Walking through tunnels of lost and broken souls
Surrounded by the loathsome flames of hell
Stepping around fire filled wholes
Breathing in the ever present sulfur smell
Followed by screams of pain
Endless begs and pleas
Over and over again souls are slain
The torment will never cease
Walking in constant shadow
Through dense unholy mist
Satan's imps howling from above and below
Waiting to administer deaths sweet kiss
Running through the devils lair
Over floors made of coals
Reciting the lords prayer
As blinding smoke rolls
As I round the next turn
I run into Satan's unholy arms
His mere touch starts my skin to burn
Sending through my body painful alarms
I don’t even fight as he drags me away
Deeper into the dark and mist
For I am here to stay
I condemned myself to this
Author notes
Written August 8th, 2005
A contest entry
- Bury Me In Black #2 (dark poetry) by EvenStarsBreak--x.
450 points, ended April 2, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5 Options...enter...now...or suffer! {Prewrites now allowed!} by vampireblood.
430 points, ended April 30, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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() great write i love this work tizz a fantisic peace thanks for entring and good luck in my contest
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very stunning
"Walking in constant shadow
Through dense unholy mist
Satan's imps howling from above and below
Waiting to administer deaths sweet kiss"
Was my favorite part... good job and thanks for entering my contest. -
OMFG!!! there are no words to describe this, this wonderful work of art, if you dont mind, i would like to add you to my favorites list, i love your work, and you can be sure that i will be back for more, this was an awesome poem, not even that, more like fucking awesome, no there arnt any words to describe how much i love it, you have a lot of talent, never stop writing!!!!
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Stunning. This is wonderful. Each stanza had a magnificent power and the descpription and the rhyme was al superb. I particularly liked:
"I run into Satan's unholy arms
His mere touch starts my skin to burn
Sending through my body painful alarms"
These 3 lines were amazing, I like how you mixed up the lines (not sure I am making myself clear) what I mean is, you have written "Sending through my body painful alarms" normally it would sound "Sending painful alarms through my body"... Sorry if it wasn't intended, but I liked the effect. Great job on this. It is stunning.
--
Becky
Edited on Aug 14, 4:19 because ''. -
wow...that's amazing. VERY excellent poem.
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I really liked this one, a great read and i could almost smell the despair. good job.
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oh my goodness this was amazing very dark and powerful i absouletly loved it! great work!
~violet
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this poem is too good to desribe....all i gotta say is...WOW!
It So deep -
"Stepping around fire filled wholes"
Was this intentially spelt wrong? interesting if it was, if not fair plays. Interesting poem and your take on hell but the ending feels.. unfinished. as if you've left something un said or un-finished.. -
superb
wow feels like hell is not aplace for me...excellent poem ..it was long and held my interest...so descriptive ...felt like I was there, too....peace -
that was awesome description of hell
I'm not really one who likes rhyming poetry but I really loved this piece
It gives a good idea of your enviroment which sets up for a good ending with the devil.....good luck with your soul
westicle -
Great use of descritive words.
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sad
this is the portrait of a condemned soul- one who satan has his grip on here, in real life, and, when one dies that way, yes they will be condemned. but it doesn't have to be that way. you can ask God to wrap his loving arms around you and protect you... monica
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Walking through tunnels of lost and broken souls
Surrounded by the loathsome flames of hell
Stepping around fire filled wholes
Breathing in the ever present sulfur smell
Followed by screams of pain
Endless begs and pleas
Over and over again souls are slain
The torment will never cease
Walking in constant shadow
Through dense unholy mist
Satan's imps howling from above and below
Waiting to administer deaths sweet kiss
that paints a perfect picture of hell and being condemned...good job ~Rush -
awwwe this is very sad... but VERY good! i truly loved it! its amazing! great write! its beautiful!
x0x <3 Casey x0x
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