You left the noose for me,
Hanging, looming,
Leaving me with thoughts of sorrow.
I step up to it, all the while thinking of you,
Your face, your smile, your cold hatred.
I almost fall, ready to end it all,
Yet I think back, before you crossed my path,
And crossed my heart, and I step down,
Pondering, hoping that I can retrieve my past,
My joyous life, before the pain, before the strife.
I close my eyes and I see you again,
So I step up,
A single, lonely tear rolling down my face,
And I wish it luck on it's plummet from my cheek to the ground,
Praying it makes it there and I do not.
Author notes
"HATE AND LIES"
Not sure if is could be considered a poem, but it's one of the very first things I've ever written, so I think it deserves to be there, a Titan among the Gods, so to speak
Written August 3rd, 2005
A contest entry
- O.o Anything Goes o.O by vampireblood.
430 points, ended May 26, 2007, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This poem is quite amazing, and yes it is a poem. I liked how you said so much within those few lines. Very nicely done. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~~~Vampy~~~ -
Brilliant!
This is awesome for one of the first things you ever wrote. Actually, it's awesome in general, but it's unbelievable that it's one of your first. It has some really vivid imagery without being too much. I can see what's happening. There's some strong feelings put into these words, and I applaud your efforts. Great job! -
oh............it's so heart-renchingly beautiful. if this is one of your earlier peices, i can only imagine how much better you've gotten at writing your feelings in poetry. it's marvelous! the imagery is astounding. i can picture exactly what you speak of.
marvelous! -
Oh man this is awesome! I love the emotion and the real pain i can tell some htought went into this one i can picture your struggle and feelings
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This poem is amazing... YES... it is a poem
This is a great write
I enjoyed the whole thing... it had a great flow...
You left the noose for me...awesome imagery!!!
Hanging, looming love the use of words!!
Leaving me with thoughts of sorrow.
I step up to it, all the while thinking of you,
Your face, your smile, your cold hatred... I love the short sentences and the way that they flow...I love how smiles can turn into cold hatred... I love the personification of hatred as well!
I almost fall, ready to end it all,
Yet I think back, before you crossed my path... I love the flashback here and the use of a rhyme!
And crossed my heart, and I step down,
Pondering, hoping that I can retrieve my past,
My joyous life, before the pain, before the strife.... this is an amazing line!!
I close my eyes and I see you again,
So I step up,
A single, lonely tear rolling down my face... I love the imagery and emotions portrayed in this line as well...
And I wish it luck on it's plummet from my cheek to the ground... wow imagery again!! This is amazing!
Praying it makes it there and I do not... WOW VERY EMOTIONAL I LOVED THE WHOLE THING... It was a big poetic device!! i LOVED IT!!
thank you for entering my contest!
Ann
aka. Monkey
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its very good sad but good you did an amazing job. alot better than me when i first started writing, anyway you are an amazing talented writer keep it up.
_YOu dont know me_
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now this one is daaamn good!! i think it is classed as a poem and im liking it! the ending about the single lonely tear rolling down, hoping it reaches the ground and you do not.. somehow not wanting to fail? anyways this is very good, im loving it all the way
x
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