You’re lost amid your own heart’s desire
Writing out all your dreams in spite of you
Confusions among ashes of that fire
Inside a darkness with no light to view
Alone you fear there is no place to hide
When face to face with your wildest dream
What would you say when there’s nothing inside?
Trying to hold onto a splitting seam
The truth is there, just open up your eyes
You are like us, and are never alone
Faith, hope and joy shall silence all your cries
When you look to find a love all your own
Don’t expect love when just learning to live
When it comes though, take as much as you give
Author notes
Written for a special girl that asked me if I cared...
Written August 9th, 2005
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What I said before I still mean and can't say any better. Perfect for the one that inspired you. Just beautiful and oh so true. YAY!
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It's the Moxie...
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You've hit it again Yem... The message was more important to me in this one... and what I see of my friend now, is not what I see of her in the future...
You hold a wisdom beyond anything I have experienced Yem... Thank you for your kindness and support
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I didn't try to stick to Iambic on this one... I think I really just focused on what I wanted to say to the friend that seems to be in a very confused and lonely place...
I don't know if I'll edit... as the message came across crystal clear... but I may at some point to clean up the rhythm and make it even stronger...
Thank you Margaret
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Well yeah, the first two quatrains are dark, but necessarily so, because they announce the struggle of the sonnet...without that darkness, you can't illustrate what you wish this person to see, or to change from.
The last two lines are not only a great conclusion but are words that I've lived...more than once.
Actually this sonnet is Margaretish...in that it is a poem meant to instruct and influence. Something she writes fairly often.
Edited on Aug 09, 9:10 p.m. because 'my typing stinks'. -
Great!
This is lovely EC. The first two quatrains are a little dark, and you've used several words to reinforce that impression, lost, confusion, ashes and of course darkness. The second quatrain has a more frightening emotional content, which makes the reversal in the third quatrain very effective. I like the reassurance that we have been there and life is not really that bad. The couplet is a great conclusion, and good advice.
The iambs are not perfect, but the rhymes are.
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