suspended
between yellow street lamps:
haloed half moon
Author notes
Written August 3rd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- haiku-o-matic by leander.
500 points, ended February 7, 2006, 63 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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What a stunning haiku, Gennelle
Haiku is just about my most favorite form and you've done this one superbly.
Dee
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Aye, Lassie...
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A very deserved gold trophy.. This is really impressive..Haiku's are difficult in that it's hard to create this kind of imagery in so few lines..you did it wonderfully..~Pastel
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Again short but sweet, I have an imagine in my mind of what you talk about
. It's very well written! I can see why you got the gold trophy Keep up the great work, I'll be around to read and comment more on your poems. Take care!
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Glorious moon moment
Without looking further, the moon says it all: gold! I shall remember this beautiful Haiku of wonder for a moon as the harbinger of rain, replete with halo. I need not read further for perfection. Ron
Edited on Feb 08, 6:16 because ''. -
well done
congrads...this is well done with great imagery..indeed deserved...larry -
Congratulations Gennelle with your GOLD. This is indeed a great Haiku. Well deserved.
Anna
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well done G
col -
This haiku is wonderful and very worthy of the gold
Congratulations Cindy
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Wonderful haiku, Gennelle, from the master of haiku-writing. Congratulations on winning the gold trophy amongst all the entries!! You've captured a wonderful "moon moment" as true haiku should.
~ Nicolette
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Congratulations, dearest Friend. Somehow the entire of creation is suspended in mortality ...
Myra -
Congratulations on your win in this crowded contest! Your haiku shows a moment definitively, perhaps a few minutes in a year could be like that.
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This is stunningly beautiful really enjoyed reading this one, and the additional details I got from the picture
thank you for entering this one
Leander -
Was wondering why I haven't read this haiku beforen then I saw the date, I wasn't much around then
A beautiful ku you have here Ge, the picture just gives a even more beautiful image to your lines. Enchanting! -
Hmm, what can I say? Absolutely lovely flow with absolutely awesome words that connected to an absolutely wonderful picture that left me in an almost dreaming state of mind. I'll have to go and howl at the moon today.
Lovely poem, thanks for entering it! -
Such words! HTe power they carry; the images they paint; and the handsomeness of your insight! A most fantastic piece!!
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Beautiful. Elegant and a very lovely image you've shown us here
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The astronomer sees the moon, the scientist sees an example of the evolutionary process, the owl sees a reason for whooo-whooing but the poet sees emotion. Keep your poetic vision focused, it suits you well.
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If one picture can give so much illumination to compose such strong felt feeling as you've described in so few words.Watch out Mona Lisa! This was quite beautiful Answer Lady.~~~~Suseann
Edited on Aug 06, 5:51 p.m. because 'spelling'. -
Wonderful ku you have here.
I loved it. -
This was beautifully written and then some. I love looking up at night and seeing the moon. It’s one of my favorite things to look at. I REALLY enjoyed this.
Nicely done.
~ John
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great observation very well expressed .... nicely done >>> EM
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nicee
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Ah, the majesty and inspiration of that lunar delight! The last line sounds almost like a low whisper. Delivered with wide eyes in reverence and awe.
Where I to go blind and miss seeing the moon, I could listen to these words of yours, and I would have no problem seeing again. -
Thank you, Andrew! A favourable review from such an accomplished haijin as yourself is most appreciated and valued. I think I will need that luck, yours is so good!
~G
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The thing which caught me with this haiku was the format, the first two line nicely build th image, then the final line delivers the revolation and the use if alliteration here gives it a different tone. (Gave me the impresion of breathing in with the first two and out with the second. It gives this an extra feel I will have to try )
A wonderful and traditional styled haiku, nicely done worded and poetically managed.
Good luck in the contest
Andrew -
Thanks Yem!
Yep, I sure did see it just like that... standing outside Hollywood Video waiting for my son ('cause the air conditioning was too darn cold in there).
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You actually saw that didn't you. I mean, you were walking along and there it was. If not, just say yes, it makes for a better story.
In the dark expanse, that small globe of light does indeed seem suspended...sort of like how my head seems suspended when I wear a dark turtleneck...sorry, I have a serious to humor ratio I must maintain.
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The picture made this wonderful... not that the poem wasn't elegant. Like a tiramisu, or some other delicious and petite dessert. Definitely a dessert.
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Tis the reason I like this form - so few words needed to paint the whole picture. Well done!!
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Thank you, Don! Your opinion means a lot to me, and very much appreciated, always. Yes, just as I saw it...really striking, and the moon was gorgeous hanging low.
~ G
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Your image is perfectly drawn, Gennelle, it is inspiring to see the moon rising so large near the horizon.
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This has a very traditional feel to it. Very visual. I like the "break" in the second line... gives the reader a slight pause and then, the third line raps it up. It is easily read in a single breath which I am one of those characters that still believes that makes a good ku.... 13 syllables is just about right in English and would equate to about the same number of words as in Japanese when they are trying to write 17 syllables.
This must have been quite a site.
Nice work. You have captured this perfectly in every way.
Good luck!
Don -
Lovely image here. A well laid out 'ku.
Charishma
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