I cherish your
beautiful
imbalanced rage.
Upon your rock-temple will,
adamant mind,
a perfect heart
casts the consummate distance.
I regard your laser-eye view,
dramatic license,
time-bomb counsel
and enjoy
in living wonder.
Your hands on your hips,
self-satisfied lean,
mouth at barely cornered ease,
mirrored sunglasses
concealing the fire
we all know trembles inside.
Ever-cool,
too immersed in random protest
to float haplessly along,
I depend on your purity,
your black amnesty
flexed in my palm,
fixed to my pulse,
I cherish your unwavering blaze
and drown in your inferno.
Author notes
For my wife.
Written August 2nd, 2005
A contest entry
- Feminine Charms by bonjourbunnie.
700 points, ended May 8, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
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This is a beautiful piece! I love the composition and the image of the poem itself, much more the imagery contained in the words. The word play is clever and charming, very enchanting.
This is a very beautiful love poem, and you've got one lucky lady! She's got a great poet in her hands.
Thank you for entering, and good luck. -
Simply beautiful
Now this is an amazing love poem, with a refreshing style and a fluid flow.
A lucky woman indeed to have a man declare his affection so beautifully.
Good luck - let the ink flow and your fingers dance.
Rosemary -
Amazing
Another fantastic piece, I should say that if anyone wants to win my contest and catch my eye, this is just the sort of piece to do it, I hate to sound like a snob, but when you read a piece like this you realise there is a gulf of difference between some child like scribblings and a talented writer expressing themselves.
This is a fantastic piece.
Thanks for entering.
James -
Thank you for joining! Vivid, live picture and such an unusual poem, it reads so easily. Good luck!
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Wow, this is absolutely amazing
I really have no words..Your word use was....Wow. I'm speechless 
This is beautiful, I'm impressed. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in my contest!
~Lana
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Wow this was a very unique piece, i really liked how each paragraph was in a different position.
"Your hands on your hips,
mirrored sunglasses
concealing the fire
we all know trembles inside."
I really enjoyed reading that part, awesome write -
oh gotcha. that works well, then.
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Another beautiful piece.
Those first three lines definately set the standard for the rest of the piece. They were just amazing.
And I do apologise that someone said this poem reminded them of Alanis Morisette... That's inhumane. My apologies if you're actually a fan, haha. But you did say you loved Modest Mouse, Sia, Daughter Darling and what not, so yes.
Anyway, you have a way with words. Fantastic.
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I depend on your purity,
your black amnesty
flexed in my palm,
fixed to my pulse,
I cherish
your unwavering blaze...
Oh lovely ending. And I liked how you cleared that up about the ellipses, though they didn't confuse me. I really liked your format, I like that sort of not just going straight down the page. It's easier on my eyes, when I can move them with the words. Beautiful piece.
Good luck in the contest.
Miseria -
That was beautiful and brilliant! I loved it...Keep it up...Stacey
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This poem definitely reminds me of an Alanis Morissette song. With all its perfect wordiness and creative use of emotion, I think she would be proud if she read this.
There is such an intensity to the way this was written, it would have to have been about someone you love, as you have said this was written about your wife.
I am sure she is honored for such a talented poet as yourself to have written her something so creative, so beautiful, that it stands alone amongst most poetry as unique and original.
Good luck and thanks for entering.
much love,
James
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Oh my I see in your comments you wrote this for your wife! And here I thought you were talking about ME!
I love this piece. I love the format and the line spacing. I love the brevity. Most of all, I love the way you described a spit-fire! 
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How pleased she will have to be with this . This is a write that reminds me of what they mean by"unconditional love" for that is what the entire write said to me. I wish you and her the best and always enough of "ALL"
Reenie
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wow..beautiful words with tremendous imagery shows the signs of an incredible poet
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GREAT
Wow. I love this. It gives a whole new meaning to "you're so cute when you're mad.." -
Wonderful write to your wife..very different and very nice warm feelings expressed in special way..great job
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Wonderful opening lines that really cut to the heart of this fantastic piece. I feel somehow more enriched from reading this piece. Well done. Tony.
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This was one of the warmest love poems I've read... beautiful format, excellent imagery, wonderful. Fantastic job.
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A lovely gift, to be certain. I particularly liked, "beautiful imbalanced rage."
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Hope they feel the same as you,you put it out there for one to read and that says allot about how much you care and feel.all my best to you and your's .
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super cool...i can only hope that whoever i marry can express how he feels about me in way that is sincere like you.
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Dark and well-written!!
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This poem scintillates and burns like an acidic fire to the gut. Great poem you have here. The innovation is beautiful. I can't see anything wrong here. I love the wordplay and the personal nature of this poem. I'm feeling it. Thank you for sharing. You've fully earned my applause.
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Well Done
wow - good imagery - strong words. -
I cherish your
beautiful
inbalanced rage.
that first line had me hooked- it reminded me something out of GINSBERG, though all it's own. it held it's own flavor- plus it just remnded me of my friend kell- she is amazing, and she has done verything you spill out into yer poem. i love this work, and it made be think of the one i love- which makes it that even better- keep on writing!
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i also loved the imagery. the emotions portrayed are incredibly easy to be seen.
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ooooh... very nice. It was cold yet warm... written in a cold style, but with all the intent of the inferno... oh, that makes no sense, does it?
Well, I loved it.
Best of luck in the contest.
Elizabeth -
I love this poem! I love the twist in the end where you have to go back to the begining to finish. I love that concept. Amazing!!!
~CCG -
Wow! This is very powerful! Your wife is lucky to be married to a talented writer like you! This was good! Very! Keep up the terrific work! I might not be a fan of non-rhyming poetry, but I thought this was good!
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im not trying to be a jerk or anything but i didint get it, the vocabullary and rythem were both beautiful, but i prefer more structured pieces... im sure it was beautiful, i read it twice, very complex... impressive, but if you were trying to get some sort of a point acroos other than, "look i own a dictionary" then you lost this writer, sorry for the harsh comment
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your wife is lucky
oh god that was amazing, i loved it. truely superb, wow. i loved it -
This poem is really well-written, extraordinary vocabulary and a complex theme.
I enjoyed the structure of the poem, literally. The spacing of the words was interesting and also expressive.
Great job! I hope you write often.
Love Black-moon -
not my cup of tea
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You used fantastic imagery in this piece! YOu must love your wife so much! Great job! Good luck in the contest!
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The title of this poem made me want to read it right off the bat, because I enjoy trying to figure out seemingly random, unexplained titles. Then I found out that your title completes your poem which is a magnificent little way that had me saying 'that's really awesome.'
I love the imagery in this poem, and the descriptions were absolutely brilliant.
This was just outstanding. -
My this sizzeled. I like the format you used, it didn't hender the flow of the piece, in my opinion. Nice write. I enjoyed the read.
Good luck in the contest.
~Dee -
This is awesome! The imagery was outstanding. Great Work! Hope to see more.
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Wow!!!, this was great. I love the descriptions and vivid imagery in this piece. I found it to be well written and so so so good. You have done a wonderful job on this write. thank you for sharing it.
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Very interesting write! I was thinking something about the cop from Cool Hand Luke with the mirrored sunglasses. Awesome poem! Very good!
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I really enjoyed it! It shows how much you really love her.
It's also very hot and passionate with a great flow.
Nice write!
x Jennifer -
Firery
You really burnt me up with this firey write.What a great hot tribute to your wife .She must be a real ball of fire.Liked the imagery and the burning words.Good write!
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