Critical

absently denied by the
locked key hole barricaded
from the inside out
i find my pride in a little
jar half outside and
smash it with a nerve ending
and my bloodshot eyes collide

but i, undamaged by what
could have been self indulgence
lying in a man eating blob
on my bedroom floor,
take full responsibility
in the animosity my chaos caused
he said i know how to put up a fight
and cave under the weight
he said I'll never get it right

but half of what he says feels
like a mix of apple pie and razor blades
back home to the barricade
the ring leader twirls his pretty baton
and all who follows sips the well
but instead i have these words laid out
inside my my head
and my actions on pages tucked under my bed

he told me to mark my words or he'll wash my
tongue out with soap
so silly of me to bight my tragedy
with the sandy whites that sustain me
for if you play your words right you have
a date for Saturday night
and if you get far enough you might see mars
outside the corner of your eye

but if your words play against you
you have a mug shot stapled to a law suit
with the scent of money fresh out of
your pocket
and your pride in a blob on your bedroom floor
beside a jar that you kept on a shelf
that you flung against a wall because
it never meant anything to you at all