I saw you standing there that day.
You smiled I smiled,you smiled again.
I turned and started to walk away.
But could not forget that silly grin.
Your face lit up with a pinkish hue.
Your eyes they sparkled like the morning dew.
Your hair was flowing in the wind.
And then I saw you smile again.
My heart skipped a beat or two.
Like an arrow shot so straight, so true.
It pierced my heart and then I knew.
I was falling in love,then I smiled at you.
I reached out and touched your hand that day.
I pulled you closer in a gentle way.
I said I love you I really do.
You smiled and said I love you too.
Then I kissed your burnin cheek.
You looked at me but you did not speak.
Your sparkling lips came closer to mine.
We kissed and lost all track of time.
Our lives had changed it was plain to see.
Nothin else mattered just you and me.
We rode like the wind we cared not where.
Faster and faster we knew no fear.
We found a place we called our own.
Where we could have some time alone.
We laughed we talked we were both at ease.
The only sound was the wind in the trees.
Our love grew stronger each passing day.
We knew our love was here to stay.
Like the wind blowing on a calm sea.
Nothing mattered just you and me.
One day as we traveled down life's highway.
We made a wrong turn and lost our way.
It was a path we had never traveled before.
When we came to the end you were there no more.
I saw no more that beautiful smile on your face.
I saw only tears and sadness in it's place.
I felt like a leaf caught up in the wind.
When it fell to the ground never to rise again.
I saw no more that sparkle in your eyes.
More hurt more pain than I realized.
That exciting smile has turned into a frown.
I knew that love I had lost would never be found.
Author notes
I hope you enjoy reading this, this was very difficult to write because it was taken from a time in my life and written from the heart.
Wingsofgold25
Posted August 7th. 2005
A contest entry
- For poets who are sick of seeing contest that are invite only and no pre writes allowed by angelinthelight17.
300 points, ended October 31, 2006, 39 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOVE LOST by Darc Soul.
300 points, ended March 2, 2007, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Gonna Wannna Use Those Unlimited Entries by TWiSTEDxCUPCAKE.
700 points, ended April 22, 2007, 66 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A GROUP FOR ALL POETS ONLY MEMBER'S by Darc Soul.
300 points, ended July 7, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - INVITE ONLY CONTEST by Darc Soul.
700 points, ended September 5, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 81-85 ages enter your best prewrite Judged by RedwingSpirit.
300 points, ended January 18, 2008, 1 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My 30th Contest! Your Best Pre-write Ever! by Salt Therapy.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Of The Best by Partners In Crime.
725 points, ended October 18, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 75 of 75
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This is so beautiful and congratulations
to you on all of your well deserved trophies!
Good luck in our contest here!
Jeremy0826 -
I think I have experienced this moment in my own life recently, when the sparkle just disapears, well written here. Best to you in the contest
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Awe love is a fickle thing here today then gone the next cherish it hold it in your heart and morn its passing. Hold on to the hope that you will love again.
The Positives:
Great emotional peice that really captures sorrow of a lost love
The Negatives:
Nothing that I see great job
My Favorite Part:
I saw no more that beautiful smile on your face.
I saw only tears and sadness in it's place.
I felt like a leaf caught up in the wind.
When it fell to the ground never to rise again.
I really could feel your heart breaking in this!
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
I've had a time like that, and I can relate. This piece was so well written, I enjoyed it thoroughly. Great job. Simply put. Great job. Excellent write and good luck in my contest!
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This had a wonderful flow andI love how you described every detail of the smile, the love, the pain. It was a truly amazing poem.
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I really enjoyed this poem. I think the rhyme was perfect, and didn't sound forced, and it flowed terribly well. Great job! =)
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In my opinion when you speak words from the heart, it is the truest form of "real" poetry. I thought this was very well written and I could feel the love and the pain. Thanks for sharing this personal poem. Many Blessings, FAH
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Sorry..forgot your clappy's.
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This is so sadly beautiful, and it is quite obvious that it was truly written straight from the heart. These are some very painful feelings shared, and you did a great job putting them into poem form. Blessings to you, Patty
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Wow, I almost made me cry from the emotions about this relationship. I usually don't like rhyme but you pulled off.
Keep it up, I must say every stanza was my favorite
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Beautiful poem. Extremely deep and meaningful, sad as well. Some parts were a bit awkward and forced rhyming was prevalent in the poem, but the excruciating true story overshadows such trivial errors. Good job in all, and good luck in the contest!
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"I saw no more of that beautiful smile on your face.
I saw only tears and sadness in it's place.
I felt like a leaf caught up in the wind.
When it fell to the ground never to rise again."
That is incredibly sad. Very simplistic, like a conversation you'd have with your friend, but it has rhyme and clever similes thrown in. I liked this; no wonder it has so many trophies!
Thanks for entering. -
I think I've read this poem before, and I have to say, I enjoyed it every bit as much the second time, even more! it truly is a beautiful write, full of emotion and a sense of sorrow. you write really well, the poem has a great flow to it. overall, a great read! thanks so much for entering the contest, best of luck!
peace ♥ -
Yes, I do like it. Thanks for sharing this wonderfully full of imagery and I love the background too. All in all this is a wonderful little write. Thanks for entering it into my contest
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OH my word this is absoutly heart tugging pure poetry love in motion. I loved it and felt so sad to read you lost that one true love!
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This one's so heart felt, and the ending so sad! Amazing image in your words, and perfectly capturing your emotions!
Best of luck ^_^
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Beautiful...best of luck in the contest
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I guess it's a kind of love so many of us can relate too...
one way or another....but it's possible to find love again...and sometimes even better....I know because I was there too....
So don't give up on that...everything might be possible
Even winning in this contest my friend
XXJeannette
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It's absolutely beautiful and breathtakingly sad. It starts so promisingly wonderful but twists into an emotional ouch and sob in the end. Good luck, it's great
~Katie -
beautifully written hun, i think many can identify in some way or another with diff aspects of this write if not all of it. You know its a truly powerful piece when it pours from your heart and soul and touches others the same, thank you for sharing and good luck.
Tasha
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This is a beautiful piece of poetry. The rhyming is perfect. The ending threw me because i wasn't expecting such a beautiful love to end in tragedy.
Very well written and very heartfelt.
Thank you for sharing
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Nicely Done
This is very nicely done my friend. I liked the way your words painted a very clear picture. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Countrybabe
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Oh my! This write is fantastic, I got lost within your words and could imagine all the happenings. Nice, nice work! Best wishes always Dove
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Sometimes it takes losing someone to realize how special they are to us i hope you find all the happiness life has to offer good luck in the contest
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I hope after reading this you are in a happier time of your life. Do you by any chance have a happy sequel? Thank you for entering.
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So sad, the type of poem I can thoroughly enjoy!
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Wow. This is excellent.
The emotions running through it really touch my heart; you express yourself really well. I love the way you have written it, it is very unique and flows nicely.
Thanks so much for entering, and well done!
By the way, I hope it all works out for you and the person you were talking about in the poem...
Katie
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Wow. Just wow.
Nothing mattered just you and me.
That simple line said so much. Thank you for bringing a past emotion to surface. Although it's not always happiness I feel when I read love poems, this emotion was one that I needed to remember I felt so long ago.
Great piece -
awesome. I found this a very enjoyable read.
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Wow; this was such an emotional piece about lost love, but so beautifully written and portrayed.
Your imagery shines bright & so does the meaning behind it even moreso.
It's so sad when you know lost love will never be found again.. it seems impossible to get over.
Amazing write!
Thanks for entering & best of luck
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Wow, this is so beautiful and heartfelt. It made me sad for you. It was so innocent in the beginning, and quite heartbreaking in the end. Simple but effective. Congratulations on the trophies, they were well deserved. Thanks for entering!
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Beautiful!
Beautiful! Thanks for entering!
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Sometimes it still hurts a little when we look back at love long gone, whatever the reasons. It's easy to identify with this bittersweet piece, Ed. I can see why it won so many trophies
Good luck in this contest, too
Dee
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wow! this is such an amazing write. I can see why it's won so many trophies. Your soul speaks so clearly from these words. I love how your poem invoked so many different feelings within me, happiness, peace, sadness, loss...simply brilliant.
Thank you for sharing this, and for taking the time to enter my contest,
Luck. -
Thanks for entering and i hope to read more from you soon. This was wonderfully written.
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awww this shows so much love and peace... but then it just breaks you...I can understand that one all too well.
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A heart braking story in rhythm and rhyme Easy to read and soooo very sad
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Like an arrow shot so straight so true.
should put a comma between straight and so
Well, damn, you have written such a perfect, real love poem. This is really good, and it's so hard when you are so in love, when you just know it's a forever commitment, and the days pass to years and then bam... grown apart... not happy without even knowing why... Great write, I'm sorry it draws from your real life pain. Thank you for sharing your favorite and entering my contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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I do like the flow of this one, the layout is really effective. I can relate to this one alot, although the rhyme does seem a little forced at times, especially in the 8th stanza. Other than that, it's a really good write and i did enjoy reading it alot.
This is my first contest, so you won't have entered any before
good luck, xx
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Very well written. The content was wonderous. The imagery and teh wording used was great. I liked that is was kind of in a story form as well. I enjoyed teh use of similies as well.
I especially liked:
I felt like a leaf caught up in the wind.
When it fell to the ground never to rise again
This line really hooked me
Thank you for entering -
great read, nice flow, a true journey.
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Ahhh this is such a very beautiful write I really enjoyed reading it. It has excellent rhyme and rhythm too. Congratulations on all of the previously won trophies.
Thank you for taking
the time to enter
into my contest.
I wish you the
best of luck.
RedwingSpirit
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Great Write!
When you commented on Lost Love and told me about how it reminded you of this one i decided i should go ahead and read it, and i'm glad i did it was really good. The only part i had a problem with was the first stanza's rhyme scheme isn't the same as the rest of the poem's rhyme. Otherwise it was a very vivid and touching poem that clearly demonstrated the joy and pain that comes along with love. I really liked the rhyme (other than the first stanza not fitting the rest of the poem's rhyme scheme) It did seem to fit however and i probally wouldn't have noticed it if i hadn't went back to read it a second time. Your poem flowed very well and i think that it is worthy of all the trophies it has won. Thanks for the good write.
Brandon
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Awwwww
I'm sorry for your loss and pain...
I've been here more times than I care to count but also, I found a wonderful silver lining to my dark clouds
Thank you for sharing and for being a part of this contest! -
tears welling, must be good
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Wow, this is great, I enjoyed reading this poem. Especially this part as it was so beautiful:
Our love grew stronger each passing day.
We knew our love was here to stay.
Like the wind blowing on a calm sea.
Nothing mattered just you and me.
Thank you for this wonderful entry.
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awww love found, love embraced and love lost...
I guess we all can relate to it.....some more then others...but it touched my heart, with joy and sadness, with a smile and with tears...so I guess your write was great
Good luck in this contest,
I know Darc Soul
I'm his shadow
That's why I follow everything
XXJeannette
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beautiful write, and yet sad too. best of luck in the contest
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Transcend All
Bravo, this it wonderful , but you have to know that already. I mean the flow is great. There are so many favorite places in here.
Our lives had changed it was plain to see.
Nothing else mattered just you and me.
We rode like the wind we cared not where.
Faster and faster we knew no fear.
Thank you for recommending this one. I'd like to add you to my favorites if that would be cool. Thank you for sharing a piece of you here !
Namaste'
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wow this is really good--good luck in all your contests
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since I was the last to comment on this poem for my last contest and remember it well, I don't feel there is anything left for me to say, except I do love this, good choice of poem for entering this contest..
thanks for entering and good luck..
peace and light always -
Wow... all that wonderful love and passion and then just gone... the way you put this in your story was very powerful, I felt every emotion from reading this poem... the love felt from that first moment, to the end, and the pain from loss... very well written, so beautiful and so very sad.. well done!!
thank you for entering my contest and good luck
peace and light always -
Awwwwww!!! I love this! This poem is so sweet and loving. I really like how you started and ended the poem. Each part fit perfectly with the next. My favorite part is the fifth part, the one about the kiss, it was great. I love this!!
Keep Writing
~~Meri~ -
good work... yes, writting about experiances from our own lives can often be trying, especially when we are posting the poems for others to see (we don't want anyone to know just how crazy we really are) For the most part my own works are based in fiction, but i can appreciate the challenge writting something like this would pose. Great work anyways, fairly constant rhythm and rhyme. Thanks for entering and best of luck in my contest!
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It hit to my heart and soul
Reading the lines, and getting further into the poem had my heart aching just that much more, with each stanza that passed. I too have lost a love the way you so sadly describe. My wife and I parted ways on a similar stage of emotions and heartache. Thank you for a great read, to know I am not crazy with the hurts I have is an odd comfort. Thanks again.
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Great job, this is a really touching poem. I can see why you placed also in this contest!
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This is very cute and sad; I have certainly been here. You covered a lot of ground in this poem. I really enjoyed the beginning because it is so tender.
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WoW! congratultions on the trophie- you desserve it this was great! Thanks for sharing your emotions, it was heartwarming to read, even though it was lost, this poem touched my heart.
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Beautiful
Wow. This was simply amazing. I like how this is a prewrite, but the contest IS "Love Like A Hurricane" and you've got it with the road and the wind and everything. I cannot believe how much this suits me and life. You are an amazing writer. -
ohh wow this was so very well written but oh so sad!!!
i loved it. great job with this... and i wanna read some of your more recent ones
xx-Crash -
Thank you for the comment on my poem
. Lost Love. First let me say this was a true to life poem.
every thing in this poem actually happened in my life.I may have been a little misleading in the first stanza. if you noticed I only started to walk awayI was hopeing I was conveying the idea that that silly grin turned me back,
Thanks again I appreciated your comment oh by the way this was the second poem I ever wrote.
Thanks again.
Arlie
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let me begin by stating that i dont (as a loose rule) enjoy reading rhyming poetry. this piece how ever was very good....as i didn't feel your rhyme was forced, it flowed nicely without being to overpowering for the poem. i did have one spot of confusion though...in the first stanza you turn and walk away....and then when you start the second stanza you are seeing new things ......did you come back? is this another day?....(you probabily dont need to change anything....i'm just a bit slow...lol)
great job.... -
I really like this poem a lot. One of the best by you. I can't believe it's been on here so long and I'm just now getting to read it. I'm glad I decided to come back and read though, because you don't find many poems like this on here. You did am excellent job on writing this, and I really like the ending. Keep up the excellent work, Jessica.
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Hi
A very commendable effort of young love.
What makes this poem stand out is the evolution of the story from tentative beginnings to a shattering end in a way that makes the reader believe that the writer is relating a personal experience.
The only problem I see is that there are a few places in this poem where two words merge making the read a bit bumpy.
Farkas1
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AMAZING
I LOVE THIS I TOTOALLY DO IT REMINDS ME OF MY EX g/f SO MUCH AND GOD I WISH THAT I WAS STILL WITH HER....*sigh* Happiness I had and then it was taken with one single snag and I know that I wont find a love like that again because I love her and I guess thats what happenes when you find someone new and you alwayed thought they loved you!!
Wrote by *Wishy*
Very good I love it!!!
*Wishy* -
I've been checking out some of your poems..Your actually really good. you write some long a.ss poems! Anyways, I know how you feel about this poem (well not the same way since we all have different feelings over somethings) but this is a good feeling with great emotions.
Me -
hey i love this poem it is really good.
~*nikki*~ -
awww this is making me cry. Minor errors some places minor places like the last 2 stanza didn't flow with the others but the rest was excellent i didn't care if ti flow i just loveit so deep.
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aww. so sad. i liked it though! i have some new stuff and you said to let you know when i did so you can read it! you are such a talented poet for being so new at it. anywho, much love
~britt -
spectacular!
caught u off Shameless...this is wonderful! i can tell it's from your heart just from the way it was written..as if u were talking and not trying to be gramatically correct...i like that. u sense the love you shared and you had for this girl..u can picture the essence of the mood through your words as if it were the reader sharing the intimate feelings of being in love. when the poem ends, u feel the lost connection..what happend? why? how? u feel the emptiness as u do when u lose someone u love or are close to. this is wonderful, again. thank u for sharing, u obviously have great and wonderful, amazing talent~! God bless u,
~kris -
Awesome
This is sooo cute! I love it! Reminds me of past loves and future ones to come... -
Beautiful romantic piece
Keep writing, this was a lovely piece with good rhyme
All the best,
Pozo
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beautiful and tender
i love it!!! it rhymes perfectly and has good rhythm AND describes the beauty as well as the pain of love wonderfully. i love the metaphors and all the great adjectives you used. i am especially impressed when you describe the part where 'you made a wrong turn and lost your way'- very strong metaphor. great job and i will enjoy seeing more of your poems and stories. -
An very good original love poem, I love it, well done and please keep writing
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o wow. I believe this was the best love poems I'ver ever read! There were a couple of spelling errors though and you may wabnt to double check . I would also capaptalize all your "I's" in this poem. Everything else was wonderful. The fow was fantastic and the rhyme scheme was well put toghther. I'm glad I got the chance to read a love poem that was original and really said something to me.
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