the scuffed toecap
of an old work-boot
-- protruding from the shadow
of my sick-bed
Andrew Hide
01~08~2005
Author notes
Written August 1st, 2005
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"A tie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful" - Yann Martel. Reading this poem, it seemed as though the scuff mark was the only thing left of a man who worked himself into an illness. The fact that he's not actually in the poem also gave the impression that he had already passed on, looking down at the imperfections he is leaving behind...
Of course, that's just the way I see it. -
funny when i read it, it made me think of someone who was not looking forward to going back to work. like hey, i'm either sick or working. much like a kid who wanted to be able to stay home from school once in a while and be able to really enjoy it.
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Thank you Charishma, ;0 I am mending fast.
From a technical point of view, I would call this a tanka, although a slight play on the image allows it to be presented as a single solid scene as in a haiku.
The five lines as we often see them are of course a western addition and in the natural form the tanka would appear in two lines. From that point this would still sit within the tanka form. The actual poem could lead to some confusion from the image.
The whole poem serves to represent the outer scene, but the second is were the twist lies,
protruding from the shadow
of my sick-bed
In this case, both applies as a part of the image and serves as the feeling of the poet as a metaphor.
I hope this helps shead a little light on my wonderings from the normal.
Andrew -
Deep and layered
Oh Mr. Hide! I feel very sorry that you are sick. I do sincerely pray and hope for your speedy recovery and good health in no time.
The imagery of this poem struck clearly in my mind. I can see it and the sorrow and longing to get back to work, to get life in order, for things to become normal...I can see that yearning very clearly in this poem. Reading this made me feel that time has become stagnant and just doesn't seem to move for you. You are wishing for new times in which you would be happy, healthy and back to work, fit as a fiddle, and, as I see it, get a new pair of shoes too.
You've caught my curiosity here. Is this a tanka? It's a four line poem and as far as I recall from your class and what I had learnt from other sources, tanka is usually penned in five lines. It may not necessarily be 5-7-5-7-7 but it has to be 31 syllables ot less. Is this a tanka? It is not a haiku, I know. Well, it's a puzzle for now in my mind
I sincerely hope for good health to be yours very soon.
With good thoughts and warm regards,
Charishma -
I find this to be terribly depressing. I would get into all the thoughts/emotions within from reading this but at the moment I don't feel like typing. Excellent work.
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evocative
a four line tanka? i've never seen that before - but i've never written tankas and don't read them all that often, so my comments on the form are pretty naive.
i liked the images you portrayed in this poem...the work-boot & the sick bed gives me hope that the sick will soon get better & will be well enough to resume their work...altho, sick-bed is the last thing mentioned so perhaps that will over-ride the work the person once did...
either way it's an excellent poem, with the minimum said and ambiguous like all great poems are.
thanks for this one...i hope it's not about your current state...
if it is, i hope you get better soon...
yours in haiku respect,
myron.
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Good one. A cameo biography. Makes me think of an old Chinese worker. Reflection of a life grown old.
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The day is coming when you can pull that boot back out. Is it maybe time and the boot is a subtle reminder to get back in the game.
I do like the image you have given us. -
That boot is just waiting for you Andrew. Won't be long now my friend... and you'll be as good as new..... take care.
Good to see ya posting your poetic gems.
Don -
Very deep Andrew. The shadows will dissipate eventually I sincerely hope and one day you can complain about how much that old boot hurts your feet
Von -
a work boot that has seen many days ... ready for more .... waiting .... shadows are not always sinister .. sometimes, a great resting place .... i hope this is the case .... >>> EM
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