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And we opened the Pandora's box

And we opened the Pandora's box
you decided doom had to come along.
You've lived your life purely out of
a cereal box, you claimed.

You waited for the doom
to come out of the box,
like a jack that's supposed to spring out
anticipating a scream from you.

You waited

and you waited.

But accidents don't meet you
at your expense.
They're not supposed to.

But you wait.

There you go.

Author notes

rough draft. free write.



Written August 2nd, 2005

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • sense surreal
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i like it bit by bit... ok verbatim

    yeah the surging thrill on reading it
    Pandora's Box could just send shivers

    and since i never really like Jack in the Box

    i almost held my breath
    reading every line
    anticipating the outcome

    and

    There you go.

    galing
    Anna Lee


  • crivanea silver member
    August 9, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Nice work...suspenseful..i like it! intersting verses..

  • paranoidmonkey
    August 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really like the living out of a cereal box line. Nice use of repetition to represent the waiting. Good job.
    Edited on Aug 07, 8:23 p.m. because ''.

  • zee1
    August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    good one - leaves what to think about - I think we do this more often than we realize

  • Molly Densmore silver member
    August 3, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This reminds me of people who are pesimistic (spelling?) and negitive and like you said just waiting for something bad to happen, or accident to happen. You have conveyed this well and have written this well. Great job on this piece and thank you for sharing it.


  • natari gold member
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    good

    A mysterious piece and the ending could go either way. Pandora's box well it could be pretty bad and the end would be darkness.~Natari


  • gaeta-mob
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    The box should always be open.. Crazy-ness should be all we know. Darkness should take over everyone and everything. If all we knew was darkness, there would be no need for pain.
    Pain would not exist and therefore heartbreak would be destroyed.

    Nice Write!
    x Jennifer

  • Carissa
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Um .. I am not sure how you should end this .. maybe ... But you wait .. lingering in the blackness of your empty box or something like that. I am honestly not good at suggestions Bear with me

  • gingergreentea
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    i guess the 'open ended drama' didnt work. haha. thanks for the comment.might you have a concrete idea on where this one could go?

  • Carissa
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting .. you did well with your free write. Pandora's Box is such an interesting topic in itself - your title drew me in to click on your poem. The last part "There you go" is the only thing that I might change - other then that I think you did a great job on your "rough draft" !!

  • gingergreentea
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the comment.


  • Alicia-Nicole
    August 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I loved it! Very Well done. Pandora's box has always been an inspiration to many of us who love mythology, and who struggle with High School drama and the like. Excelent.

1 - 12 of 12