Lisa says,
they were old,
stained with love
I said
noting that they were gone,
along with the hole where my finger slid.
Her eyes are wide and innocent
making bread with her fingertips
her leg sawing on my knee
as if I would forget
while we tangled the sheets
the noise of the street
rumbling through the open window
the sirens on the sidewalks
whistling about sins
wrapped up in her arms
I stare at the disordered drawer
the flight of colored cloth
all the trinkets
that came from the store
and I wash up on her shore
once more,
they were old
Lisa says
reaching for a robe
while the city sighs.
I guess so,
my eyes heavy
my hands slow.
Author notes
allpoetry.com/Poem/999810
Written August 14th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
-
This is a nice and romantc poem but I am at a total loss as to what it has to do with smut about butts! But I'll put you on my faves as a consolation prize.
-
Great descriptions, I admire anyone who can make a love poem unique.
-
Such cool language on such a hot topic. Congratulations on a well deserved win.
-
I love this. You created great imagery and took me right there in the room. Ty for sharing...Trina.
-
nice!!!!1
-
I'm looking for the Thief. But I stopped along the way....
-
a lesson in how be sexy, sensous, loving and sensitive, all at the same time. no wonder you got the gold; woulda been a shock if you hadn't. congrats!
-
perfection!!!
watched this one from afar..
glad you got the gold
well deserved in my opinion -
Congratulations
-free -
I agreed with Cisco in my readings -- this was definitely the winner.
-
APPRECIATIVE
this is sensual at its best and do so politely
-
Damn! I think you’ve aced it with this one, Lute. An impressive poem. It’s got heart, libido, and poetic artistry. I really dig the lines: “noting that they were gone, along with the hole where my finger slid.” Good stuff!
“and I wash up on her shore once more…” That’s a gold trophy line, Lute.
Gotta love a poem like this! Thanks for entering it in my contest.
~Cisco
-
Why didn't I guess I would find you in a contest as seedy as this? Nicely done, Lute.
-
I like the story, I like the layers - the male-female differences in perception, especially when it comes to underthings - and I really appreciate the skill of the poet. Nice.
-
"my eyes heavy
my hands slow"
sounds rumbling like Mr Cohen does in my pathetic wishy dreams a bit -
-
this poem is thought provoking, and very well written. I agree with jabberwocky, its subtley erotic. great job, good luck to you in the contest :]
-
Subtle eroticism is how I'd have to describe this. Ironic that to her, they were just an old pair of panties, but to him, they were full of memories of intimate moments shared.
Wonderful job, wishing you the best of luck in the contest!!! -
What I liked about this poem is there were at least two lines that really made me think:
making bread with her fingertips
her leg sawing on my knee
when images do that you have succeeded in using language successfully.
-
yes it is most excellent. i love the sawing leg ..
good luck. you contest whore.
-
this is most excellent...
billy -
This is so wonderfully erotic without a trace of discourtesy. That's something you don't see often... I love making bread, washing up on shore. Just lovely.
-
Yummy sexy goodness...and comfy panties now gone. Like the way the words sort of hum a tune as they float along. Wonderful.
--- for the juices of love
-
"they were old and stained with love" Is that waht they call it now? hehehe.
Hey, no drunken slobberknockering here this is actually quite sweet.....well except for the hole and sliding finger thingy.
Desiree
Adding your comment:
1 - 24 of 24
22 old applause
