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Drop on my heart a rose

DROP ON MY HEART A ROSE

by Robert Davidson

My voice breaks against those lips of thine
Before I leave for war I humbly plea,
Let me love you gently your first time
As dumb-tongued my love to you expose,
And then i'll return to thee once more
To bring to thy heart a rose.

I long to merge myself in you
And lie with you all my last long night,
Making each to the other fit true;
While love's deep wonder to you shows
Heady passion given for your delighT,
I leave with your heart a rose.

You laugh as in my fond arms you fall
As you respond with your passion pent;
But before I answer the bugle's call
I want us to lie entwined in still repose,
As in mad delight sublimely spent
You press to my heart a rose.

As the war rages on I see you yet
Mourning red=eyed your lost love. I cry aloud
'If I die, I know you'll not forget
For on our troth one request I must impose:
If I am swathed in the silence of a shroud,
Then drop on my heart a rose.'

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • FleetingImage
    January 2

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    What a beautiful poem you've written but not really what i was looking for it liked it all the same...good luck.


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    August 15, 2008
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    Thank you for your beautiful dedication, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • peridotPixi
    August 5, 2008

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    This is a wonderful poem, i love the flow it has and the way you mention dropping your heart a rose, i like the thoughts and the feelings you have used in this poem, keep up the writing, ~Amy


  • Shenanigans
    December 4, 2007

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    Oh man, I loved this. It reads a lot like an old Irish war song--that kind of elevated language, it makes the whole thing more classy. The twist at the end was a nice touch. At times, the rose repetition seemed unnecessary or didn't make sense--I assume it was so you could tie it in at the end, but I think maybe if you mention it a few less times the piece would be more effective. This piece is very romantic, is it true to life? One thing that got me, especially at the end, was the fact that he/you call it the first time. I was thinking, I wonder if there is a ring? I had a conversation one time, with a journalist about to go into a warzone. He told me he didn't want to leave any women/wives/children behind, in case he didn't make it back. That kind of reminded me of this. It would suck to be deflowered by a dead random soldier. Dead husband, right on. Dead fiance, understandable. Dead military boyfriend, well, okay. Dead random soldier...I hope not... I thought about it a bit more, and the two spoken of here seem too close for that, so, good. All that aside, piece was really beautiful. It has so much depth and emotion, and you know, as a man on his last night of freedom, I imagine this scene, these emotions, happen a lot. Excellent piece, thank you for entering the contest.
    --Shannon


  • Fixing Tomorrow
    November 30, 2007
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    This is very pretty. Thank you for entering.


  • Blueskywonder
    November 29, 2007

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    A powerful and beautiful piece of poetry expressing a deep romance in its deeply passionate content. Thankyou for taking the time to enter my contest... also good luck!


  • jewlinz
    October 30, 2007
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    Sweet love poem. I love how it says something at the end with "hearts rose" Good Luck!


  • forbidden-colour
    October 27, 2007
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    Great
    Very sweet and passionate!
    thank you for entering.
    xxxx


  • LadyLeviathan silver member
    October 15, 2007

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    woah this is entered in so many contest! and i can see why. it needs praise for these beautiful words that you have penned here. you did such a wonderful job with expression. The love pours through every word! thank you so much for sharing!


  • Chelsea Void
    October 12, 2007
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    You laugh as in my fond arms you fall
    As you respond with your passion pent;
    But before I answer the bugle's call
    I want us to lie entwined in still repose,
    As in mad delight sublimely spent
    You press to my heart a rose.

    that was my favorite stanza
    I think you really portrayed a grand sense of sentimentality, an easy wanting, yet innocent in the sense of true love.


  • Arrianna MacEwan
    August 19, 2007

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    wow this poem has entered a great deal of contests very sweet and heartfelt. Good luck in the contest


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    July 25, 2007
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    Thank you for your beautiful entry, Josephine

  • Rof Cau
    June 18, 2007

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    Oh my. You have certainly entered it into a lot of contests.
    I like the language styles you use and for the most part you pull it off quite well. Some lines are a bit awkward but it does not detract much from the beautiful sentiment of it all.

  • EmeraldDaze
    May 16, 2007
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    This wasn't quite what I was what looking for in my contest, but thank you for entering my contest.


  • HisDarlingDisaster
    May 15, 2007
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    awww... this is so amazing. I enjoyed it alot. thanks for being in my contest and good luck!!


  • willowprincess
    May 14, 2007

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    aww, so beautiful. i am such a romantic and i adore roses, so you've definitely caught me with your words. good job and good luck.


  • Nomadic Prince
    May 11, 2007
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    very well done. Welcome to the contest!
    -N


  • earthstar
    May 10, 2007

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    wow this is great I love it. you write awesome love poems. It melts my heart. Thanks for your entry this is awesome. This is the first love poem that has wow my socks right off me. I have not been lucky enough to get such things. It wonderful


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    May 8, 2007

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    i would like to thank you for the entry into this contest. your write is wonderful. good luck in the judging. viyanna rosemarie

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    May 8, 2007

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    Beautifully written. The romanticism is very masculine in context, and yet it has a slight classical air with the sturcture, rhyme and rhythm. Between these things, this poem stands out among entires I have read this far. Nice work.

    s and best wishes always... ~Genie~

    Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.


  • neenabean
    May 4, 2007
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    thank you for entering this poem Again in my second contest, its beautiful, good luck


  • second-born
    May 3, 2007

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    such a lovely poem from a sincere soldier to his waiting lover...i was intrigued by the title so i opened it and i was not disappointed because i've read a very beautiful poem! goodluck to you in this contest!


  • Shannon62875
    May 1, 2007

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    well...

    This is a very unique and deep write.. This isnt exactly what i was looking for but you are truely a great poet!!! I will be opening another contest and i would love it if you enter that!!
    Shannon*Leah


  • Myjoy gold member
    April 24, 2007

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    This is beautiful and heart aching as well. Not what I am looking for in my contest but a wonderful and brilliant tribute to love and the emotions. Well done.


  • Poetic Aphrodite
    April 20, 2007
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    Thankyou for your beautiful entry, Bella


  • ForgottenMemories
    April 20, 2007
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    WOW!! This is so beautiful, it made me smile, but it also made me cry!! I feel a bit better now tho you hve written a amazing poem, and it is really emotional.. I am not surprised that it got a bronze trophy and a HM.. very deserving write. thanks for entering and good luck!!


  • neenabean
    April 17, 2007
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    im in awe! wow! best of luck and thank you


  • nobodys-girl
    April 6, 2007
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    this is beautiful...wow... i love it...thankyou so much for entering and good luck.


  • ShInE45DoWn
    March 25, 2007
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    Beautiful.

    You are a genuine poet. Great style, beautiful imagery, full of love.
    Only thing I didn't understand what you were trying to convey:
    "As dunb-tongued my love to you expose,"
    A phrase I'm not to familliar with, or a typo? :]
    Great write and good luck
    shinE*


  • FifthDove
    August 29, 2005
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    Such a beautiful poem, so tender and loving an excellent job! I loved all of the “rose” lines the best. Thank you so much for sharing your words with all of us here I see you are new to this site, I would just like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Ap
    Nice to read you ♥FifthD♥ve♥


  • August 5, 2005
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    love it

    this is a very good poem. i love it

1 - 31 of 31