You wrench my heart and let it
drip away
Crimson drops never leaving you
to sleep
My tears stain the tender
half moon
While the wilted daises dream
Your weeping still rings
in my ears
Church bell drenching
the morning
Dust caked pictures of
stale happiness fade
While the rain paints
my window
Our once flaming love
dies down
Glowing coals screaming
for revival
My heart flakes away
dry and cold
While the wilted daises dream
Author notes
sweet sorrow
Written August 3rd, 2005
A contest entry
- Emotional Response by Self Made Hell.
300 points, ended September 9, 2005, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Ohhh....this poem is so beauiful, and has a great sense of drama too. I LOVE the style that you wrote this in, that was an awesome touch. Thank you so much for entering it into the contest.
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This poem is amazing. <3 It beautiful. The imagery is just brillaint.
Kaitlyn -
wow-beautifully written. i really liked your word choice. great imagery!
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this is so amazeing! just wow your a brillant writer
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While the rain paints the window.
That's a gorgeous line. I love this. Your use of words works together and it's beautiful. This was a good read. I really enjoyed it. You conveyed much. This is full of emotion, and emotion is what makes things beautiful. Great work. -
I thought that this was a great write, I loved all of the deep emotions you added to this. The vivif imagery was exquisitly written in short easy to read lines that appeal to the reader. It was a simply dark yet beautiful write and I have to say those are my favorites. I wish you the best of luck in the contest and I hope to read more from you soon. Keep writing hun, -Heather
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nicley written. deep emotions and viviv imagary make the a very beautiful peace. XxX~*~*~Anguish~*~*~XxX
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Very beautifully written.. the imagery is wonderful...the only thing this write lacks is details to the changes and what thet are/were...I really enjoyed this...dark..yet beautiful thank you much for entering my contest.. and good luck with your entry
Amy
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You know what they say, "Short, sweet, and to the point." Well in this poem I totaly agree, except they should have placed beautiful in there, nice job!!
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Wow, this was beautiful. It was short and sweet, just the way I like it, I despise long poems. Most of the time. The spacing gave it a more airy feel, don't ask what that means cuz I'm not sure, but I liked it. It was all so beautifully written, with great, gorgeous analogies and wonderful wording. Great job.
Reesa
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I liked it sooo much, it's so poetical, and beautiful!!! Although it's not really long, it really shows how you feel...it's sooo beautiful! Lovely!!
Bye!
~Baby Princess -
my favorite part was:
Dust caked pictures of
stale happiness fade
While the rain paints
my window
I love the way you set up this poem...VERY VERY VERY GOOD WRITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -
AWESOME
the way you laid out the poem and the poem itself....wow just.....wow -
O.O Wow, Mercy. Awesome poem.
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