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Secret Garden

Missing image
Tonight beneath a big oak tree,
two young lovers smile as they court
On a patch of four leaf clovers,
hidden in a secret garden is their resort

Her moaning carries far among the wind,
startling deer grazing upon the corn field
love is among the garden of dreams,
as skin is caressed and slowly revealed

Two aching bodies in the heat of the day,
motioning, tempting for the other to play
A game of intimacy as their bodies display,
emotions pouring to each others sway

They dance with grace of the ballet,
as eager birds watch by in dismay
To find two humans in love such as they,
on a beautiful bright sunny day

 

 

 

Author notes

Written August 5th, 2005

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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • MysticBlue gold member
    April 4
    Edit | Reply
    Such a lovely write and so romantic. Love it.
    Hugs, Marie


  • DeathtoloveShade gold member
    March 12
    Edit | Reply

    I thought this was interesting

    Great job and keep writing


  • movedon
    May 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    if i wasnt in love and i saw two ppl bein all lovey dovey i would be angry too...wow hope i dont see no one in love......ahahahah

    mylee

    but if i get mad ill release my sheep from my trunk and fill his mouth with ora-gel and make him rabid!


  • ceXee
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    really sweet, it woulda been cool if you mentioned they are irish or something , thats hott!


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    carries. I like this as it flows nicely and says lovely things, creating wonderful images of two on the clover. Some good fhyming words here too.


  • tootsvegan
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what the one guy was talking about with the spelling and "sentance strucure" was talking about, I didn't see anything like that, I did notice that "Carry's" was capitalized, and I'm not sure if it should be. This is a good poem, like the rhyming, glad that people still do it. Good job.


  • Rainydaywoman
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful brainstorm!

    I really like this piece it is beautifully written- in my mind however, i'd like to see more randon rhymes towards the end. The last two verses ending in "ay" sounds is repetative. I really love the idea and the mix with the beauty of nature and the sensuality of sweet lovers! good read all in all....


  • swcaitlin18
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful and flows together so well. Also very good imagery, I really liked the whole idea of how nature and the lovers kind of tie in together. Great job!


  • Phoenix Karkadann
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    A

    excellent work! keep it up!!!


  • September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    good images, a telling love story, and timeless.


  • neptune386
    September 22, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my God! This is soo sweet and so beautiful. I'm a die hard romantic so this touched me deeply. Just to let you know, the second line of the second stanza, I think you meant "deer" not "dear" otherwise I adored this piece tremendously. Brava!

    Alyssa

  • AlArIsE
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Yes YEs YES!!! It is very lovely and delicate and they rhyme scheme seems to have an escalation which went along with the theme as well. Very well done.

  • ThisWayOutOfHere
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    Wow! :)

    I loved this... its so sensual... and it didnt even need all those dirty words that people use.. I'm so glad I read it! You have such a talent!


  • Frozentearz
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful write I love how you intertwined
    love with nature two beautiful things

    Tears

  • Disillusioned1
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    You have spun a very sensual and erotic but tasteful tale of two young lovers. Very well written.

  • popular demand
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem, and just randomly saying hi, but i really like this poem~~cat

  • The Broken One
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    ha...


  • Ryan gold member
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    not as lovely as you..

    ~Ryan~

  • The Broken One
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely...

  • SaralaAnne
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Damnit it... ...That's it...No more love stuff from you willbe read by me... ...Well...Actually it will...But I'll regret it because it's too beautiful... ...Another great write...Keep it up... ...~~Sarah


  • Simply Ashley
    August 5, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write. You did a great job on this.

    ~CK

1 - 21 of 21