Dear, Daddy..
It's been 9 months, 4 days, 11 hours, and 56 seconds since Jesus took you away.. I will be sending this letter to Heaven.. [express] for you need to recieve this letter right away!
Daddy, Mommy is'nt doing well since you passed away.. She's been crying every single day.. she can't eat and lost alot of weight.. she does not sleep.. her health is fading away.. she does not do much these days.. Daddy, We love you and miss you! but Daddy! We can't lose MOMMY too!
Daddy, This letter we send today.. Is to ask you and Jesus not to take her..not now.. not yet.. not today! Please leave her here a little while longer.. You know us kids really need her.
Daddy, Reply as fast as you can, You see, She is slipping away fast!!
Send it [express] to let us know ..If we can have ..our Mommy back!!
Your daughters and son......
Dad, We all miss you
Love, your children
Author notes
an express letter to heaven..asking dad in heaven to please save mommy!
she hasnt been well since he passed away...
[poem ] is in a letter form.
Written August 4th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- She was his reason and his life... by Quotidian Detritus.
350 points, ended January 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Letter time.(Not your average lette contest) by LivingxXxProof.
451 points, ended September 10, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Letters (But not to me) by pinksnowboots.
480 points, ended September 17, 77 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 53 of 53
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The letter idea is a very good one, and I like how you use the child innocence factor to make your point more clear.
Good Luck,
-Blaqk/Snow -
I love the letter form you chose to use. i wouldn't normally be drawn to reading a poem like that, but it really drew me in. very heartfelt and well expressed.
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This is such a heart-felt and emotional write, and I really liked how you put this right into letter form. This really struck me right from the very first few lines or so. You did a great job at drawing in your reader for what was to come in the rest of the piece...was no disappointment, but very sad and longing. Excellent job on this.
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thank you for commenting
superstition..thank you your comment..it was written very heart felt-edly and I cried writing it..for my husband did pass away has been 2 yrs now ] and I felt this way at the time..thanks again ..hugs honeydew
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Heart breaking write. beautifully done. good job and good luck.
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This is a truly beautiful and heartfelt write. I loved it and it made me cry. Sorry though it is limited to 10 lines.
Thank you for your entry!
Edited on Aug 31, 4:28 p.m. because ''. -
I am sorry for your loss, and sorry to her about your health, I'll be prayin for you, and I'll send it express too.
Its hard for children to lose a parent. Lost one a few years back, we try not to think about it to much for the memories are not good one, sometimes, and it stirs up alot of problems, It must have been even harder on you knowing your children are thinking they might lose you as well, But even harder tryin to write something on such a soft subject as well. you did a wonderfull job, And my prayers will be with you and your family
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Hm. I'm sorry for your loss. But I think this piece could've been longer, and more eloquently penned. As well, 'alot' should be 'a lot'.
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Thanks for your wonderful enrty! Debi
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Very nice write, well done and beautifully penned sorry for the loss of your father
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This is well written. It is difficult to write as a young innocent child when we are adults. You have accomplished this task very nicely!
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Very touching!
This is a very touching piece! I like the way that you have written from the view of your children. You have done a good job of expressing emotion, and of writing a beautiful piece! Thanks for sharing your wonderful talent! Thanks for your entry and best of luck in the contest!
Debi
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i'm incredibly sorry about your loss.
You've done an amazing job with this though, writing from the point of view of others. amazin' job! I hope you keep this up - its very heartfelt and sad and i just want you to know that i feel your pain. I lost my father, but i know that the pain is strong and hard. keep fighting,you'll be okay. Think of your children.
Best of luck to you in the contest, you'll do a great job i know it!
-Stephani -
baby..I will try..its very difficult..I love you too!! perhaps I need time ..alot of time!! hugs..mom
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Very Very Very True! Mom stay here for as long as you can we lost him we cant bare to loose you too!! You have to stay strong and take care of your self for you, your children and all your grand children. So you can watch us all grow! Love Angela
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THANK YOU FOR COMMENTING ON MY POEM..I AM SORRY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR GRAND FATHER..HES RIGHT DONT EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS..THANKS AGAIN..HUGS..HONEYDEW
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this poem means alot to me as well
because it reminds me of my grand dad
he died 4 years ago but he helped me to
work hard and to never give up on my dreams
to be sucessfull into this life while u are living on this earth make it worth you wild and keep writing into the future -
graany.thank you for your comment and yes WOW .I forgot I did win a bronze..means alot to me ..thanks for the congrats..
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thank you 52nd Queen..for commenting on my featured write.. this is truely how I see and felt threw my childrens eyes and my feelings..thank you again..
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OH my god this is heartbreeaking! How incredible of you to put yourself in your childrens shoes, and see what is happening to yourself, and how much they need you right now, and always! Thsi is amazign!
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Well written, Congratulataions on wiining bronze in this contest. Easy to read and understand -
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Congratulations
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i like this - aye from the children's viewpoint, to those it is just unfair that death came and of course the adults think that too. a nice penning.
thank you for your entry into my prewrite contest. i wish you the best of luck. when i have commented on all the entries i will make my decision. i always make notes as i go along in a file so the judging process will not take too long.
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Viyannarosemarie...thank you for the applaud on my write..and I am so sorry for your loss as well..its not been 2yrs here since hes been gone..yet everyday I wake..it seems to start all over again .the [pain]..bless you..and yes god is the one helping through for his family does not speak to me anymore.hugs Honeydew
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hoodoolover...thank you for reading my poem..and your condolences..I appreceiate it..
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Debbysmiles..thank you for reading and your blessings!!
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i so very much want to cry for you/with you for your children. two years ago yesterday was when the man i love jumped in front of a train so i can not only have sympathy but empathy as well. i can not tell you anything that will make it better. that would be futile as i only know that i have just now begun to heal. it is not something anyone can take away from you but God can carry you through. if you ever need someone to talk to, i am just an im away. viyanna r langager
oh--you wrote this so very well that i did not know it was not a child until i read the author comments.
these are from dad :
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Excellent
This is extremely sad, but I would think effective if you are looking at it from your kids eyes you will take better care, blessings to you and I am so sorry for your loss. -
This is an absolute tear jerker. I wish you only the best..
Blessings. Debby -
Omg Honey I was blown away when i read this I love how you wrote like it was your daughter writting...I hope you really dont feel this way cause if you do its time to pray!!!! Just remember god is only a prayer away if you cry he will hear you if you ask you shall recieve GOD BLESS YOU HONEY (AUNT) <3 Karen
Edited on Dec 24, 5:30 p.m. because ''. -
This is extremely heartfelt. Someone passed away that was very close to me only a few weeks ago so i no how it felt. IT IS A GREAT IDEA though i think u neeed to ask your children how they feel too see if u can get a poetry book published dedicated to him??? well written gfood luck xxxxx
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thanks for commenting honeydew. This is so sweet and gives such a powerful image of innocence. Fantastic job, well done.
Good luck and thanks for entering,
Nat -
thank you for commenting on my featured poem..Honeydew!!
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this is so sad
and meaning ful well done
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Good work
This poem is beautifully written. Death is hard for children...for all of us. -
oh darn...i've already commented. i went and wasted your points
let's see if i can applaud to help make up for it
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wow
First off, I'd like to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. This really broke back emotions from not to long ago when my father almost died, and then not to long after that my mother had a stroke , I know what it's like to ask for someone more powerful than myself to help my parents cope with what they are going through.... This was beautifully written, Thank you so much for entering, and good luck......................
♥ Fancy -
i too am sorry for your loss...
you have written this perfectly from a child's point of view. it holds their innocence and the simple way they look at life. children can take things that are so tough for us, as adults, to understand and say them clear as a bell. you've captued this with your write
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children......I am glad that your daughter shared her thoughts, otherwise you may not have ever known her true feelings.....I can't begin to imagine what it is like to loose a spouse, but I can tell you this, your days will get easier, not better because your husband is no longer here, just that it will get easier....baby steps, that is all you need to do.....this time is for you and your children, focus on your needs and theirs, talk to each other, don't keep your feelings bottled up......there is a meaning and purpose for everything, you may not know what that is right now, but one day you will.....god bless you and your family, love each other, hug each other, cry together and always always laugh together....*hugs* *hugs*
TUI -
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THIS IS SO SAD,DEEPLY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS..GOOD LUCK STAY STRONG,stay with us we will help along with your writing your poems such a soul searching relief.. god bless.. tc Linda -
Princess Tigris..thank you so much for your condolences..yes..I was in tears writing this..It;s only been almost ten months since his passing and it's very difficult..I try to stay stong for the kids and they for me ..It hurts to write yet it helps me..thank you again and god bless
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This is such a deeply moving piece. So very sad. Writing from your childrens' points of view; very well done. This one has made me cry as well, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I know that everthing happens for a reason, although sometimes it just isn't understandable. I know how very hard that it must have been for you to write this. I pray for you and your childrens' sake that you are somehow able to begin again. The roads we walk are never as smooth as we would like; but your husband would have wanted you to be strong and take care of yourself. Do not neglect that you need to grieve, instead remember that he never really left you...he's part of you for eternity.
God bless you
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This is so tragic and so very sad. I think you have captured your children's feelings quite well through this letter. I am so sorry for your loss and your children's loss, my heart was breaking as I read this. Your children do need you and God will help you to have the strength to be a mother to them and take care of yourself. You have written this wonderfully and quite emotionally from your heart and the hearts of your children. I wish you all the best and for your heart to heal and well as your children. God Bless you and thank you for sharing this beautifully written piece.
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How tragic, I am very sorry for your loss. Your poem had me on the verge of tears. Yes, it is so important that the children don't lose both parents during this trying time. Lovely poem, great meaning. I hope you win the contest.
Princess -
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Mom this is a very good poem...writing from your childrens point of view..you did a good job cause this is excatly how we feel..it makes me cry cause thats what i wish i could do send a letter to dad and tell him everything and actually get a reply back...the only thing i can do is pray to god and dad and ask them for there help in keeping you here...but not all prayers are answered when asked...sometimes there are diffrent plans and you know this..god had his own plans for dad and we were left here to grieve..mom just remember i am here through thick and thin...im by your side till battles end...i love you mom..wonderful job <3 becca -
this was really good but i don't get it...are you in the place of your daughter? oooh, i get it now, wow...lol...sry, i'm slow, but yeah, this was written creatively and i am soo sooo sorry for your loss. that must be hell. but htink of your kids and how much they need you! and how much you need them! wouldn't your husband want you to continue life as normal as possible? to be there for your kids? and besides, you still have them...i know i'm younge and all but i really hope that you think about all of that. just think of what your husband would realy want you to do. thanks for the entery by the way and i hope that you get back soon. cuz you're missed, i can tell.
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Honey that is so good but so sad.
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chilliwoman-thank you for your comment and applaud..and yes I see him in everyone our my children..they help me in so many ways..they are grieving too ..which makes me have to be strong for them..thank you for your love and luck ..we need it! thank you again
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EeyoreUK-Thank you for your comment ...and yes poetry helps me..I releases alot ..I only hope not to bore others with my writes..lately I have been writing many..thank you again for your comment.
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Sippy thank you for your comment..I know that deep in my heart..my kids need me and I will see him one day ..nevertheless my pain never goes away..we were married 28yrs had 5 children together..thank you for your encouraging words- for me to live my life to the fulliest..and thank you for the hug!!
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9 months is not long. give yourself time and look for their father in your children. hurts at first but may ultimately be a comfort. let them help - they must be grieving too. love and all the luck to you all. x
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Such a moving letter, I know life is hard to live after the loss of someone dear. I hope you find great comfort in your poetry. Its such a great release.
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This is a heart-breaking letter. Their children certainly need their mommy and I think their mommy needs to do everything that she can to live life to her fullest. One day, she will be reunited with her love. *hugs*
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