" for 4 months and he turns out to be a lying jerk. Keep up the awesome poetry!!!
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thats very deep, also i have asked for one more thing, i'm sorry for all the rules, but i have asked that you share what the poem means to you.. so i know that it is deep and meaningful like i asked. but that is a creative and diffrent poem, but i do love it
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Awesome write!
What is tinder wood? Just a question. I've heard of Timber wood but not tinder wood. can you define please? But this was short and sweet overall, just as you are Tony
Marianne
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Very good
this one was cute and I liked it but um I dont know how to IM so I am speaking to you through this comment thing -
I am not sure I understand it, but I like the flow and rhyming. While I can't make out a solid analytic meaning, it sets a mood that I can feel. It's one of those things that just isn't quite there in my logical, mathematical mind no matter how far I overanalyze it, and I like that.
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was that honestly the worst you come do.
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Shitty
this was ok but i think mine was shittier,though -
A poem, in my opinion, is meant to make the readers think. This poem fulfills exactly the requirements for the thought process. I see a fire burning, and then suddenly, unexpectedly, I see death in this piece. Brilliant work.
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I like this poem, I agree with Inawe, it is a wonderful poem even though its so short! I havent ever read such a short poem, and actually thought it was great! Good write!
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neutral
ive just re-read that and it sounds as if im almost trying to analyse you...im not. im sorry. i should have just said its a great poem and left it at that. x -
neutral
some people say short poems are not as good as longer ones... i cant understand their logic. i think it is wonderful the way you have got so much emotion and explanation in to so short a space... i love this in the way it is simple and easy to read and focus on yet it contains such complex ideas and words. i hope this makes sence... anyway. im impressed. so much so im about to go read something else of yours. x -
neutral
this flows really well and I love your choice of words...I read on your author page that you like to make people think with your poetry-even after thinking about this I cant grasp the main concept of it. Perhaps if you hinted a small bit at the point it'd have more of an impact on the reader. -
neutral
i love your style
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