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Love's Death

The night falls with a silent sigh, lost am I.
The light for which I pray
Flares once, then dies,
Consumed by the all-encompassing dark.
As all hope must die.

Your love is no more.
How could you abandon me?
Shadows surround me, crying,
I have lost my light.

Author notes

This is for 7. Write about a lost love.

Written August 9th, 2005

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Shadowspawn
    August 16, 2005
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    Thank you La Belle for the kind words. Sorry that you had to experience this kind pain to fully understand this.


  • La Belle Rouge
    August 16, 2005
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    emotive

    Anyone having had this experience can certainly appreciate this poem. So well penned and deeply emotive SS.


  • Shadowspawn
    August 12, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the kind words.


  • antique
    August 12, 2005
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    this is really sad and to the point, a very emotive piece, nicely done .... good luck in the contest hun

    ~Aimee


  • Rowynlia
    August 11, 2005
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    great

    Short, sweet and to the point. This is a great poem. I can see that you may have been hurt, and I know how that feels. You put feeling into this piece and i applaud you for it.


  • E A Collins
    August 11, 2005
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    Short, abeit mercifully so. This subject, lost love, is the grist of 1,000,000 poems. To show merit, one must strive to do it better, or that being impossible, differently. Unfortunately, I found this neither. The alliteration was interesting for a moment, but not carried through. The imagery was not consistant , either. If you are in complete darkness, there are no shadows.
    Try extending this work and using one or more strong poetic devices ( alliteration for instance).
    Peace,
    Ed

  • passionate tears
    August 11, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    awsome

    this was really good. when you find that light you should try and hold onto it, but in some cases the best thing u ca do is let it go. you put good structure in this poem and i can tell it's from the heart.


  • fae
    August 10, 2005
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    Ah what to say? Perhaps only that we are blessed with more than one, two or even ten lights in our lives. Some lights shine brighter than others; leaving those left shining dimly, but consistently. Whatever you may find to light your way, may it be, if not the former, then certainly the latter.

    How's that for ambiguity Ah


  • August 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I feel your pain, and I feel your heart.... It is not easy.. this is very well said!


  • Shadowspawn
    August 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for the kind words.

  • OurxBeginning
    August 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Aaaw sad.. , but I can easily relate, and I like that sense about this, amazing job

1 - 11 of 11