Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Lycan

Missing image
Rose petals grace the grass,
among musky strands of dog hair
Taking with them to their graves,
an undying secret of death's affair

Come, devour with me my love,
take what you wish from my blood
I care not for life is but illusion,
and I wish to be cleansed by your transfusion

Elaborating the dark for night,
craving the thirst for human life
Dampen my mind with thoughts of hate,
and fill my soul with undying rage

I wish to make my enemies pay,
for all their sins with their lives one day
Fill me with blood of the lycan,
and let me taste victory best as I can

Set me free among the night's embrace,
and by morning I will have ended the chase
All it takes is just one silent night,
for my maternal rage to take flight

I accept my actions forthwith,
and swear to keep the hairy dog a myth
For my secret will stand with me eye to eye,
as I howl to the moon under the blood red sky..

 

Author notes


Written August 14th, 2005

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 59 of 59

  • DeathtoloveShade gold member
    March 12

    Edit | Reply

    I absoutely loved it

    your writing has so much emotion behind it. i can feel it within me when i read it. thats not something one is taught. keep it up> s


  • C.orruption
    March 2

    Edit | Reply
    "I wish to make my enemies pay,
    for all their sins with their lives one day
    Fill me with blood of the lycan,
    and let me taste victory best as I can" Love that line! You can really feel the emotion along with it when you read it alowed, great job!


  • nightingale
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    yes!

    i absolutely love it. you know, we are very much alike, you and i. very much alike....

    your writing has so much emotion behind it. i can feel it within me when i read it. thats not something one is taught. keep it up


  • movedon
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I accept my actions forthwith,
    and swear to keep the hairy dog a myth

    made me think of my puppy..all frozen in the snow...

    mylee


  • poeticweaver gold member
    May 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well Done,

    You have a type of write here that captivates the reader on many levels, the content, flow, and imagery. I liked it a-lot.. Thanks for sharing, and keep up the wonderful works poet. Peace, Timothy aka poeticweaver~

  • Shadow Darkstar
    December 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Ooh ooh ooh!

    Sounds like I could use this as a spell...(I'm kinda onyl slightly part Wiccan). x] Honestly, whenever you're not talking to me through whatever...I constantly feel hate && revenge. I constantly seem very pissy, bitchy && angry, like I hate the world. (Wait. I do hate the world. Wtf am I saying?) Then again, I'm also part Dragon, so my hate runs a bit deeper than most. Anyhoot. Yeah I liked this one a lot. It's got that magical fantasy twist on it a bit. Another favorite. I'll have to find out how to make a list of poems by other users. I saw someone make a list entitled "Favorite poems by other users"...

    ♠ Mell ♠


  • TheElfa
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Job

    I enjoy the rhyming of "illusion" and "transfusion" in the second stanza. I also enjoyed the thought of "elaborating the dark for night," it's a very nice verb choice. I lost any rhyme scheme around the third stanza, which kind of makes a slightly awkward break in the poem. The fourth stanza is also a little rough. Lastly, the phrase "blood red sky" is used to the point of oblivion and it doesn't quite flow with the rhythm created by previous lines. Nice job, however, and nice topic.


  • knitonepearlone
    April 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    'as I howl to the moon under the blood red sky'
    Geat line to end an excellent, dark write. You have used some evocative imagery in this well crafted piece. Thanks for sharing.


  • MiZZ-AmAyA
    April 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    favorite line:

    "an undying secret of death's affair"

    This poem is thought out rather well. I have a fascination with werewolves so I wanted to read this. I think you have some really beautiful imagery in this piece. Good job.

  • LyricalHeritage
    February 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece. My favorite like was 'I wish to make my enemies pay' hehe Indeed revenge is sweet. But asides from this the stanzas are well set and there is good imagery. The fact that the poem is a little 'dark' adds to its appeal. Never stop expanding yourself as a writer and and exploring your talents. A good write. Keep penning.


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    October 7, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Superb/Fun/Intriguing/Unique

    A great dark write, I liked the suspense built in, it kept me reading.


  • Soulful Woman silver member
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very cool and interesting piece. Great job
    Soulful Woman


  • camo.egg.army.gurl
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    truely intresting. i loved this. my friends all think i am weird because i like reading dark things even though i am not that great at writing them myself.


  • Shacadia Shay
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is really kool i lyk the way you've written this. it dark & emotional & misterious.
    --Blessed be--
    Bradhadair


  • Kari gold member
    September 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    dark

    Wow Hun this was so very dark from you compared to the other two writes lol..it was so good and chilling.
    I could picture everything in my mind...I love that graphic.

    Kari


  • Solus
    August 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very good piece. Dark imagery, seemed to really have a wild savagery under it all, making it even more ominous and scary. Loved your word choice and the reason you gave behind the desire for the transformation was intriguing and different. This felt fresh, natural and real. Well done.


  • Thundercat
    June 2, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is very well written and thought out. I loved your various images and their power in producing a scary, yet betrayed, persona. I haven't read much poetry like this, but this one is very good. I think you did a great job of using binary opposition to explain the actions of the persona. (She is a mother, seeking revenge). I don't have any critical comments to make, so I will just have to give you some appluase. Well done.

    Thundercat


  • Miss Faerie Greeters member
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow... this is amazing.. the rhyme and flow is excellent and you manage to engage the reader with descriptive imagery and a story in so few words
    I am deeply impressed
    Faerie


  • Blazing White Wolf
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    lots of very good imagery and the story told very creatively. a very beautiful tale of fantasy
    love and light
    blaze


  • KirstyAnne
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very original and very emotional, I can feel the pain here and the wanting...keep up the great work.


  • ennovy silver member
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    brilliant masterpiece

    Totally beautiful! You have captured the essence of the werwolf/vampire....excellent piece of poetic art! Write ON!...ennovy


  • hks
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is truly cool!
    lykans = new and cool


  • Simply Bohemian
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Well being presbioptic , I had a difficult time with the small print however I faired well enough to enjoy this work and that wonderful imagery that you so masterfully set here to take the reader on a magical colorful ride!
    Great read
    A true show of talent!

    Edited on Jun 01, 11:07 p.m. because ''.


  • EidolonDesires
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is so cool. I wish people would write more about lycans. Everyone writes about vampires...and indeed i love them, but i love hearing about lycans as well. I am just a big myth buff. But anyways, this was captivating, you kept my attention the entire time. Nicely done
    much love,
    ~Chris~

  • Sins
    June 1, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I lkie it, Nice write. you get an A+ in presentation. I could see what was goin on. nice imagery.


  • Duobat
    February 25, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    anticipated shivers down my spine

    I LOVE WEREWOLVES!! - and this is the first poem about them that I've read. It certainly had me caught up in rapture the whole way through. I especially liked the imagery of "Set me free among the nights embrace" and the ending -
    "For my secret will stand with me eye to eye,
    As I howl to the moon under the blood red sky.." of course. It was definately haunting(as has been said by others) and gave me the very clear image of the night-wolf that I have been searching for in writing. Very good! MORE WOLVES!!


  • RubberDuckyDestiny
    December 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    dark and beautiful...wonderful subject i love this poem. great job!
    Firefly


  • Sedasia
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    APPLAUSE

    I was stolen to this by the damn title and I'm now stolen by the words that followed. I love the heart of this write..such ritualistic tones and hunger of the beast displayed. I love werewolves...they are my favorite character even before the Dracula character or the "vampire". To me they are so interesting and this poem showed me a look at them again in your way. Lovely, dark and enchanting work Ryan.

    I loved this:

    For my secret will stand with me eye to eye,
    As I howl to the moon under the blood red sky..

    Eye to eye...is quite a powerful choice of words.
    Applause
    Edited on Nov 20, 12:41 because 'another damn typo '.

  • ShadowedxIllusions
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed reading this, I've been fascinated with Lycans and Vampires ever since I was younger, and this has satisfied my hunger for the day. Thankyou for sharing this with us, ^^.


  • ebaby
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    good poem

    an intersting poem and i do like it..... great work....


  • greeneyedmuse
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i so heart the movie underworld!!!!! was this based upon it, cause i could totally see that. lovely piece, very dark and mysterious and so beautiful. great write and keep up the great work!
    ~sammy

  • WoundedStarlight
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    wow!!! very nice

    wow.. very nice write. amazingly deep in a very kool and dark way! luv it!!


  • Catressa gold member
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely write honey I liked more so the lines,
    "A undying secret of death's affair" and "For my secret will stand with me eye to eye" for some reason they stick out with me the most..

  • by these eyes
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    This is an amazingly moving piece... and actually gives the reader an image to work with. It has a beautiful flow and draws the reader in with the first few words. I loved it.


  • IrishYndina
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Why aren't werewolves as popular as vampires? I almost think they're more interesting...but that's just me Very interesting piece, a bit haunting (as others have pointed out) and a bit angry. I wonder who you're thinking of chasing down as a lycan...hm... Anyways, a couple of small typo-type things to take a look at when you get a chance. Line 4: should be an undying, not a undying. Line 17: nights embrace should have a possessive apostrophe - night's embrace. Line 19: is there a reason the word Just is capitalized? It doesn't seem to serve any kind of poetic purpose...you're not personifying "just," for instance. Anyways, this certainly was a fun read, and I enjoyed it a lot. I especially liked the images of rose petals associated with werewolves...somehow appropriate, although I don't think I would have thought of it myself. Thanks for sharing!


  • grannyeri gold member
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Well written poem about this topic - easy to read and understand. Creative picture and creative writing too, Well done.

  • AntisocialSocialist
    November 20, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting and a little haunting. Good work.


  • Aegirs Datter
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Ahh, dark and haunting, scary and intriguing - I loved the deep dark images, yet there is an undertone of humour - the hair of the dog!
    Loved it poet, loved it!


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    appears the werewolf is on the warpath, howling and raising cane to see if he can get attention,the write is so nice and neat flows with a rhytm ,chacing each word to keep with with flow so so nice and exciting to read good job! Linda

  • deadwalksagaininme
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow special it is indeed i liked it and its kool well thanks for letting me read it

  • piccola silver member
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You might want to check your spelling rose peddals is petals .. I don't usually read dark things; or write them. I'm no good at it. But I clicked on this thinking maybe it was just about wolves. I forgot the time of year It was good for the genre..I'm glad I clicked.


  • camus gold member
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I have to admit to having no particular liking for this dark poetry but since I have an open mind I decided to read and review it anyway. The imagery is crisp, raw and suitably bloodthirsty in an engaging way and the diction is effective in reinforcing the theme of savagery and menace. Perhaps the real skill lies in the poet's ability to shock and amuse simultaneously. camus
    Edited on Oct 03, 12:56 because ''.

  • Vampiric Kisses
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is simply amazing. You write with such confidince and splendor. I really liked how you used the word 'lycan' instead of 'werewolf'; it made it much more interesting and authentic.

  • LadyMidnight07
    October 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow! definilty spiffy.dark yet oddly inviting
    i do not usually like other people portrayls of werecreatures,but you did a stupendis job!

  • Arianna Liadon
    September 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow, this poem astounds me, the rhyming is so care free, it is more like the rhythm of the poem then actual rhyming. I loved the whole thing as a complete and wonderful master piece. It is a grand piece, and I will have to read many more by you now, unfortunatly it will have to wait for a while though. Well good luck with all your ventures, and keep up the magnificant work.

    Arianna Liadon


  • September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    this is really good. the imagery and colours are great, feels really raw and dark.


  • IamMEg
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write - the rhyme scheme is unpredicatable, but it flows well. Interesting topic - good decriptive imagery ... thanks for sharing.


  • September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Now this was different. Wow. you amaze me everytime I read.. this verse was just .. well lets just it had a lot of meaning and emotion in it that I thought should be known: *Come, devour with me my love, Take what you wish from my blood I care not for life is but illusion, And I wish to be cleansed by your transfusion* this illusion of not only life but love is there and it causes the reader to take a step back and go oh wow. Another verse in this poem that makes a lot of sense and that makes me feel the emotional rage of just one night: *Set me free among the nights embrace, and by morning I will have ended the chase All it takes is Just one silent night, For my maternal rage to take flight*... I know we are talking about the lycan here.. but honestly Celtic you have done a great job for emotional humanity as well... great job and keep up the awesome work.


  • cyan9
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting at the end, but the line:

    Among emerald strands of dog hair

    puts me off a bit, for what reason would dog hair be emerald green????


  • September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    *shudders* hmm very good... i particularly like the imagery and description in the first stanza...yes...
    keep up the good work!


  • ceXee
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow what a cool lil warewolf poem! i never knew that lycan meant warewolf but i do now . really really good

  • kingschosen
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very original!!! I like it. Just watch out of those Vampire buggers...I know you guys don't get along.


  • budderfly silver member
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    (Lost my connection before my comment posted.... grr.)
    Indeed a good write! You have a way of gently drawing the reader into your words and imagery.
    With a smile,
    budderfly~

  • darrylblacksr
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    chilling but amazing

    this is amazing! tttruly a fine write. Thanks for sharing it.
    looking forward to seeing much more in the not to near future.

  • Jason Logan
    September 13, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Incredible Work

    catpuring the mindset of something else is hard. Capturing it that well is incredible. I feel the raging bloodlust of the Werewolf in this poem and it smells of death. Daddy like.

    Ciao

  • OurxBeginning
    September 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is really good, very creative, I like the pic..spooky lol. Awesome job, I hope to read more, best of luck to you.


  • vampireblood
    September 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow very awesome....i really enjoyed reading this it had some really good imagery....and the metaphors were magnificent...overall the poem totally rocked..great job
    ~~~Vampireblood~~~


  • August 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    wow...
    It's bone chilling to read and yet you want to read more. You captured a brilliant atmosphere here. The metaphors, similes and general imagery in here was brilliant. It's rather supernatural but then again you can't really fill a poem with a load of scientific ideas it tends to ruin the mood. any way...
    amazing write.

  • The Broken One
    August 14, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I took a quiz...and it says I'm a werewolf Does that make this a third poem about me?! No?? Damn This is great though. I love it, really. I love supernatural stuff and I can relate to some of the feelings in this Especially recently...Wonderful write, Ryan. As always.

1 - 59 of 59