Sitting on the cold hard bench,
Uncanny things played out as I observed.
In all the foreign, unknown faces,
There was only one I recognized.
His face my eyes did follow, yearning for familiarity.
I watched as their competition began.
As time passed,
Competitive Spirit could be smelled,
A thick, heavy, sickening scent.
Tension could be felt,
Like a torrential rain drenching your body.
And rivalry could easily be seen.
The one who’s face I had known for so long,
He now had control over the combat.
The outcome seemed to be in his hands,
But then,
The enemy came forward and challenged him.
In an instant, my friend was down.
Struggling on the ground he screamed.
The scream so loud it sliced through my mind…
I suddenly awoke,
Relieved to be away from the alternate world, in my own bed,
And to know that my friend was not harmed.
The next day
I went to the place where we always meet.
My friend arrived.
I looked on in horror
As he approached me,
As crippled and as damaged as I had seen him the night before.
He told me the story, how it happened,
But it was too familiar, for I had seen it.
Little did he know I could tell the story,
From the point of view in a vision.
He never healed,
I never told him what I saw.
The dangers of an untold prophesy.
Author notes
I don't know what to say about this one. Feel free to comment!
Written August 7th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Perfecto
This was beautiful. My favorite thing about this poem was your metaphors. I think metaphors are the strongest technique in telling stories through poetry, and you showed your might..lol -
THis is most creative and thought provoking! Looks like a lot of time and effort went into this one. THanks for sharing such a delightful peice with us!
Blessings and Happy New Year!
~Frog 
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An eerie yet warm write.
Hmm, creepy... Is it true? 'Cause if it is- that's eerie, and don't think I'm crazy 'cause my Aunt Jen has me believing in the supernatural... Heh this is a good one! And your name is awsome, doesn't it mean angel or something of the sort?
The one who’s face I had known for so long,
He now had control over the combat.
The outcome seemed to be in his hands,
But then,
The enemy came forward and challenged him.
In an instant, my friend was down.
Struggling on the ground he screamed.
The scream so loud it sliced through my mind…
I suddenly awoke,
Relieved to be away from the alternate world, in my own bed,
And to know that my friend was not harmed.
Thats my favorite pats! -
Wow, this is very suspenseful! It Sent chills down my spine. It was kind of strange at first, but it's an excellent write. Good Work!
Trag
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Whoah. Prophetic dreams freak me out! A truly awesome write. Write on, poet.
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This is extremely chilling. It is well written, and honestly telling.
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Superb
This is amazing write your words touched our minds and held our souls. Keep up the awesome job you do,and hope to read more from you. Thank you for sharing this with my family and I. -
some that dreams are apart of one's own mind...yet i say there are things that can not be explained...somethimes dreams foretell what happens. Interesting perspective
Bill -
I thought this both well written and a strong story. We need to listen to those untold thoughts warning us. It helped in the wild and is still an echo.
John -
WoW! This is very thought provoking and you presented it very well. You obviously put a lot of work and thought into this and it shows. Great job.
♥ Kimberly -
Fantastic. I love anything to do with this kind of thing and your poem struck a chord in me. Well done!
Edited on Aug 08, 4:06 p.m. because ''. -
brilltant
Hi, I'm sorry I just got your message I've been of my computer the last couple of days, going though a hard time at the minite, I love your poem you've brillant talent I could never write something so good, very spokey.
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This one gave me the shivers. I wouldn't want to have visions like that. Very well written.
~ Lee -
this is tence, i don't think i blinked once while reading this, its really good, and people can see things that happen in their dreams and all but...your the first i know to explain it, so detailed, like the person reading was there, this is one awsome poem, you really sould enter a contest, i bet you would win it, ur a fantastic writer, and your talent is really big, like you could publish your poems, just have a book filled with your poems, lets just say, if that ever does happen, just to let you know, i'm definatly buying one
, well good job and keep up the great work!
love allways,
~noor~
lalalolo11
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Excellent
That's kind of strange but I know how it feels to see things before they actually happen just not in a dream. But that's scary. Great write. Keep up the good work. -
Wow! This is amazing! I love writing things like this! This poem is awesome! It's just so thought provoking and you made a great plot. I really want to applaud you, but I'm saving up points for a contest, so great writers like you can enter and win! Terrific write! Keep up the fantastic work!
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wow...this was really good...you have a good writing style...hope to read more of you work
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i, for one, would not want the ability to see the future and if i had i don't think i would tell either.
interesting write. you did really well in describing the competitive spirit
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scary
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