I lined up the half-empty paper cups
in front of you,
imaginary love,
and asked you to scale down
the options.
I chose for you,
an aid to your lethargy,
but you tipped down the cups.
And I watched the liquid
gush out from them,
making no attempt
to mop it off.
I'd like to think you'd clean
your own mess. But you only
watched it dry.
in front of you,
imaginary love,
and asked you to scale down
the options.
I chose for you,
an aid to your lethargy,
but you tipped down the cups.
And I watched the liquid
gush out from them,
making no attempt
to mop it off.
I'd like to think you'd clean
your own mess. But you only
watched it dry.
Author notes
written on tissue, while talking about conversational Plato with my friends.
thanks to BlkWiddow for noticing the boo-boo.
Written August 13th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Yeah, the last line was a bit too telling. Thanks for the suggestion. I might delete that line or tinker with it.
Wow, William Carlos Williams. And yes, I love that poem. Is it "This is just to say..."? I can't quite grasp the title now, but I remember the title clearly.
Thanks for the revision suggestions. I've been desperate for some.
Kannika -
Somehow this rings to me of William Carlos William's Plum Poem.
Which of course is quite complimentary.
Tucked in my purse is a poem I wrote on a paint chip (green apple) while working on a Habitat for Humanity house in the soybean fields of North Carolina.
I kinda like it without the last line too.
Nice writing .. off to read some more.
Lisa -
not really.maybe you should brief me on that one. i'm pretty amateur.
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You definitely should. Are you familair with slam poetry?-Curtis
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Well, I haven't been actually given the chance, but I'll try. Thanks so much for the comments.
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Wow. By chance do you slam/perform spoken word poetry onstage? if not, I think you should definitely consider it, because somethign like this most certainly has the imagery and emotion to knock an audienc out of their chairs.-Curtis Meyer
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Ah, I see. Yes i can see where you were having a philosophical turn of mind here. I haven't dipped into Platos in a very long time, so I don't suppose I remember enough of him, to compare your thought in this by. However, I must say that I'm confused...
Perhaps it was some context I know longer remember from Platos, but in the beginning you say the cups are empty. Then a few stanzas later, you say that they are knocked over have spilled everywhere... but weren't they empty?? -
thanks. it is an honor to be compared in passing to someone as great as Dorothy Parker.
I like your username by the way.
Kannika -
Great metaphorical use from which I was able to feel the connection. It put me in mind of some poems of Dorothy Parker's I've read in the past concerning relationships. Nice job.
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Hi Rohina. THanks so much.
Ok, I will try to get published. haha. That's definitely a goal. Thanks for the encouragement. It means so much especially coming from someone as talented as you are.
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your metaphors are AMAZING kannika...i really truely admire your work so much. There are several poems of yours that i can just read again and again. I think this one is gonna rank high on the list of my fav poems of yours.
Burnt knuckles and assumed amnesia are definetly few of the new ones i really loved reading. This one also has a certain polished quality to it (like do all of your other poems)
why dont u try and get your work published? There are so many options available on AP frm time to time...u should try your luck....you are sooo talented...you have no clue
keep writing...and ill definetly keep reading
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