Honey brown, warm,
the dark hive hums:
The life force, hive force,
shines sun like as each,
for all bees, gathers, stores.
Could we,
Should we
join together
as, momentarily,
bodies may?
Or seek completeness
in a solitary vice?
Is that sweet pain
Of loneliness our truth?
Or just a resting place
en route to some Nirvana?
Author notes
Written October 8th, 1982
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I love it. I cant even explain how much I love it.
-
this is good I like it...keep up the good work and good luck with the contest.
~Candy~ -
Great word flow and wonderful combo of words. Nirvana is rarley used as it should be these days. Big points for that!
This title reminds me of lovers, but the poetry itself reminds me of confusion among lovers.
I liked it though!
Keep it up!
-Nikki -
we can be both of these and none the worse for it. compartmentalising is what i have learned in my 27 year relationship. sometimes it's crap though!!! be selective of your crowd.....
-
Thanks for the comment. I find the choice between joining the crowd and remaining on the outside as an observer fascinating. Are we individual loners or do we want to lose ourselves as part of a relationship or a crowd?
-
Great flow
Great flow. You combine words with so much craft that it just makes it a pleasure to read aloud. You use repetition masterfully. Not sure how to interpret this, the first stanza refers to bees but then the last two stanzas refer to some couple who could mate but somehow contemplate the "sweet pain" of loneliness." The title makes me think it is about two lovers, or would be lovers in the night. Love the lines "Could we,/Should we/join together/as, momentarily,/ bodies may?" Makes me think of two drifters who enjoy the pleasures of making love without commitment, but contemplate something more serious, perhaps this is were that first stanza comes in. In any case, even if I don't understand it, love it. Thanks for sharing this.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
3 old applause
